Snark two point oh
Chapter 2 time!
Our dear girl let's us in on how incredibly stupid she is, announcing that she had to use a dictionary to look up "decorum," and then the descriptive word, "etiquette."
Honey, aren't you in middle school? 'Cuz you might need to go back a few years . . .
She is also too dumb to extend her 98 word essay with something besides, "The End." This girl has some issues. I'm guessing that, much like the author, English and composition are NOT her best subjects.
Alright, homework is done! We are all stunned to learn that Kristy actually was aware that Paraguay was a place AND was smart enough to write a report on it! She deserves, at the very least, a pat on the back for that.
Now let's plan out the club! GET THIS - the plan for the babysitter's club? Yeah, you know, the one the book series is titled after? IT WOULD BE "A CLUB TO DO BABYSITTING!" I shit you not, this is a fucking direct quote, minus the all-caps.
Finally, Claudia has some value! She can "draw something really cute on (the) ads." God damn, Kristy. You are one stone-cold bitch. Your, "we're not really friends, but I can use her!" attitude really fucking kills me.
She does show a bit of sensitivity when it comes to her mother, though. She doesn't want her mom to feel guilty about her father being a man-whore, who ran off with some slut and doesn't send much in the way of child support. Understatement of the year: He "can be sort of a jerk sometimes." And by SORT OF A JERK, she goes on to explain, she means HE HASN'T HAD CONTACT WITH HIS CHILDREN FOR OVER A YEAR AND FORGOT HER BIRTHDAY. I'm confused as to why she can be such a shitty person about Claudia and Mary Anne's dad, yet be so goddamn aloof as to what a piece of shit her own father is. This girl is Grade F dumb as a fucking brick.
Mom seems pretty cool. She takes a little bit of time to talk to each of her four children that she is raising as a single parent each night. Good thing she has a decent job and can provide for them all alone. She's already my hero of this book.
Okay, now mom is off to kiss her other kid's good night, so it's FLASHLIGHT 'O' CLOCK!
Holy fuck - that was THE single-most anti-climactic thing I have ever read. Kristy was so stoked about sharing her message and Mary Anne just shuts her down with a severe lack of enthusiasm. Hahahaha! I can't say that she didn't deserve it.
Ah, shit, mom is back! Alright, insert stereotypical "divorced mom is dating a guy her kids don't like just because they aren't daddy dearest" snippet. Instead of taking his money like any decently conniving bitch, Kristy just refuses to babysit his kids.
Fuck you, Kristy. Like, seriously.
Our dear girl let's us in on how incredibly stupid she is, announcing that she had to use a dictionary to look up "decorum," and then the descriptive word, "etiquette."
Honey, aren't you in middle school? 'Cuz you might need to go back a few years . . .
She is also too dumb to extend her 98 word essay with something besides, "The End." This girl has some issues. I'm guessing that, much like the author, English and composition are NOT her best subjects.
Alright, homework is done! We are all stunned to learn that Kristy actually was aware that Paraguay was a place AND was smart enough to write a report on it! She deserves, at the very least, a pat on the back for that.
Now let's plan out the club! GET THIS - the plan for the babysitter's club? Yeah, you know, the one the book series is titled after? IT WOULD BE "A CLUB TO DO BABYSITTING!" I shit you not, this is a fucking direct quote, minus the all-caps.
Finally, Claudia has some value! She can "draw something really cute on (the) ads." God damn, Kristy. You are one stone-cold bitch. Your, "we're not really friends, but I can use her!" attitude really fucking kills me.
She does show a bit of sensitivity when it comes to her mother, though. She doesn't want her mom to feel guilty about her father being a man-whore, who ran off with some slut and doesn't send much in the way of child support. Understatement of the year: He "can be sort of a jerk sometimes." And by SORT OF A JERK, she goes on to explain, she means HE HASN'T HAD CONTACT WITH HIS CHILDREN FOR OVER A YEAR AND FORGOT HER BIRTHDAY. I'm confused as to why she can be such a shitty person about Claudia and Mary Anne's dad, yet be so goddamn aloof as to what a piece of shit her own father is. This girl is Grade F dumb as a fucking brick.
Mom seems pretty cool. She takes a little bit of time to talk to each of her four children that she is raising as a single parent each night. Good thing she has a decent job and can provide for them all alone. She's already my hero of this book.
Okay, now mom is off to kiss her other kid's good night, so it's FLASHLIGHT 'O' CLOCK!
Holy fuck - that was THE single-most anti-climactic thing I have ever read. Kristy was so stoked about sharing her message and Mary Anne just shuts her down with a severe lack of enthusiasm. Hahahaha! I can't say that she didn't deserve it.
Ah, shit, mom is back! Alright, insert stereotypical "divorced mom is dating a guy her kids don't like just because they aren't daddy dearest" snippet. Instead of taking his money like any decently conniving bitch, Kristy just refuses to babysit his kids.
Fuck you, Kristy. Like, seriously.