Musings of an Unenlightened Mind
I have been contemplating life lately: the nature of existence, the purpose of relationships, why humanity is as it is.
It's somewhat difficult to explain,I suppose in a way that my newfound introspective nature could be a result of studying the Dao De Jing and reading up on Zen Buddhism, in reality though it's a facet of my personality. I have always had the urge to know, to see the truth behind the painting of life we are presented everyday.
I don't claim to know anything of course, as the truly wise person realizes that in truth they know nothing, however my theories abound and one thing that my romantic personality dictates is that I believe in intuitive understanding. A sort of feeling when you realize the ultimate truth of things.
I have this unending thirst for knowledge and understanding actually. I have for as long as I can remember, I had forgotten myself for awhile though. It is a long and difficult journey to piece together what was from the rubble I have created of me. It is an undertaking that I feel is necessary in order to live a fullfilling and happy life.
I lost myself somewhere, the is a great disjointing between who I was before puberty and the hollow manequin that masquarades as myself from that moment onwards. I cannot recall when or why I disjointed myself, or where it is that I lost myself. It is irrational to think of a person losing themselves really, because in essence we are with ourselves at all times and will be for all eternity. I feel, there are crucial pieces of it missing though.
It is almost like staring at an incomplete jigsaw puzzle, here and there are pieces put together but ultimately the entire picture is not completed.
I wonder if everyone goes through this at one point in time or if it is unique to myself. I wonder if anyone really questions their existence actually. I find that the average american individual does not question it. Their social circles, their activities, the basic objects in their life define who they are and they never think to question those objects. They behave in a way because that is the social norm for whatever group they identify themselves with and the thought never crosses their minds they are anything other then what they are, or usually that they can be anything other then what they are. The average person I think does not disolve themselves and replace it with a chameleon.
So I am presented with this somewhat nostalgic sense of who I am, written in terms of who I was. I do not believe that I live a lie, simply that I do not live completely. I believe, but I am not certain I believe. I care and am not certain I care. I am a creature of contradiction and shifting matter, the pieces continually shifting to try and piece themselves together.
My psychology professor once said that if you know who you are and truly believe in that person you can do anything you put your mind to. She was speaking about knowing one's limits and abilities, but in essence it can be applied to my situation. When you know who you are you know what you want, and it is easy to obtain something when you want it.
I am not quite as insubstantial as I once was, but at the same time I am not solid. It is like thirsting for enlightenment, hungering for light in a dark room.
I feel, optomistic in a way. I have not been in this personality mode for a very long time it seems. Much like a good friend you have run across after a long absence is the feeling. I feel... positively wonderful really. Free in a way. I am sure that does not make sense to you, but I will not explain.
One cannot exist by sitting passively and allowing the world to happen to them. Inevitably only chaos, destruction and despair will result from such actions. The only path to true happiness is to actively shape the world you live in, to make a conscious descision about each action you take and to decide ultimately what sort of person you want to be and where you want to go in this life. The world does not simply happen, it requires the input of energy from all people combining like the diverse parts of an orchestra to form the complex symphony we call life.
There is no such thing as riding the fence, coasting so to speak. You either move forward or you move back, to do otherwise is to stagnate and in this world the only stagnation is death. It is when we realize this that we can truly control our destiny and it is then that all doors are opened to us. When we realize the truth of free will and the power that our action or inaction has to effect not only our lives but the lives of all members of the human race.
All of humanity is one. There is no such thing as you or I, them and us; we are all of the same body, the same spirit. What effects one effects us all. When a part of the body suffers, so does the whole body suffer. It is our duty to do what we can for this body, even if it is as simple as doing the best we can at what we do. Each of us fullfills a purpose in life, just as each cell fullfills a function in the body. As such we need to do our utmost to succeed in all we try and actively strive for the betterment of society.
It is not simply the individual who suffers when we choose not to speak, but it is the group. If no one speaks against the injustice of the world, then injustice will always be. If no one speaks for equality, peace, love or acceptance then there will always be inequality, war, hatred and distrust. Each of us must find within ourself the truth and we must do all we can to have the world revolve around that truth.
All of humanity is one, no matter the color of skin, the shape of eyes, the height, appearance, or weight we are all Human and we are all brothers and sisters in the cosmic essence of the universe. We should treat one another respect and understanding, because in essence we are all the same. We are all made of DNA, we all are conceived in the same manner [meaning two genetic materials combined to produce offspring] and we are all one. There is no reason for hatred, as when we hate another we are only hating ourself.
We focus so much on what is different between us and we neglect to realize the truth, that we are all the same. The proof is in or very emotional responses to things. All humans regardless of culture, country, state, nation, or upbringing show the same emotions. We smile when we are happy, we cry when we are sad, we all experience the same fear, anger, joy, and surprise. We all have the same soul. We are all equal, the same.
This business of war is simply foolish. The hatred between people of different religions or philosophical choices is childish. It sadens me deeply really.
What has happened to compassion? To grace, and love? Is all we are truly capable of slaughter, distrust, and hatred? Is the only thing truly worth anything in the world how much you have? I don't understand it, I never have. I tried once to live to it, but I am incapable of it. I will not abandon my sense of truth any longer.
It's somewhat difficult to explain,I suppose in a way that my newfound introspective nature could be a result of studying the Dao De Jing and reading up on Zen Buddhism, in reality though it's a facet of my personality. I have always had the urge to know, to see the truth behind the painting of life we are presented everyday.
I don't claim to know anything of course, as the truly wise person realizes that in truth they know nothing, however my theories abound and one thing that my romantic personality dictates is that I believe in intuitive understanding. A sort of feeling when you realize the ultimate truth of things.
I have this unending thirst for knowledge and understanding actually. I have for as long as I can remember, I had forgotten myself for awhile though. It is a long and difficult journey to piece together what was from the rubble I have created of me. It is an undertaking that I feel is necessary in order to live a fullfilling and happy life.
I lost myself somewhere, the is a great disjointing between who I was before puberty and the hollow manequin that masquarades as myself from that moment onwards. I cannot recall when or why I disjointed myself, or where it is that I lost myself. It is irrational to think of a person losing themselves really, because in essence we are with ourselves at all times and will be for all eternity. I feel, there are crucial pieces of it missing though.
It is almost like staring at an incomplete jigsaw puzzle, here and there are pieces put together but ultimately the entire picture is not completed.
I wonder if everyone goes through this at one point in time or if it is unique to myself. I wonder if anyone really questions their existence actually. I find that the average american individual does not question it. Their social circles, their activities, the basic objects in their life define who they are and they never think to question those objects. They behave in a way because that is the social norm for whatever group they identify themselves with and the thought never crosses their minds they are anything other then what they are, or usually that they can be anything other then what they are. The average person I think does not disolve themselves and replace it with a chameleon.
So I am presented with this somewhat nostalgic sense of who I am, written in terms of who I was. I do not believe that I live a lie, simply that I do not live completely. I believe, but I am not certain I believe. I care and am not certain I care. I am a creature of contradiction and shifting matter, the pieces continually shifting to try and piece themselves together.
My psychology professor once said that if you know who you are and truly believe in that person you can do anything you put your mind to. She was speaking about knowing one's limits and abilities, but in essence it can be applied to my situation. When you know who you are you know what you want, and it is easy to obtain something when you want it.
I am not quite as insubstantial as I once was, but at the same time I am not solid. It is like thirsting for enlightenment, hungering for light in a dark room.
I feel, optomistic in a way. I have not been in this personality mode for a very long time it seems. Much like a good friend you have run across after a long absence is the feeling. I feel... positively wonderful really. Free in a way. I am sure that does not make sense to you, but I will not explain.
One cannot exist by sitting passively and allowing the world to happen to them. Inevitably only chaos, destruction and despair will result from such actions. The only path to true happiness is to actively shape the world you live in, to make a conscious descision about each action you take and to decide ultimately what sort of person you want to be and where you want to go in this life. The world does not simply happen, it requires the input of energy from all people combining like the diverse parts of an orchestra to form the complex symphony we call life.
There is no such thing as riding the fence, coasting so to speak. You either move forward or you move back, to do otherwise is to stagnate and in this world the only stagnation is death. It is when we realize this that we can truly control our destiny and it is then that all doors are opened to us. When we realize the truth of free will and the power that our action or inaction has to effect not only our lives but the lives of all members of the human race.
All of humanity is one. There is no such thing as you or I, them and us; we are all of the same body, the same spirit. What effects one effects us all. When a part of the body suffers, so does the whole body suffer. It is our duty to do what we can for this body, even if it is as simple as doing the best we can at what we do. Each of us fullfills a purpose in life, just as each cell fullfills a function in the body. As such we need to do our utmost to succeed in all we try and actively strive for the betterment of society.
It is not simply the individual who suffers when we choose not to speak, but it is the group. If no one speaks against the injustice of the world, then injustice will always be. If no one speaks for equality, peace, love or acceptance then there will always be inequality, war, hatred and distrust. Each of us must find within ourself the truth and we must do all we can to have the world revolve around that truth.
All of humanity is one, no matter the color of skin, the shape of eyes, the height, appearance, or weight we are all Human and we are all brothers and sisters in the cosmic essence of the universe. We should treat one another respect and understanding, because in essence we are all the same. We are all made of DNA, we all are conceived in the same manner [meaning two genetic materials combined to produce offspring] and we are all one. There is no reason for hatred, as when we hate another we are only hating ourself.
We focus so much on what is different between us and we neglect to realize the truth, that we are all the same. The proof is in or very emotional responses to things. All humans regardless of culture, country, state, nation, or upbringing show the same emotions. We smile when we are happy, we cry when we are sad, we all experience the same fear, anger, joy, and surprise. We all have the same soul. We are all equal, the same.
This business of war is simply foolish. The hatred between people of different religions or philosophical choices is childish. It sadens me deeply really.
What has happened to compassion? To grace, and love? Is all we are truly capable of slaughter, distrust, and hatred? Is the only thing truly worth anything in the world how much you have? I don't understand it, I never have. I tried once to live to it, but I am incapable of it. I will not abandon my sense of truth any longer.