the occasionally manipulated, never duplicated - Matt Jamison - Milliways

[mm_merky]

After things go pear-shaped with Tiwa ...

They go arguably even more pear-shaped. (Warning for sexual content of dubious consent in both links. Also: demons.)If you thought you'd seen Matt at the most miserable and exhausted he could get, you haven't seen him tonight. He's in the middle of the bar at a (relatively) brightly lit table, methodically

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[nita_callahan]

Nita had a bad night herself last night. Although, you know, bad is a relative term here.

When she comes into the bar, though, she's already looking a little tense.

She scans the bar for familiar faces -- one in particular. The sign on the board hasn't registered yet.

[tantric_slacker]

At this particular moment, Matt is measuring out bay leaves to place into a small sachet. It's sort of a build-your-own-protective-talisman thing.

He reaches over and drains the last of his most recent coffee. He's going to want another one soon.

[nita_callahan]

--Bingo.

She moves through the bar quickly, but hesitates when she gets close to Matt, suddenly unsure of how to approach this.

[tantric_slacker]

And as it happens, Matt looks up towards the Bar to see if the crowd is too dense for him to just go up and grab another coffee, and catches sight of her.

He looks stunned for a moment, almost stricken.

But he didn't hurt her. He looked and looked.

"Nita, I need your help."

[nita_callahan]

"--Okay. You go first. What's up?"

[tantric_slacker]

Does nobody read the signs?

Seriously, why do we even have that notice board?

Matt sighs.

"There's a demon," he says, "upstairs. Or at least, it started upstairs, in my room, and I put up a sign and I need to talk to Security but people just keep going up and down, and we have to stop it. I have to stop it. It's my fault."

That was the worst explanation ever.

"I'm still tired."

[nita_callahan]

"Oh my god, Matt, were you -- was it--?"

(I'm not who you think I am)

She fumbles for the chair across from him and sits, staring at him.

[tantric_slacker]

Matt glances to her with a frown.

"As far as I can tell," he says, evenly, "it was like ... being asleep. And you just do things because they're happening. I lost a lot of time, I'm trying to get it back."

[nita_callahan]

"Was it in you?"

[tantric_slacker]

He nods.

you're the top, baby

"Yes."

[nita_callahan]

"Oh, Jesus, Matt."

She really, really wants to hug him. He looks like he needs one.

She's not entirely certain he'd be okay with it, though, so she reaches across the table -- careful of the bay leaves -- to grip his hand.

[tantric_slacker]

Matt pulls it back as if she's scorched him.

"I'm sorry," he says, quickly, but he doesn't return the gesture.

"I just--"

Okay, how the fuck do you tell this to your girlfriend.

Matt's hand comes to his face, obscuring the scar on his cheek; he rubs at the side of his face.

"Nita, I really hurt some people."

[nita_callahan]

Her breath catches; she pulls back almost as fast as he does.

"Sorry."

She swallows.

"Matt -- you weren't yourself. I know that's--"

That's not enough.

"You can make it right. It'll be okay."

[tantric_slacker]

"I don't know if I can."

This sounds a little like it's part of a script that has been read out multiple times.

[nita_callahan]

(This, she realizes with a jolt, must be what Kit felt like when they came back from Ishamael's, when she wouldn't let him or anyone touch her -- this sheer helplessness. She can't think of the right words to say and she can't talk to him with touch.)

"Matt," she manages after a second, as quietly and evenly as she can, "you can. We can, if you'll let me help. Okay? We'll figure it out."

[tantric_slacker]

He glances at her, focus sharpening.

"Well-- that's what all this is for," he says.

He gestures to the items on the table.

"I'm trying to figure out how to stop it. I know how to ward off demons? It just looks like the best we could do would be ... contain it and send it back where it came from."

But Matt's circles have never succeeded in housing this particular demon.