Doctor Who Fic - Cat Got Your Tongue? (Nine/Rose/Jack subtext, PG-13 for swearing)
Title: Cat Got Your Tongue?
Author: Joanne
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Rose, Nine, Jack.
Summary: Cats, an alien planet and smutty banter - which is all Jack's fault, really. Rose doesn't really like cats.
Spoilers: None - takes place in that unknown bit of time between The Doctor Dances and Boomtown.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my setting, only the innuendo belongs to me.
A/N: Written for the Rose Tyler ficathon for mari4212 - honestly there was supposed to be a plot but the banter won out. I hope it fits your requests of a Non-Earth adventure, Nine and a cat (the last two are definitely there, but the adventure is more implied than textual). Very implied Nine/Rose/Jack UST (less than on the show).
"A human cat?" Rose asked, staring at Jack and the Doctor.
"An Earth cat, you mean," Jack pointed out.
"But…" Rose just stared for a moment. "We're how many aeons away from Earth? Space and time wise? And it's an Earth cat on this… very nice but slightly odd planet? I mean orange grass is all very pretty but it looks very odd. I wonder if they have grass orange skirts."
"Just don't ask me to wear one if they do," Jack joked. At least she thought he joked - there were times it was hard to tell with Jack.
The Doctor was just standing there, a rather pretty and large ginger striped tom cat nestled in his arms and purring.
"Earth cat," he nodded. "Would know one anywhere. Probably got some terribly cliched name like Tiddles."
"Looks more like a Crookshanks to me," Rose muttered. It was a bit bigger than the average stray moggy at least.
"But how did it get here?" Jack asked. "I mean, I know there are many cultures who developed along similar lines to earth and therefore have similar animals - remember the green horse on Rigelia Nine?" he said to Rose in an aside, "but his signals and everything are definitely from Earth. It is very puzzling. I don't suppose," to the Doctor, "that you've been hiding pussy in the TARDIS?"
Rose giggled just a bit at the way Jack put that.
"No," the Doctor said. "I have not been hiding any animals - present human company excepted - in the TARDIS. And I don't suppose you," to Rose, "happened to pick up a stray while we were there last?"
Rose shook her head and wrinkled her nose. "Never have liked cats much. No way I'd bring one with us. The rest of the universe doesn't need more."
"Awww, Rose doesn't like pussy either," Jack snickered. "Now I know the answer to a question I've been wondering about a bit…"
"Depends on the pussy and who it's attached to," Rose answered smartly. Jack didn't have to know about that time in high school… "It's the animals I don't like."
That made the Doctor's eyebrows shoot up, and he almost dropped the cat. Almost.
"So you've taken a walk on the wild side?" Jack asked, teasing.
"Maybe, maybe not, but you'd know all about both sides of the fence, wouldn't you?" she answered and grinned at him. It wasn't often she got the upper hand with Jack, though it wass a little more than with the Doctor, which hadn't happened often at all.
"The question remains," the Doctor pulled them back onto the topic, "of just how the cat ever did get here." He ran the sonic screwdriver over the furball. "Now that's… interesting."
"What is?" Jack and Rose chorused.
"This cat is over five hundred years old. Now I've observed cats enough to know that does not happen. And there is no such thing as an immortal cat."
"What does that mean?" Rose asked.
"That somehow this cat has travelled in time. It's the only explanation - it's not physically five hundred - just that he's travelled over that much of time."
"That still doesn't tell us about how he got here," Jack pointed out.
"Oh, I've already worked out that there's a human ship that isn't the TARDIS on the planet," the Doctor said. "Just didn't know if either of you had."
"There is?" Another chorus.
"There is," he replied with just a slightly smug expression on his face. "You know, Rose isn't a seasoned time traveller, but I'd have expected you to pick it up far more quickly," he said to Jack.
"So why aren't we talking to them?" Rose asked, ignoring the Doctor's dig at Jack.
"Because," Jack said, "their technology isn't as advanced as ours but it's advanced enough that we can't pretend to be inhabitants of this planet - and yes, I had already noticed," he said to the Doctor.
"So we send Crookshanks here back to the ship and things will be okay?" Rose asked.
"Hopefully," the Doctor nodded.
"Hopefully?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Even you can't make the simple return of a cat something dramatic."
"Of course he can," Rose said. "He's the Doctor. He could make walking down the shop for a bottle of milk dramatic. Though, in fairness, we haven't had that one yet."
"Yet," Jack agreed.
"Stupid apes, don't know excitement when it hits them," the Doctor said. "Come on, Tiddles, let's get you back home before these two infect you with their idiocy."
"Idiocy?" Rose gaped at him and Jack looked like he was about to make a witty comeback.
Unfortunately, the Doctor just walked on, ignoring their attempts at replying to his teasing.
"Okay, maybe we could see if the natives do have the orange grass skirts," Rose said, grinning at Jack. "And make him wear one. Do you think that would be an appropriate revenge?"
"Rose Tyler, you took the words right out of my mouth," Jack nodded. "I like it. And if they don't… well, there's a very bright pink one in the TARDIS wardrobe with the Doctor's name on it."
"Well, it must have been while you were kissing me," Rose had to respond. "And good. We'll get him yet. I don't care if it takes nine hundred years."
"It just might," Jack answered.
"I'm patient, I can wait," Rose said. "And on second thought, I think the pink would look ever so much better on him than orange. So to the TARDIS."
"He isn't going to know what hit him," Jack snickered again as they walked back to the blue box to wait.
Author: Joanne
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Rose, Nine, Jack.
Summary: Cats, an alien planet and smutty banter - which is all Jack's fault, really. Rose doesn't really like cats.
Spoilers: None - takes place in that unknown bit of time between The Doctor Dances and Boomtown.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my setting, only the innuendo belongs to me.
A/N: Written for the Rose Tyler ficathon for mari4212 - honestly there was supposed to be a plot but the banter won out. I hope it fits your requests of a Non-Earth adventure, Nine and a cat (the last two are definitely there, but the adventure is more implied than textual). Very implied Nine/Rose/Jack UST (less than on the show).
"A human cat?" Rose asked, staring at Jack and the Doctor.
"An Earth cat, you mean," Jack pointed out.
"But…" Rose just stared for a moment. "We're how many aeons away from Earth? Space and time wise? And it's an Earth cat on this… very nice but slightly odd planet? I mean orange grass is all very pretty but it looks very odd. I wonder if they have grass orange skirts."
"Just don't ask me to wear one if they do," Jack joked. At least she thought he joked - there were times it was hard to tell with Jack.
The Doctor was just standing there, a rather pretty and large ginger striped tom cat nestled in his arms and purring.
"Earth cat," he nodded. "Would know one anywhere. Probably got some terribly cliched name like Tiddles."
"Looks more like a Crookshanks to me," Rose muttered. It was a bit bigger than the average stray moggy at least.
"But how did it get here?" Jack asked. "I mean, I know there are many cultures who developed along similar lines to earth and therefore have similar animals - remember the green horse on Rigelia Nine?" he said to Rose in an aside, "but his signals and everything are definitely from Earth. It is very puzzling. I don't suppose," to the Doctor, "that you've been hiding pussy in the TARDIS?"
Rose giggled just a bit at the way Jack put that.
"No," the Doctor said. "I have not been hiding any animals - present human company excepted - in the TARDIS. And I don't suppose you," to Rose, "happened to pick up a stray while we were there last?"
Rose shook her head and wrinkled her nose. "Never have liked cats much. No way I'd bring one with us. The rest of the universe doesn't need more."
"Awww, Rose doesn't like pussy either," Jack snickered. "Now I know the answer to a question I've been wondering about a bit…"
"Depends on the pussy and who it's attached to," Rose answered smartly. Jack didn't have to know about that time in high school… "It's the animals I don't like."
That made the Doctor's eyebrows shoot up, and he almost dropped the cat. Almost.
"So you've taken a walk on the wild side?" Jack asked, teasing.
"Maybe, maybe not, but you'd know all about both sides of the fence, wouldn't you?" she answered and grinned at him. It wasn't often she got the upper hand with Jack, though it wass a little more than with the Doctor, which hadn't happened often at all.
"The question remains," the Doctor pulled them back onto the topic, "of just how the cat ever did get here." He ran the sonic screwdriver over the furball. "Now that's… interesting."
"What is?" Jack and Rose chorused.
"This cat is over five hundred years old. Now I've observed cats enough to know that does not happen. And there is no such thing as an immortal cat."
"What does that mean?" Rose asked.
"That somehow this cat has travelled in time. It's the only explanation - it's not physically five hundred - just that he's travelled over that much of time."
"That still doesn't tell us about how he got here," Jack pointed out.
"Oh, I've already worked out that there's a human ship that isn't the TARDIS on the planet," the Doctor said. "Just didn't know if either of you had."
"There is?" Another chorus.
"There is," he replied with just a slightly smug expression on his face. "You know, Rose isn't a seasoned time traveller, but I'd have expected you to pick it up far more quickly," he said to Jack.
"So why aren't we talking to them?" Rose asked, ignoring the Doctor's dig at Jack.
"Because," Jack said, "their technology isn't as advanced as ours but it's advanced enough that we can't pretend to be inhabitants of this planet - and yes, I had already noticed," he said to the Doctor.
"So we send Crookshanks here back to the ship and things will be okay?" Rose asked.
"Hopefully," the Doctor nodded.
"Hopefully?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Even you can't make the simple return of a cat something dramatic."
"Of course he can," Rose said. "He's the Doctor. He could make walking down the shop for a bottle of milk dramatic. Though, in fairness, we haven't had that one yet."
"Yet," Jack agreed.
"Stupid apes, don't know excitement when it hits them," the Doctor said. "Come on, Tiddles, let's get you back home before these two infect you with their idiocy."
"Idiocy?" Rose gaped at him and Jack looked like he was about to make a witty comeback.
Unfortunately, the Doctor just walked on, ignoring their attempts at replying to his teasing.
"Okay, maybe we could see if the natives do have the orange grass skirts," Rose said, grinning at Jack. "And make him wear one. Do you think that would be an appropriate revenge?"
"Rose Tyler, you took the words right out of my mouth," Jack nodded. "I like it. And if they don't… well, there's a very bright pink one in the TARDIS wardrobe with the Doctor's name on it."
"Well, it must have been while you were kissing me," Rose had to respond. "And good. We'll get him yet. I don't care if it takes nine hundred years."
"It just might," Jack answered.
"I'm patient, I can wait," Rose said. "And on second thought, I think the pink would look ever so much better on him than orange. So to the TARDIS."
"He isn't going to know what hit him," Jack snickered again as they walked back to the blue box to wait.