Lies My Lover Told Me
Title: Lies My Lover Told Me
Author: keepthexfaith
Pairing: OMCxOMC
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Not real, obviously. A figment of my imagination.
Warnings:
Strong language
Character death
Lies My Lover Told Me
Derek knocked on the door softly, afraid of the reaction that he was going to get. He had put off this visit for a while now, but he knew he would have to face up to this sooner or later.
"It's open." A soft voice called from the inside and he pushed the door open gently. The first thing he saw was a short boy, no older than 16, sitting on the bed and hugging his knees protectively. Immediately Derek walked over to the other boy, wanting to take away the pain.
"Josh, I…I wanted to see you. To explain." He said quietly.
"To explain what?" Josh said quietly, his voice cracking with pent-up emotions, "To explain why you lied to me?"
"I never lied." Derek practically whispered and Josh snapped.
"That is absolute bullshit and you fucking know it!" He shouted, standing up furiously and grabbing a paperback of the desk, "Don't lie to me anymore Derek! It was all bullshit and you know it." He threw the book across the room angrily.
"When did I lie?" Derek said calmly.
"When you told me you loved me! When you told me you needed me! When you told me you would leave her!" Josh screamed at Derek. He stood up, trying to calm Josh down, but Josh pushed him back onto the bed.
"I wasn't lying about any of that." Derek insisted, afraid to look Josh in the eye now.
"Don't lie again!" Josh shouted, tears running down his face once again. He almost hit Derek out of sheer frustration and unreleased emotion, but he had enough self-control to instead direct his anger at everything around him. He threw books, pens, glasses, basically anything he could get his hands on. Derek stood up again.
"Josh…" He said carefully, placing a hand on Josh's shoulder.
"Don't fucking touch me!" Josh screamed at him, pushing his hand away. He started hitting the wall, wishing more than anything else that he could hate Derek. Eventually the anger dissipated and Josh leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. He slid to the floor slowly and started to cry again, violent sobs shaking his entire body as the tears slid faster down his face.
"I thought you would be different." Josh muttered. " I thought you'd be different. I thought you'd be different…" He chanted over and over as he lay against the wall, a complete mess.
Derek sat there, practically ready to go kill himself right there. "How could I turn such a beautiful guy into this total wreck? I am worth absolute shit." He sat there watching Josh. The unstable boy was scaring him, the chanting, the crying and the shaking shocking Derek completely. He had never seen this side of him.
However, he soon realised that the chanting was better than what came next. When Josh finally fell silent, he stared out of the window and fazed out completely. They sat there for what seemed like days, but was really only about six hours. Six hours passed slowly and finally Josh spoke again.
"Why?" He whispered, his voice hoarse.
"Because I love both of you. And it's too hard to choose."
Josh went back to staring out the window again, and it was only now that Derek noticed his hand.
"Hey, are you okay?" He said, indicating the younger boy's hand. It had been steadily bleeding for most of the day and, although, it had stopped, his hand looked worse if possible. It had started to bruise and was going a faint purple colour.
"I don't care." Josh said, and the way he said those three words scared Derek more than anything he had seen that day. The hollowness of Josh's voice, so unlike the happy, bubbly boy he had usually seen, shocked Derek and he stood up.
"Josh, I'm going to get a nurse for you. Wait here okay?" Josh responded with a small nod, "Okay, see you in a minute." Derek thought for a moment before adding, "I love you."
Josh let out a small whimper, the most emotion he had shown since he had broken down and cried, and Derek's last thoughts before leaving the room were, "Have I broken him?"
As he walked down the empty corridors, his footsteps echoing eerily with each step, he realised that he had literally broken the volatile boy in room 206, and a part of his mind kept running over the moment where he fell apart.
'I thought you'd be different.' Echoed in his mind as he walked down to see the nurse. He got a bad feeling in his gut with every step he took, and decided to turn back. He walked a few steps, then decided he wasn't getting there fast enough and started jogging. By the time he had turned the corner he was sprinting.
He got to room 206 and pushed the door open, almost afraid of what he was going to see.
-- --- --
"Daddy's home!" a small, blonde haired boy ran out of the house and jumped into his arms.
"Oh, hey kiddo." Derek said happily, smiling and ruffling the kid's hair affectionately.
"Mummy, look! Daddy's home early tonight!" The toddler said happily as his dad carried him back into the house.
"Hey honey." The woman said, kissing his cheek and smiling.
"Hey Hazel." He replied, "So, what did you do today?"
"Well, me and Josh went to feed the ducks, didn't we Joshy?" She said, hugging the small boy lovingly.
"Yeah, it was cool!" Josh said, beaming up at Derek.
"What did you do at work?" Hazel asked, standing up and watching Josh run into the front room to watch TV.
"Look, I promise. I didn't lie to you. I love you and I still do. Hazel doesn't know I'm here. Did you know I married her? Yeah, we married last year, and we have a kid. He's almost two now. I called him Josh, after… you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for what I did to you. If I'd made my mind up sooner, then I wouldn't be in this position right now. Married to a woman I don't love and mourning my best friend, and my only true love. I love you Josh, and I'll love you forever." Derek said, forcing back tears as he knelt in front of the grave.
The tombstone read 'Josh Grey. 1989 - 2007. Beloved son, brother and friend.' But, as Derek looked at it and cried, he thought about a new addition. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and scrawled a message on the paper, taking tape from the flowers next to the grave. He taped the message up on the grave, near the the permanent inscription, and smiled through his tears. He walked away, feeling a little more relieved, almost as though he had done what he had been meaning to the last 2 years.
The tombstone now read 'Josh Grey. 1989 - 2007. Beloved son, brother and friend. And lover.'
"Derek. Derek!" Hazel said loudly, waving her hand in front of his face.
"What? Oh, sorry. Fazed out. What was the question?" He asked innocently.
"How was work?"
"It was…great." He said slowly and walked up the stairs and went to his office. He walked in, locked the door and leaned against the wall, facing a window. He slid down the wall and stared out of the window silently. It was only then that he allowed himself to cry.
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M'kay so you won't really get this one....but i might write like...a prologue kinda thing to it...if i get enough requests. If not...enjoy the confusion guys :)