English Anthologies - part 1
For this task, you will produce an anthology of writing (a minimum of three genres) representing the same sub-culture in different ways
Subculture: Bipolar
Speech | 1,042 words
Speak Out
The aftermath of full-blown mania is a little like the morning after a night on the booze - the flashbacks begin - along with a slowly dawning recognition of all that has been destroyed. The difference is, with bipolar you cannot simply wait for the effects to deaden. If a sufferer is undiagnosed or untreated, their thinking may still be irrational and their perceptions still distorted. Bipolar stories are invariably gut-wrenching recounts of loss and regret. Sometimes you will hear a story of a particularly stupid act and think, "why would they do something like that?” The truth is, we think it too.
As a mental disorder, bipolar can be defined as a period of extreme "manic" highs and major "depressive" lows. The individual suffering from this disorder will experience cycles of weeks, sometimes even months in which they become fixed within one of these moods. During the "manic" highs, the sufferer can become reckless, feel invincible and often experience uncontrollable thoughts and actions. Insomnia and rage can also become apparent as a symptom of this manic phase, though it is not just limited to these examples.
The "depressive" lows, on the other hand, can leave the sufferer with feelings of worthlessness, emptiness and chronic sadness. Changes in appetite and sleeping patterns are also common, though they can increase or decrease depending on the person. Suicidal thoughts are also incredibly common in the depressive lows.
The experience is, as with any form of illness, different for everyone. For me, the manic highs were directly linked to addictions. I would self-medicate in the hopes of bringing myself down from this mania, and I would have to take sleeping pills recurrently if I had any hopes of sleeping. During the depression I would become unresponsive, isolating myself. I remember feeling so cold, like someone had literally sucked the warmth out of me. If you could describe the manic highs as the brightest, fastest energy you've ever felt, the depression was the opposite - absolutely nothing.
The problem with bipolar is that it is so hard to recognize if you are not aware of the symptoms. Some studies show that diagnosis can be delayed for ten years or more, and even after this, the rate of a misdiagnosis has been suggested at 37% or more. Due to the nature of the disorder, it is often mistaken for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or severe depression. If prescribed Prozac or a similar drug for the depression the effects it has on the manic period can only be described as disastrous. Drugs that are used to combat the symptoms of ADHD, like Ritalin, can have a similarly destructive effect on a person's depressive low, dragging them down even further into the depression.
When I was twenty-three, I was misdiagnosed with Clinical Depression and prescribed 20mg of fluoxetine per day, which basically translated to four Prozac tablets every day. This worked amazingly at first; I was happy, cheerful and energetic. People commented that I looked brighter and happier, and a lot of people described it as me being 'back to my old self'. This lasted a bit over a month, and then the mania set in again. The medication that I took religiously now worked against my moods, sending me further into that chaotic lack of self-control and lasting much longer than usual. I didn't understand what was wrong with me - I had been fine only days ago. Everything seemed to be going perfectly until this.
The main problem, for me at least, was that I didn't feel like I could speak out about what was happening. In a time where mental illness is seen as a taboo, I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping my mouth shut, when in fact I was just harming myself more. I kept taking the Prozac daily, now also on prescribed sleeping tablets just to get me to sleep every night through the manic high. Eventually it wore off and I found myself somewhat stable again, but the prolonged lack of control I had experienced had unsettled me, and finally I spoke to my GP about what I was experiencing, who recommended me to a specialist, and shortly after my twenty-fourth birthday I was diagnosed correctly, with Bipolar Disorder.
Looking back on it now, it is a lot easier to explain what I was going through. Unless you have experienced that kind of social marginalization you can't begin to understand how alone a person can feel, especially when they do not know what it is that is wrong with them. I wasn't happy to find out I actually had a mental illness when I was diagnosed, but there was a certain sense of closure when I found out that it was something treatable, something that could be recovered from. Without observations from my friends and family, I never would have been referred to a psychiatrist, and never would have been diagnosed.
Awareness and acceptance of mental illnesses in the public is something that needs to increase. People need to view these disorders the same way they would a broken bone, or a virus - as something that can be treated and cured like 'regular' diseases. If more focus is not placed on making society more aware of the signs and symptoms such as bipolar, individuals may not end up as fortunate as I have been, and either end up misdiagnosed or never even seen to by a professional. A major part of bipolar (and something that is most clear in the manic periods) is a strong sense of denial. People suffering from bipolar will rarely get help. They will rarely even recognize that they have something wrong with them - and that is why it is up to the rest of you now.
If you know someone who you think might be affected by mental illness, or suspect you might be yourself, there are people you can contact, such as Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800 for under eighteens. Both numbers are anonymous and can help provide any information needed, or refer you to another professional if necessary.
It's time to end ignorance, and speak out.
Written from the perspective of a person suffering with the illness of Bipolar