Saturday Night Cigarettes
Title: Saturday Night Cigarettes
Author: keepthexfaith
Pairing: GabexWilliam
Rating: PG-13, I guess
Disclaimer: Not real, obviously. A figment of my imagination. Hatemail makes me horny.
Authors Notes: This doesn't particularly make sense, I know. Also, first Gabilliam fic so bear with me.
Gabe had a beer in his hand and was laughing as he nudged the side exit door open with his shoulder, but he went silent and almost dropped the drink when he saw who was there. He hadn’t expected William to be standing outside the side door when he left, but when he really thought about it, it didn’t seem that unexpected. William always waited for him after the shows, a pack of Malboro Red’s and a lighter in his hand. William only ever smoked Merits. He sighed and took one of the cigarettes out of the pack silently, producing his own lighter from his back pocket and showing him, eyes trained on William as he lit his cigarette. Gabe watched as William curved a hand around the flame of the lighter, his whole body huddling up slightly to protect the weak flicker of heat. He saw the way William’s eyes fluttered shut as he took the very first drag and he felt a pang of guilt as he noticed the bags under William’s eyes. He almost reached out to touch his cheek, just like old times, but that would have been a really bad idea. Instead he just clasped the cigarette with his fingers and drew it away from his lips, hand dangling at his side uselessly as they stood in uncomfortable silence.
“Why are you here?” Unsurprisingly, Gabe was the first to break the silence. He rest back against the wall, tapping his fingers lightly as he waited for an answer from William, but when he looked at the man again he realised that the other’s mind was clearly elsewhere. I was staring off down the street blankly and it took Gabe yelling “Bill!” for him to snap out of it.
“Huh? You asked a question, sorry.” He mumbled distractedly, licking his lips and then exhaling slowly. He shook his head a little, brows furrowed just slightly as he stared at the floor. It took a moment, but finally he grit his teeth and looked back at Gabe, blowing his hair out of his face before he let one shoulder raise and drop vaguely. He actually smiled a little then - just a tiny bit - and took another drag of the cigarette, sighing as though he expected Gabe to already know the answer.
“It’s what I do.”
Gabe dropped his gaze to the ground, but he should have known, and this was what William did. He tapped the ash off of his cigarette and looked down at it, frowning when he saw just how little was left. Taking his last drag, he exhaled and flicked the butt away, nodding towards the road.
“Let’s walk.”
Roles had switched that night, walking down the cold streets with only the cigarette smoke and each other to keep themselves warm, and there wasn’t much chance of either initiating the latter option. Normally William was a chronic rambler. He would point out random things as they passed, blurt out any thought that popped up, and in general would not go quiet until someone came along and shut the mouth for him. Usually this would be Gabe, but in all fairness this was hardly a ‘usual’ night for them anymore. Maybe once, a while back, but not any more.
Now Gabe talked endlessly, he pointed at things and explained, and when he ran out of things surrounding them to talk about he started going on about something else. He probably would have carried on this way a lot longer, but finally William cut in.
“…And if you go down there you get to-”
“Gabe.” William’s voice was soft but unusually forceful and it made Gabe stop mid-sentence, looking over at the other man, “Shut up, alright?” There was an awkward silence, then a stupid grin spread over Gabe’s face and he just nodded, swallowing down the last of his beer and leaving the empty Corona bottle on the windowsill of a newsagents.
They stopped walking outside the shop and William couldn't help but laugh at the irony, nodding towards the little alleyway behind it and tugging the pack of Malboro Reds out. He held them out towards Gabe and took a step back. Seeing the hesitant look on the other man's face he just sighed and reached out, curling his fingers around Gabe's wrist firmly and tugging him along. It was the first proper contact between them that night.
"Come on. For old times sake?"
That soft plea drew Gabe in instantly. He just nodded silently and followed him into the poorly lit alley, avoiding any touching of hands when he pulled one of the cigarettes out of the packet, once again ignoring William's offering of a lighter and using his own zippo. It took a few moments of shaking the remnants of fluid around for any kind of flame to appear, but Gabe wasn't going to reenact the stupid ritual that they had held onto for so long.
Another uncomfortable silence followed this, Gabe smoking and staring anywhere but the other man and William watching with twitching fingers, tempted to light up one of those stupid Malboro Reds just because. He rest back against the wall and crossed his arms, evidently surprised when Gabe was the one to break the silence.
"Why are you here, Bill." Gabe's voice was hoarse, barely audible over the traffic. It wasn't even really a question this time around - it didn't sound like one anyway. Really, Gabe knew exactly why William was here. It wasn't anything dramatic or romantic, William wasn't trying to "win him back" or go back to being "just friends". When it all boiled down to nothing, the problem here was that William was a routines person. When they had first met it was because William caught the same bus as him every morning. Not long after they had become friends Gabe asked him why. It turned out that the other man used to work in a bookstore, nothing fancy, just a second hand store full of books gathering dust. William had quit almost a month ago, but he was still catching the same bus every morning simply for the familiarity. When they had dated they always went to the same restaurants, watched the same movies and went through the same 'kiss, touch, clothes off, sex, sleep' routine every night. Now that they had broken up, William was still visiting the club that Gabe worked at on Saturday nights, with a pack of Malboro Reds and a red bic lighter. It was his routine, something to hold onto until he adjusted.
"I think tonight will be the last time." William offered up this short sentence hesitantly, almost trying out the words out loud and seeing how they fit. After a moments pause, he nodded and slid his hands into the pockets of those skin tight jeans that Gabe doubted you could fit a ruler in. "The last time, promise."
"You sure? Cause you said that about the coffee shop and look what happened there." They weren't even really friends any more, Gabe and William, but there was something about the other man that invoked the otherwise hidden worrier in him. He didn't want to spend the next three Saturdays plagued with thoughts of William wandering around his empty house without a purpose. He had seen the lost, confused look that the other wore when he wasn't sure what to do, and it damn near broke his heart every time it came around.
William just stood up straighter, looking around and nodding. "It's okay. I'll be okay." His voice was quiet, but the determination gave Gabe a welcomed sense of relief. Dropping the cigarette onto the floor, he quickly crushed the butt under his shoe and glanced at his watch. William smiled faintly, knowing how to take a hint, and as Gabe looked up he just took a step closer.
"Thank you. For this, for everything," He gave a small shrug, "I doubt anyone else would have put up with this." Gabe laughed lightly at this and William leant in, kissing his cheek softly and giving him a loose hug.
"Take care of yourself, okay?" Gabe watched and waited for the nod before he pulled his arm back from around William's waist. William stuck his hand out and Gabe just laughed, shaking it firmly.
"See you never, Gabanti." He murmured with a smile, letting his hand go and tucking the cigarettes into Gabe's pocket before walking away. Gabe lingered in the alley for a while after William made his exit, leaning back against the wall and just smiling. They would move on. William would be okay.
He walked back to the club in a better mood than when he had left it.