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From the Dept of American Ideals.
08.11.06
To. mixer2435 (for Public Consumption)
From: J. Moriarty
RE: The next two years.
I great thing happened in this country yesterday. Well, actually three great things. I was sitting in the lounge area of the Dept of American Affairs, sipping Mai Tais and watching the returns, and the first great thing was the voter turnout. It was ( Read more... ) -
News of teh Effed Up--Destination: Jackson, MI
Party game answer leads to murder rap
JACKSON, Michigan -- The party game asked people to name the stupidest thing they had ever done. Police say Jerry Rose answered, "Shot a guy in the head."
Now, Rose is charged with murder and armed robbery in the March 22 slaying of 60-year-old Edgar Hawke.
In a statement read by his lawyer, Rose said, "In light ( Read more... ) -
Memo from J. Moriarty
Editor's Note: After several weeks of dead silence, Mr. Moriarty faxed us the following dispatch on the impending demise of Sadaam Hussien.
06 Nov
To: Int'l Affairs Department
From: J. Moriarty
Re: The New Iraq
Mixer,
Woke up this morning finally free of these bizarre Chain Migraines and came back to work to find out about this Sadaam Hussien ( Read more... ) -
True Tales of the Effed Up-For Those Who Don't Believe in The Million-Pound Sh!thammer
I would like to be able to write some long, vainglorious screed about how when I woke up yesterday morning, I knew I would have Soggy Carpet by the time I came home. That sort of story would fit in very well with my P.R., but alas, the Soggy Carpet truly came as a total surprise. My morning, in fact, went as close to "industry standard" as I can ( Read more... )
