new dS fic, Kate & Leopold, Retold: a due South remix, Part 2/2
Title: Kate & Leopold, Retold: a due South remix
Part One
Fraser woke slowly, savoring the warmth surrounding him. He was spooned around Ray, and it was, quite simply, the most wonderful feeling in the world. He resisted the urge to tighten his hold, not wanting to wake Ray just yet. He’d never woken like this before. It was something he could all too easily get used to.
The thought that he wouldn’t have the chance made him frown, and he forcefully banished it, not wanting to dwell on things he couldn’t change. Better to enjoy his time to the fullest while he could. While last night might well have been a mistake, he couldn’t find it within himself to be sorry.
He nuzzled the back of Ray’s neck and placed a small kiss on his shoulder, smiling as he felt Ray shift back toward him.
“Mmmm. What time is it, Ben?” he asked sleepily, turning in Fraser’s arms to face him.
“Still the middle of the night. I’m sorry if I woke you, Ray,” he replied, kissing him in apology.
“I’m not,” Ray replied, rocking slowly against Fraser. He made a move in counterpoint, and was rewarded with a wicked smile from Ray. “But if you really want to make it up to me, I’m sure I can think of something,” Ray said, pulling Ben in for a long kiss.
***************
When Ray woke again, he took one look at the time and rolled back over with a groan. He’d forgotten to set the alarm, and if he didn’t get up now, he was going to be late.
Fraser pulled him close, his cheek resting against the top of Ray’s head. “Do you have to get ready for work soon?” he asked sleepily.
Ray snuggled in closer. “Yeah, but you know what? I think I’m feeling something coming on. Probably I should call in. Wouldn’t want to get everybody sick.”
“Are you really feeling ill, Ray?”
“Only at the thought of leaving you alone.” He flopped on his back and threw an arm across his eyes. “Oh God, that was such a girly thing to say.”
“I liked it,” Fraser replied, and Ray moved his arm just enough to see Ben smiling sincerely at him. “And while normally I wouldn’t approve of dishonesty, I have to say that I don’t want you to go. We’ve so little time left. Is it wrong of me to want to spend it with you?”
“Sounds awfully right to me, Ben.” He looked at the clock again. “Okay, so I’ll call Welsh, and then we’ll have the day to ourselves.”
***************
Turnbull knocked on Ray’s apartment door several times before giving up. If he and Fraser were there, they weren’t answering.
He sighed in frustration and went back to his apartment to make a call. After trying Ray’s cell but having no luck there either, he decided to try the station.
“Chicago PD, 27th Precinct, how can I help you?” Frannie said as she answered what felt like the hundredth call that day.
“Francesca?”
“Ren, hey!” she replied, perking up. “What can I do you for?”
“I was wondering if you’ve seen Ray Kowalski today. Actually, I’m looking for my friend Mr. Fraser - do you remember him from yesterday?”
“How could I forget - what a looker!” She sighed, remembering. “Ray called in sick, so he’s a no show. And I would definitely remember if Fraser had been here.”
“Oh. Well, it was a bit of a long shot.”
“Do you want to leave a message in case Ray calls in or something?”
“Yes, please,” he replied. “Just let Fraser know I’m looking for him if you would. I’m a bit concerned about him.”
“Okay. Hey, how do you and Ray both know the guy anyhow?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he muttered. “It’s a long story, Francesca. Please if you’d just give him the message if you see him?”
“Sure, Ren, not a problem,” she replied and hung up the phone.
***************
Ray knew better than to call Welsh directly. It took a little finagling, but he finally said he’d let Ray off, but only if he came by to sign some incomplete paperwork the ADA needed ASAP. If it hadn’t been for that, he and Ben might not have left his apartment. Would’ve been fine by him; he hadn’t felt this way for anyone in, well, maybe ever.
Fraser had been understanding about him needing to go in, and had even offered to go along. Of course, they’d needed to clean up, and Fraser had quickly agreed with Ray’s logic of taking a shower together to save time. It didn’t save time, of course, which Welsh wouldn’t appreciate, but to Ray’s way of thinking, he shouldn’t have to go in at all, so it evened out.
“I’m sorry about this, Ben,” he said again as they walked into the precinct. “Welsh will have my tail if I don’t get that report signed. I must’ve been really wiped to have missed it.” He gestured toward his desk. “You know where my stuff is. I’ll just be a minute, I promise and then I’m all yours.”
“I like the sound of that, Ray,” Fraser replied softly, smiling in a way that made Ray blush.
“Go on, quit distracting me,” he said with a mock growl. Fraser grinned and walked toward Ray’s desk.
***************
Francesca saw the exchange and sighed. “Why is it always the cute ones? Oh well. Hey, Fraser,” she called out. “You catch another mugger?”
He smiled, looking just a little embarrassed. “Not this time, Miss Vecchio. Ray needed to sign some paperwork.”
She nodded. “He’s always forgetting to do that. Makes my brother crazy.” She eyed him speculatively. “I’m glad Ray met you. You seem like a nice guy, and God knows he deserves one.”
Fraser tried not to react, but couldn’t help but stiffen. “He’s a very good man,” he replied, hoping he sounded nonchalant.
Frannie smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Fraser, it’s all right, really. You’re allowed to like him. I know he likes you.”
“He’s a good friend.”
Frannie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but that’s not what I meant,” she threw back at him. “I saw you two just now, and I know how excited he was about dinner last night. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him like that.”
Fraser looked at her closely, like he was trying to figure her out. “I’m a bit surprised at your approval of Ray and I possibly pursuing a romantic involvement.”
“Because you’re both guys?”
“Yes. It just isn’t something that’s spoken of when, that is where I’m from.”
“Well, Chicago has its good points and its bad ones, and you’re right, there’s plenty of people who wouldn’t approve. But to me, love is love and as long as it isn’t hurting anybody, who cares about whether it’s two guys or two girls or whatever.”
Fraser took her hand in his. “I’m glad he has friends like you, Miss Vecchio.”
She blushed. “You both do, long as you treat him right. And cut the Miss Vecchio stuff - it’s Frannie.”
Ray came up between them, slinging an arm over each person’s shoulder. “Am I interrupting?”
Frannie jabbed him in the ribs and ducked out from under his arm. “Just talking, so you don’t need to go all territorial on me.” She laughed at the ‘who, me?’ look he gave her.
“Yes you. What, you afraid of a little competition?”
Ray narrowed his eyes at her, and she glared right back, then batted his arm playfully. “Give me a break, Ray. I know how to play nice. And hey, I have a message for you.”
Ray and Fraser looked at one another. “Turnbull,” they said in unison.
“Ooh, in stereo. Yeah, he’s looking for Fraser. What’s up with him - he was acting really weird when he was here yesterday.”
“I’m afraid I can’t say, Miss- Frannie.”
“You know Turnbull - he’s always doing something wacky,” Ray added.
Frannie shrugged. “Ren asked me to tell you he’s looking for Fraser, and I did. What you do with the information is up to you.”
“You’ve done your duty, Frannie. Now we gotta go. Lots to do, big day.”
***************
Ray pulled out his cell phone as they walked toward his car. “Looks like I have a message on this from him too - must’ve called while we were in the shower.” He glared at the phone. “Okay, one of us has to talk to him - you want to do it or should I?”
“He has good reason to be concerned, Ray.”
“I don’t care. You’re a grown man, Ben. He’s just being a freak about this, and I’m not real excited about the idea of him getting people at the station all curious.” He dialed a number and waited by the car as it rang. “Turnbull, it’s Ray. Yes, we got your message. Yes, he’s with me - I said we, didn’t I? Listen, you need to cut him some slack, and quit calling the station, for crying out loud.” He stopped to listen, then rolled his eyes and handed Fraser the phone. “He wants to talk to you. Good luck.”
Ray unlocked the passenger door and opened it for Fraser with a wink, then went to the driver’s side to get in.
Fraser held the phone the way he’d watched Ray do it. “Benton Fraser here.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Turnbull’s disapproving tone reminded Fraser of his father.
“I don’t see where that’s a concern of yours. Didn’t we already have this conversation?”
“That was before you were gone all night.”
Fraser sighed, irritated. “You asked me to trust you, and I have. I believed you when you told me how I came to 2004, and that you’ll be able to safely return me home. Please show me the same courtesy, and trust me.”
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
Fraser looked at Ray and smiled. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll say good day.”
He could hear that Turnbull wasn’t happy with any of this. “Just remember - you need to be back at my apartment tomorrow morning. You have to go back.”
“I know.” He handed the phone to Ray, who closed and pocketed it.
“All set?”
“I believe so. He wasn’t happy, but that’s neither here nor there.”
“What’d he say at the end that got you so serious?”
“He was just reminding me that my time here is limited.” Ray just looked at him. “I have to go back to 1876, as I’ve said.”
Ray looked away for a moment. “How long until you leave?”
“I’m to be back at Turnbull’s apartment tomorrow morning.”
“Guess we better get at making the most of the time we’ve got then.” Ray smiled and reached over to squeeze Ben’s hand. “Okay, so what should we do next? Your wish is my command.”
***************
They stopped for some lunch, as Ray’s refrigerator was pretty much empty. Fraser suggested a walk after, and the two were talking happily, their conversation laced with innuendos, double entendres and outright dirty suggestions as to how to spend the day, when suddenly Fraser saw something across the street that made him stop for a moment in shock. As Ray looked to see what it could be, Fraser took off.
“Wait, Fraser - hold up! Where are we going?” Ray yelled as Fraser bolted across the street. He followed behind, dodging cars and pedestrians while trying to keep an eye on where Fraser was headed. Once on the sidewalk he looked around, but Fraser was nowhere to be seen.
“Ray, in here!” he heard, and turned to see Fraser at the doorway of an old building, gesturing him in.
“Where are we?”
“This was my father’s home. Turnbull followed me here, in 1876.” He walked through as if he knew the place, and Ray followed, a little bewildered. Fraser made a face as he passed a portrait on his way up the stairs. “My father, Maggie and myself,” he said, and Ray stopped to look. He could definitely see a resemblance between the young man in the painting and the man he was following upstairs.
“Fraser, do you think we should be just walking around like this? I mean, officer of the law here, breaking and entering really isn’t the smartest idea.”
“Nonsense, Ray, it’s a public building now. Did you not see the sign as we came in?”
“I was too busy trying to figure out where you’d gone to,” he groused in reply, and Fraser chuckled.
“I’m sorry about that. I just hadn’t expected to see anything so familiar. And look,” he went on as they got to the end of the hall. “My quarters.” He walked to the mantle, running one hand over it lightly. “I wonder…”
“What? Hey, what do you need that for?” Ray exclaimed as Fraser removed a knife from his belt and started prying at the mantle. Paint chips flew, and after a little work, Fraser pulled out a hidden drawer. Really hidden; it had at least two layers of paint over it.
“They’re still here,” Fraser said happily as he sifted through the contents of the box. “I put the things I treasured most in this box. My father was never one for sentimentality. Look,” he said, holding up a faded photograph. “My mother. This is the only picture I have of her.”
Ray moved closer to get a better look. “She looks like a nice lady,” he said.
Fraser nodded, gaze still on the photo. “She was indeed.” He shook himself out of his reverie and carefully replaced the photograph. “And here’s a sketch of Diefenbaker that I did - it isn’t a good likeness I’m afraid. And this ribbon is one I received for exemplary behavior in school, much to my father’s surprise.” He sorted through some more. “A few letters, and…” he trailed off, then held out the box for Ray to see. At the bottom of the stack, underneath everything else, was Ray’s business card. It was faded with age and hard to read, but it was definitely his.
Ray picked it up and looked closely; it even had his cell number scrawled on the back. “This is some kind of trick,” he whispered.
“It isn’t Ray, I swear it,” Fraser responded, putting down the box. “Look.” He reached into his pocket and removed the business card Ray had given him when they’d met, turning it over to show Ray it was the same one.
“So all that stuff you’ve been telling me really is the truth. I mean, I knew you believed it, but it’s just so freaky and impossible.”
“And true.” Fraser added quietly, catching Ray’s gaze.
“And true.” They looked at one another, then Ray paled.
“What’s wrong?”
“You found my card in that box. That means you had to go back to put it there. You’re really leaving.”
“I’ve said from the start that I’d only be here a short while.”
“I know, but the whole thing’s just so out there, you know?” Fraser looked hurt at that. “Don’t. I believed you believed it, okay? And I really was starting to believe it too, maybe like 85% there, but this…”
“It’s incontrovertible proof that I’m from another time.”
“Yeah. And I guess I thought even if it was true, maybe you wouldn’t go back.”
“I have to, Ray. I don’t belong here. And I’ve a duty to my family that I can’t just ignore.” His eyes pleaded with Ray to understand.
“But what kind of life are you going back to? You said yourself that your dad was pushing you to get married, live a lie, to make the family look good.” He grabbed Fraser’s hand. “Stay here with me. We can make it work.”
Fraser looked away for a moment, and when met Ray’s gaze, the anguished resolve gave Ray his answer. “I can’t, Ray. Please don’t ask me to. I have to go back. I made a promise to Maggie that I wouldn’t disappear. I can’t hurt her that way. But it isn’t just for my family that I have to return.” He rubbed an eyebrow, then looked down. “I’ve done nothing of importance with my life so far. But I must at some point, for Turnbull to know who I was, to seek me out. If I don’t go back, I’ll be removing the reason I’m here in the first place.” He placed a gentle hand on Ray’s cheek. “I truly wish things could be different; please believe that.”
Ray stomped over to the box, took the card out and held it up. “Looks like I don’t have much choice.”
By unspoken agreement, the subject of Fraser’s leaving was dropped. They walked around a little more, but later Ray couldn’t have told anyone where they’d gone or what they’d seen. They ended up getting some take-out and going back to Ray’s apartment.
If this really was their last night together, he didn’t want to share Fraser with anyone else.
***************
Ray woke up to an empty bed. It took him a few seconds to remember why that seemed so wrong; when it came back to him he was up in a flash, pulling on a pair of sweats and frantically searching his apartment for some sign that Fraser was still there. When he came up empty, he raced to Turnbull’s apartment and pounded on the door.
"Fraser! Come on, open the door, please."
He jumped at Turnbull's voice behind him. "He's not there, Ray."
"Where-" he stopped at the look on Turnbull's face. "He's gone back."
"He had to, Ray, you know that. He didn't belong here. If it's any consolation, he wasn't happy about-"
"Save it, Turnbull," he growled, cutting the other man off. "I don't want to hear it. He's gone, and I gotta live with that." Ray pushed past Turnbull and stomped down the stairs. Fraser had really left, goddammit. Ray knew he would, but he thought he'd at least get to say good-bye. But then, he guessed that’s what last night had been - one big goodbye.
Ray showered, dressed, and was in the GTO in record time, slamming the door and turning on the angriest music he had. Angry he could handle; he had a job to go to. Anything else had to wait until he was home.
God help anyone who got in his way today.
***************
Turnbull was surprised to find Francesca knocking at his door late that afternoon.
“Okay, so what happened?” she asked as she barged in. “I’ve never seen Ray so upset. Did he and Fraser have a fight or something?”
“Why are you asking me?”
She snorted. “Because you’re the only guy I know besides Ray who knows Fraser. So tell me - what’s going on?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Please,” she snorted. “Like I haven’t heard that one from you before. Come on, Ren - we’ve been friends for years. I’ve listened to all your cockamamie ideas. How much worse is this one?”
Turnbull went to his room, came out with a book, and handed it to her.
“I’ve seen this book, Ren,” she told him as she looked at the cover. “It’s the one on the area you grew up in, right? With the history of the guy who founded the town?” She opened the cover and skimmed the inside flap. “Hey, this guy’s name is Fraser too! So what, he’s a great great grandfather of Ray’s Fraser?”
He took a deep breath. “Take a look at the photos - you should see a familiar face. Do you remember my theory of time being thinner in places?”
***************
“This is so terrible,” Frannie said, tracing the letters on the cover of the book. “So they’ll never be together? No wonder Ray’s so upset.”
“I knew he wasn’t happy about it, but I didn’t realize it would be so hard for him. After all, they barely knew one another.”
“Are you kidding? He’s heartbroken! And he’s taking it out on everyone. My brother says his bad cop changed to psycho cop and he nearly had to pull Ray off of a guy today. The Lieutenant nearly suspended him. Made him take the day to cool off, I guess.”
“I had no idea.”
“Yeah. Ray - my brother, Ray that is - was so mad he threatened to quit and move to Florida. It just makes me want to cry.”
“I feel truly awful about this. I should never have gone back in the first place. All I wanted to do was see the man I’d read about so many times over the years.” Turnbull took the book from her hands and flipped through it as he spoke. “I just wanted to… just wanted to…” his voice trailed off as he focused on the page in front of him. “Oh my.” He said, face pale.
“What is it, Ren?” Frannie looked at the book, her eyes widening as she saw what Turnbull had. “Oh my God! We have to find Ray!”
***************
Ray turned up his stereo at the first knock, trying to drown out whoever it was at the door. There was only one person he wanted to see, and that was impossible now, so the hell with the rest of the world, at least for tonight.
“Ray - open up!” Oh hell, it was Frannie, probably here to cheer him up, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. “Go away, Frannie,” he shouted back. “I am in no mood for it tonight.”
“Dammit, Ray, open the door! This is important!”
“Please, Ray, you really need to let us in.” Turnbull? Why would she bring him along of all people? He was the absolute last person Ray wanted to see. “Both of you, go away - I mean it! I’ll arrest you both for disorderly conduct, don’t think I won’t.”
“If you ever want to see Fraser again, you’ll let us in,” Frannie yelled back.
Ray moved to the door, leaning his forehead against it as he spoke. “What do you mean, see him again?” he asked, wearily. “He went back.”
“Just let us in, Ray,” Frannie said. “Ren and I have something you need to see.”
Ray started to unlock the door. “If this is some kind of trick, Frannie-“
“No tricks, Ray, we swear,” she replied as he opened the door. “Ren and I, we were talking about how sad it was that Fraser had to go back, and we were looking through this book and we saw this and had to come get you.”
She held out the open book and he gave it a quick glance. “Okay, it’s a book about Fraser, proves he had to go back, do whatever it was he’s supposed to do. So what, you think this will help me? I can read about him even if I can never see him again?”
Frannie rolled her eyes and pointed at the bottom of the page. “Look at the picture, you doof.”
Ray looked at the photo she was pointing to, and it made his heart break just a little to see the happiness on Fraser’s face. He was pointing off into the distance, caught in mid-word as he spoke to the man behind him. Ray took a closer look - there was something familiar about the other man, something in how he stood. He read the caption below the photo and sucked in a breath. ‘Benton Fraser and his partner, SR Kowalski, at the start of their journey.’
He looked up at Frannie and Turnbull in disbelief. “This is a joke, right? You guys made this up.”
“It’s no joke,” Turnbull answered. “This is one of the few places Fraser’s partner is pictured; he was surprisingly camera-shy. Actually so was Fraser, come to think of it. But the point is, Fraser’s partner is mentioned by name a few times, and when he is, it’s usually as Ray.” Turnbull shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know how I didn’t make the connection sooner, but it’s right here, proof that you went back.” He put a hand on Ray’s shoulder. “You’re not supposed to be here, Ray. You’re supposed to go back to 1876.”
Ray looked up at them, distressed. “But I’m not from there - it’ll screw up history if I go back - that’s what they always say in the movies, so I can’t go! Besides, he would’ve asked if he wanted me there, right?”
Frannie whapped him on the side of the head. “Quit being an idiot. So what if the movies say it - you do everything movies tell you to do? This is your life, Ray. Do you love him?”
Ray sighed deeply. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then go for it.”
“She’s right” Turnbull agreed with a nod. “And honestly, this picture shows that you’re going back, so why fight it?”
Ray still looked indecisive. Frannie put one arm around him.
“Look at him, he looks happy, right? So it’ll work out. Go be happy, Ray.”
Fraser’s voice echoed in Ray’s mind as he looked at the picture. What would you miss if our circumstances were reversed? He thought about it, about all the things he’d never see again, the people, his job. Then he thought about how he’d been feeling this whole damn day. He’d had his heart broken before, but it was nothing compared to this. And now, the universe was giving him a chance, if he was brave enough to take it.
Ray looked up and clapped his hands together determinedly. “Okay, Turnbull, you’ve done this - what do I need to do?”
As it turned out, not a lot. Ray gave Frannie some blank signed checks and his bank information, along with the few bills he had, then wrote quick notes to his parents, Stella, and Vecchio, and a brief letter of resignation to Welsh. Hell, after his behavior today, Welsh and Vecchio would probably be glad to be rid of him. But the others… Ray made Frannie and Turnbull promise to explain things as best they could. “Just tell them I met the guy of my dreams and we’re riding off on his dogsled into the sunset.” He tilted his head toward the book Turnbull held. “Nothing like the truth.”
“I’ll deal with my brother, but you’re calling your parents, Ray,” she’d insisted. “There’s no way they’re gonna believe me - they barely know me.”
“Fine, whatever, I’ll call them on the way,” Ray responded as he tried to wrap his head around the magnitude of what he was about to do. “This is crazy, this is crazy,” he muttered continually as he threw together a few things that might actually be useful. The craziest part, he realized, was just how sane the decision felt to make.
“Turnbull, you’re welcome to any of this junk you want. You too, Frannie,” he said, indicating the contents of his apartment. “Guess it’s a good thing I don’t collect stuff, huh?” He reached over Turnbull to grab a half-empty bag of M&Ms and stuff it into his duffel bag.
Turnbull looked at his watch. “We need to go soon, Ray. There’s not a lot of time left.”
Ray took another frantic glance around, then ran into the bathroom and looked himself over. He started to pick up the hair gel, then sighed and put it back. “Never mind - not gonna be able to use this anymore.”
“Okay, he said, as he came back out and headed for the door, grabbing his bags as he went. “I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be.”
***************
It was just as Turnbull had said. Fraser was back in 1876. Not only that, it was even the same day, the very morning of the day he’d left. Fraser made it back to the house and his rooms undetected, which was a blessing. Only Diefenbaker had noted his presence, but he seemed to sense Fraser’s distress, and curled up on the rug by the bed, watching him worriedly. Fraser spent a long time just staring out his window, watching the city go by and picturing an overlay of skyscrapers and automobiles.
He hadn’t known he could hurt so much and still live. But it was too late now. He was back, with no one the wiser that he’d ever been away. His only tangible proof was Ray’s business card, clutched in his hand. It wasn’t until he felt a drop of wetness hit his hand that he realized he was crying. Fraser sank onto the window seat and let the tears fall, silent, mourning the loss of a man that wouldn’t be born for nearly a century.
The change in the sun’s position warned him that he needed to dress for the upcoming dinner. He carefully placed Ray’s card in the hidden compartment before starting his preparations. He was nearly done, having gone through the motions mechanically, when Maggie knocked on the door.
“Really, Ben,” Maggie began as she walked into his quarters. “Sometimes I think you - Ben? What is it, what’s happened?” Her voice was filled with concern. “You look as if someone’s died.”
He fought the urge to laugh at that, sure if he started he’d never stop. “Please, Maggie. Not now.”
The look of worry on her face was too much; Fraser turned away, pretending to check his cravat in the mirror.
She put a hand on his back, and he stiffened involuntarily.
“You don’t have to do this, Ben,” she said. “You could go off on that adventure you’ve always talked about, get away from the city. Honestly, we’ll be fine.”
“You don’t think I should stay?”
“Only if it would make you happy, and we both know it won’t. Father certainly doesn’t know what’s best for you. Ben, don’t make yourself miserable for his sake.”
He laughed humorlessly. “It’s likely I’ll be miserable in any case.”
Maggie shook her head. “What happened to you today? I’ve never seen you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’ve no fight in you, like you’ve given up. Like you’ve got no choice what happens to you.”
“Maybe I’m just tired of fighting.”
“There’s more to it than that. Tell me, Ben,” she pleaded. “We’ve never kept secrets from one another.”
“I don’t mean to be secretive. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” He sighed deeply and moved to look out the window. “I’m not sure I believe it, and I was there.” Maggie walked over to him and hugged him from behind.
“I wish you’d let me in, Ben. Maybe I could help.”
He reached down to clasp her hand, leaning back into the embrace. “I wish you could, Maggie. But there’s no help to be had, I’m afraid.”
She rested her cheek against his back. “Well, whatever you decide, you know I’ll support you. I always have.”
Fraser was silent for a long time. When he finally spoke, she could hear him struggle to maintain his composure. “Thank you, Maggie. You’ve no idea what that means, what it’s always meant, to me.”
Fraser stayed in his room as long as he could, finally making his way down once most of the guests had arrived. He’d expected a pointed look or comment from his father, but apparently Maggie had said something to him, for he only nodded a greeting when their eyes met.
Dinner was even more dreadful than it had been the first time. Fraser tried to make small talk, but it proved nearly impossible. He felt completely numb one moment, then near tears the next. When it came time to dance, he had to excuse himself. The memory of Ray in his arms was too fresh.
***************
Maggie watched him go through the back door, Dief at his heels once he’d made it outside.
Whatever it was he wasn’t telling her, it was obvious to her that it was breaking his heart. She started to follow him when she heard a commotion just outside the front doors.
“You gotta let me in - I’m here to see Benton Fraser. Just tell him I’m here - he won’t care that I don’t have an invite.”
Maggie opened the door to see what the trouble was. The man arguing with the doormen was dressed very strangely, and quite unkempt. From the bag on his back, she assumed he’d been traveling. “Can I help you?”
He looked at her and smiled nervously. “Hey, you’re Maggie, right? Ben told me about you.” Her eyes widened in surprise - she knew she’d remember someone so unusual if Ben had told her about him. How did he know her brother? “Look, I’m Ray Kowalski. I’m a friend of Ben’s, and I’ve come a long way to see him. Could you please tell these goons to let me in?”
She moved closer to the door to get a better look at him. He was dressed in the oddest clothes, and the bag he carried had strange fastenings. Still, there was something about him, despite his decidedly rough appearance, that kept her from dismissing him outright. “You’ve say you’ve come a long way, Mr. Kowalski?”
“Farther than you’d believe,” he replied fervently. The way he said it reminded her of her earlier discussion with Ben. Maggie gestured for the doormen to let Ray in, and ushered him into the foyer.
“Would he be expecting to see you?”
He shook his head. “No way. I’m probably the last person he’d ever expect to see here.”
Intriguing. “But you think he’ll want to see you.”
“I hope so. This was a one-way trip.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Please, Maggie. I need to see Ben, if just for a minute. He can decide if I should stay longer.”
“All right,” she decided with a nod. “But Father’s giving a party, and I’m thinking perhaps your meeting should be a bit more private than that would allow. Show him to my brother’s quarters, if you please,” she told the butler, then turned back to Ray. “I’ll let Ben know you’re here.”
He reached for her hand and shook it enthusiastically, much to her surprise. “Thanks a million, Maggie. Everything Fraser said about you was right on the money.”
She watched him move toward the stairs, and went to find Ben. He was just coming back into the house, and frowned at her approach.
“Did Father send you to make sure I hadn’t run off?”
She shook her head. “No, I came looking for you on my own. I have a question for you, Ben. Who is Ray Kowalski?”
He paled. “How do you know that name?”
“So you do know him.”
“Yes, but there’s no way you could. It’s impossible.”
“Nonsense. And it appears you know him as well. Is he someone you’d want to see, if you could?”
He just stared at her as if he’d lost his ability to comprehend English. “Maggie, what on earth are you talking about?” He stopped and tried again. “Maggie, have you seen Ray Kowalski, and if so, where?”
Maggie nodded, happy to see the life return to her brother’s eyes. “I have, and I sent him to your quarters, brother mine. I thought you two might want to talk privately.” She made a shooing motion. “Go on up while you can. I’ll keep Father busy.”
***************
Fraser couldn’t believe it; it couldn’t be true. Except how else could she have known? He shook himself out of his stunned paralysis.
“Thank you, Maggie, truly!” He kissed her cheek, then ran and took the stairs two at a time, nearly tripping on a rug as he turned a hallway corner too quickly. The near-accident forced him to slow to a walk. Ray was here; it wouldn’t do to kill himself trying to get to him. He got to his door and stopped, taking a deep breath before opening it. Ray was near his desk, looking over his stack of books. He looked up at the sound of the door. “Ben?”
Ray was here. He was really, truly here. “Ray!” he answered, striding over to Ray and pulling him into a bear hug. It was heaven; Fraser had died and gone to heaven. He held on for a long time, then finally pulled back enough to look Ray in the eye.
“You’re here! But - what? How?”
“Oh, you know, nothing big. Packed up some stuff, jumped off a bridge," Ray replied. "I told you I was the adventurous type.”
Fraser smiled at that and pulled Ray to him again. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” he whispered.
“Nowhere I’d rather be. Nowhen either. That’s good with you, right?” he asked, uncertainty threaded through his voice.
Fraser smiled and reached up to caress Ray’s cheek. “You made a leap. I can do no less. I love you, Ray.”
“I love you, Ben.”
“Then we’ll make this work, here and now. It won’t be as easy as your Chicago, but as they say, nothing worth having is easy.”
Ray laughed at that. “Then this must be worth everything, because us finding each other was damn near impossible.”
“It’s certainly worth everything to me,” Fraser replied, and then tilted his head to kiss Ray.
When they pulled apart, Ray grinned. “This is definitely the right kind of adventure. I gotta warn you, though. I probably don’t know much more about 1876 then you did about 2004.”
Fraser reached down to take Ray’s hand in his. “How about I lead, then?” he responded.
Ray smiled widely, and the two of them started dancing to the faint music coming from downstairs.
Part One
Fraser woke slowly, savoring the warmth surrounding him. He was spooned around Ray, and it was, quite simply, the most wonderful feeling in the world. He resisted the urge to tighten his hold, not wanting to wake Ray just yet. He’d never woken like this before. It was something he could all too easily get used to.
The thought that he wouldn’t have the chance made him frown, and he forcefully banished it, not wanting to dwell on things he couldn’t change. Better to enjoy his time to the fullest while he could. While last night might well have been a mistake, he couldn’t find it within himself to be sorry.
He nuzzled the back of Ray’s neck and placed a small kiss on his shoulder, smiling as he felt Ray shift back toward him.
“Mmmm. What time is it, Ben?” he asked sleepily, turning in Fraser’s arms to face him.
“Still the middle of the night. I’m sorry if I woke you, Ray,” he replied, kissing him in apology.
“I’m not,” Ray replied, rocking slowly against Fraser. He made a move in counterpoint, and was rewarded with a wicked smile from Ray. “But if you really want to make it up to me, I’m sure I can think of something,” Ray said, pulling Ben in for a long kiss.
***************
When Ray woke again, he took one look at the time and rolled back over with a groan. He’d forgotten to set the alarm, and if he didn’t get up now, he was going to be late.
Fraser pulled him close, his cheek resting against the top of Ray’s head. “Do you have to get ready for work soon?” he asked sleepily.
Ray snuggled in closer. “Yeah, but you know what? I think I’m feeling something coming on. Probably I should call in. Wouldn’t want to get everybody sick.”
“Are you really feeling ill, Ray?”
“Only at the thought of leaving you alone.” He flopped on his back and threw an arm across his eyes. “Oh God, that was such a girly thing to say.”
“I liked it,” Fraser replied, and Ray moved his arm just enough to see Ben smiling sincerely at him. “And while normally I wouldn’t approve of dishonesty, I have to say that I don’t want you to go. We’ve so little time left. Is it wrong of me to want to spend it with you?”
“Sounds awfully right to me, Ben.” He looked at the clock again. “Okay, so I’ll call Welsh, and then we’ll have the day to ourselves.”
***************
Turnbull knocked on Ray’s apartment door several times before giving up. If he and Fraser were there, they weren’t answering.
He sighed in frustration and went back to his apartment to make a call. After trying Ray’s cell but having no luck there either, he decided to try the station.
“Chicago PD, 27th Precinct, how can I help you?” Frannie said as she answered what felt like the hundredth call that day.
“Francesca?”
“Ren, hey!” she replied, perking up. “What can I do you for?”
“I was wondering if you’ve seen Ray Kowalski today. Actually, I’m looking for my friend Mr. Fraser - do you remember him from yesterday?”
“How could I forget - what a looker!” She sighed, remembering. “Ray called in sick, so he’s a no show. And I would definitely remember if Fraser had been here.”
“Oh. Well, it was a bit of a long shot.”
“Do you want to leave a message in case Ray calls in or something?”
“Yes, please,” he replied. “Just let Fraser know I’m looking for him if you would. I’m a bit concerned about him.”
“Okay. Hey, how do you and Ray both know the guy anyhow?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he muttered. “It’s a long story, Francesca. Please if you’d just give him the message if you see him?”
“Sure, Ren, not a problem,” she replied and hung up the phone.
***************
Ray knew better than to call Welsh directly. It took a little finagling, but he finally said he’d let Ray off, but only if he came by to sign some incomplete paperwork the ADA needed ASAP. If it hadn’t been for that, he and Ben might not have left his apartment. Would’ve been fine by him; he hadn’t felt this way for anyone in, well, maybe ever.
Fraser had been understanding about him needing to go in, and had even offered to go along. Of course, they’d needed to clean up, and Fraser had quickly agreed with Ray’s logic of taking a shower together to save time. It didn’t save time, of course, which Welsh wouldn’t appreciate, but to Ray’s way of thinking, he shouldn’t have to go in at all, so it evened out.
“I’m sorry about this, Ben,” he said again as they walked into the precinct. “Welsh will have my tail if I don’t get that report signed. I must’ve been really wiped to have missed it.” He gestured toward his desk. “You know where my stuff is. I’ll just be a minute, I promise and then I’m all yours.”
“I like the sound of that, Ray,” Fraser replied softly, smiling in a way that made Ray blush.
“Go on, quit distracting me,” he said with a mock growl. Fraser grinned and walked toward Ray’s desk.
***************
Francesca saw the exchange and sighed. “Why is it always the cute ones? Oh well. Hey, Fraser,” she called out. “You catch another mugger?”
He smiled, looking just a little embarrassed. “Not this time, Miss Vecchio. Ray needed to sign some paperwork.”
She nodded. “He’s always forgetting to do that. Makes my brother crazy.” She eyed him speculatively. “I’m glad Ray met you. You seem like a nice guy, and God knows he deserves one.”
Fraser tried not to react, but couldn’t help but stiffen. “He’s a very good man,” he replied, hoping he sounded nonchalant.
Frannie smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Fraser, it’s all right, really. You’re allowed to like him. I know he likes you.”
“He’s a good friend.”
Frannie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but that’s not what I meant,” she threw back at him. “I saw you two just now, and I know how excited he was about dinner last night. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him like that.”
Fraser looked at her closely, like he was trying to figure her out. “I’m a bit surprised at your approval of Ray and I possibly pursuing a romantic involvement.”
“Because you’re both guys?”
“Yes. It just isn’t something that’s spoken of when, that is where I’m from.”
“Well, Chicago has its good points and its bad ones, and you’re right, there’s plenty of people who wouldn’t approve. But to me, love is love and as long as it isn’t hurting anybody, who cares about whether it’s two guys or two girls or whatever.”
Fraser took her hand in his. “I’m glad he has friends like you, Miss Vecchio.”
She blushed. “You both do, long as you treat him right. And cut the Miss Vecchio stuff - it’s Frannie.”
Ray came up between them, slinging an arm over each person’s shoulder. “Am I interrupting?”
Frannie jabbed him in the ribs and ducked out from under his arm. “Just talking, so you don’t need to go all territorial on me.” She laughed at the ‘who, me?’ look he gave her.
“Yes you. What, you afraid of a little competition?”
Ray narrowed his eyes at her, and she glared right back, then batted his arm playfully. “Give me a break, Ray. I know how to play nice. And hey, I have a message for you.”
Ray and Fraser looked at one another. “Turnbull,” they said in unison.
“Ooh, in stereo. Yeah, he’s looking for Fraser. What’s up with him - he was acting really weird when he was here yesterday.”
“I’m afraid I can’t say, Miss- Frannie.”
“You know Turnbull - he’s always doing something wacky,” Ray added.
Frannie shrugged. “Ren asked me to tell you he’s looking for Fraser, and I did. What you do with the information is up to you.”
“You’ve done your duty, Frannie. Now we gotta go. Lots to do, big day.”
***************
Ray pulled out his cell phone as they walked toward his car. “Looks like I have a message on this from him too - must’ve called while we were in the shower.” He glared at the phone. “Okay, one of us has to talk to him - you want to do it or should I?”
“He has good reason to be concerned, Ray.”
“I don’t care. You’re a grown man, Ben. He’s just being a freak about this, and I’m not real excited about the idea of him getting people at the station all curious.” He dialed a number and waited by the car as it rang. “Turnbull, it’s Ray. Yes, we got your message. Yes, he’s with me - I said we, didn’t I? Listen, you need to cut him some slack, and quit calling the station, for crying out loud.” He stopped to listen, then rolled his eyes and handed Fraser the phone. “He wants to talk to you. Good luck.”
Ray unlocked the passenger door and opened it for Fraser with a wink, then went to the driver’s side to get in.
Fraser held the phone the way he’d watched Ray do it. “Benton Fraser here.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Turnbull’s disapproving tone reminded Fraser of his father.
“I don’t see where that’s a concern of yours. Didn’t we already have this conversation?”
“That was before you were gone all night.”
Fraser sighed, irritated. “You asked me to trust you, and I have. I believed you when you told me how I came to 2004, and that you’ll be able to safely return me home. Please show me the same courtesy, and trust me.”
“Do you know what you’re doing?”
Fraser looked at Ray and smiled. “If there’s nothing else, I’ll say good day.”
He could hear that Turnbull wasn’t happy with any of this. “Just remember - you need to be back at my apartment tomorrow morning. You have to go back.”
“I know.” He handed the phone to Ray, who closed and pocketed it.
“All set?”
“I believe so. He wasn’t happy, but that’s neither here nor there.”
“What’d he say at the end that got you so serious?”
“He was just reminding me that my time here is limited.” Ray just looked at him. “I have to go back to 1876, as I’ve said.”
Ray looked away for a moment. “How long until you leave?”
“I’m to be back at Turnbull’s apartment tomorrow morning.”
“Guess we better get at making the most of the time we’ve got then.” Ray smiled and reached over to squeeze Ben’s hand. “Okay, so what should we do next? Your wish is my command.”
***************
They stopped for some lunch, as Ray’s refrigerator was pretty much empty. Fraser suggested a walk after, and the two were talking happily, their conversation laced with innuendos, double entendres and outright dirty suggestions as to how to spend the day, when suddenly Fraser saw something across the street that made him stop for a moment in shock. As Ray looked to see what it could be, Fraser took off.
“Wait, Fraser - hold up! Where are we going?” Ray yelled as Fraser bolted across the street. He followed behind, dodging cars and pedestrians while trying to keep an eye on where Fraser was headed. Once on the sidewalk he looked around, but Fraser was nowhere to be seen.
“Ray, in here!” he heard, and turned to see Fraser at the doorway of an old building, gesturing him in.
“Where are we?”
“This was my father’s home. Turnbull followed me here, in 1876.” He walked through as if he knew the place, and Ray followed, a little bewildered. Fraser made a face as he passed a portrait on his way up the stairs. “My father, Maggie and myself,” he said, and Ray stopped to look. He could definitely see a resemblance between the young man in the painting and the man he was following upstairs.
“Fraser, do you think we should be just walking around like this? I mean, officer of the law here, breaking and entering really isn’t the smartest idea.”
“Nonsense, Ray, it’s a public building now. Did you not see the sign as we came in?”
“I was too busy trying to figure out where you’d gone to,” he groused in reply, and Fraser chuckled.
“I’m sorry about that. I just hadn’t expected to see anything so familiar. And look,” he went on as they got to the end of the hall. “My quarters.” He walked to the mantle, running one hand over it lightly. “I wonder…”
“What? Hey, what do you need that for?” Ray exclaimed as Fraser removed a knife from his belt and started prying at the mantle. Paint chips flew, and after a little work, Fraser pulled out a hidden drawer. Really hidden; it had at least two layers of paint over it.
“They’re still here,” Fraser said happily as he sifted through the contents of the box. “I put the things I treasured most in this box. My father was never one for sentimentality. Look,” he said, holding up a faded photograph. “My mother. This is the only picture I have of her.”
Ray moved closer to get a better look. “She looks like a nice lady,” he said.
Fraser nodded, gaze still on the photo. “She was indeed.” He shook himself out of his reverie and carefully replaced the photograph. “And here’s a sketch of Diefenbaker that I did - it isn’t a good likeness I’m afraid. And this ribbon is one I received for exemplary behavior in school, much to my father’s surprise.” He sorted through some more. “A few letters, and…” he trailed off, then held out the box for Ray to see. At the bottom of the stack, underneath everything else, was Ray’s business card. It was faded with age and hard to read, but it was definitely his.
Ray picked it up and looked closely; it even had his cell number scrawled on the back. “This is some kind of trick,” he whispered.
“It isn’t Ray, I swear it,” Fraser responded, putting down the box. “Look.” He reached into his pocket and removed the business card Ray had given him when they’d met, turning it over to show Ray it was the same one.
“So all that stuff you’ve been telling me really is the truth. I mean, I knew you believed it, but it’s just so freaky and impossible.”
“And true.” Fraser added quietly, catching Ray’s gaze.
“And true.” They looked at one another, then Ray paled.
“What’s wrong?”
“You found my card in that box. That means you had to go back to put it there. You’re really leaving.”
“I’ve said from the start that I’d only be here a short while.”
“I know, but the whole thing’s just so out there, you know?” Fraser looked hurt at that. “Don’t. I believed you believed it, okay? And I really was starting to believe it too, maybe like 85% there, but this…”
“It’s incontrovertible proof that I’m from another time.”
“Yeah. And I guess I thought even if it was true, maybe you wouldn’t go back.”
“I have to, Ray. I don’t belong here. And I’ve a duty to my family that I can’t just ignore.” His eyes pleaded with Ray to understand.
“But what kind of life are you going back to? You said yourself that your dad was pushing you to get married, live a lie, to make the family look good.” He grabbed Fraser’s hand. “Stay here with me. We can make it work.”
Fraser looked away for a moment, and when met Ray’s gaze, the anguished resolve gave Ray his answer. “I can’t, Ray. Please don’t ask me to. I have to go back. I made a promise to Maggie that I wouldn’t disappear. I can’t hurt her that way. But it isn’t just for my family that I have to return.” He rubbed an eyebrow, then looked down. “I’ve done nothing of importance with my life so far. But I must at some point, for Turnbull to know who I was, to seek me out. If I don’t go back, I’ll be removing the reason I’m here in the first place.” He placed a gentle hand on Ray’s cheek. “I truly wish things could be different; please believe that.”
Ray stomped over to the box, took the card out and held it up. “Looks like I don’t have much choice.”
By unspoken agreement, the subject of Fraser’s leaving was dropped. They walked around a little more, but later Ray couldn’t have told anyone where they’d gone or what they’d seen. They ended up getting some take-out and going back to Ray’s apartment.
If this really was their last night together, he didn’t want to share Fraser with anyone else.
***************
Ray woke up to an empty bed. It took him a few seconds to remember why that seemed so wrong; when it came back to him he was up in a flash, pulling on a pair of sweats and frantically searching his apartment for some sign that Fraser was still there. When he came up empty, he raced to Turnbull’s apartment and pounded on the door.
"Fraser! Come on, open the door, please."
He jumped at Turnbull's voice behind him. "He's not there, Ray."
"Where-" he stopped at the look on Turnbull's face. "He's gone back."
"He had to, Ray, you know that. He didn't belong here. If it's any consolation, he wasn't happy about-"
"Save it, Turnbull," he growled, cutting the other man off. "I don't want to hear it. He's gone, and I gotta live with that." Ray pushed past Turnbull and stomped down the stairs. Fraser had really left, goddammit. Ray knew he would, but he thought he'd at least get to say good-bye. But then, he guessed that’s what last night had been - one big goodbye.
Ray showered, dressed, and was in the GTO in record time, slamming the door and turning on the angriest music he had. Angry he could handle; he had a job to go to. Anything else had to wait until he was home.
God help anyone who got in his way today.
***************
Turnbull was surprised to find Francesca knocking at his door late that afternoon.
“Okay, so what happened?” she asked as she barged in. “I’ve never seen Ray so upset. Did he and Fraser have a fight or something?”
“Why are you asking me?”
She snorted. “Because you’re the only guy I know besides Ray who knows Fraser. So tell me - what’s going on?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Please,” she snorted. “Like I haven’t heard that one from you before. Come on, Ren - we’ve been friends for years. I’ve listened to all your cockamamie ideas. How much worse is this one?”
Turnbull went to his room, came out with a book, and handed it to her.
“I’ve seen this book, Ren,” she told him as she looked at the cover. “It’s the one on the area you grew up in, right? With the history of the guy who founded the town?” She opened the cover and skimmed the inside flap. “Hey, this guy’s name is Fraser too! So what, he’s a great great grandfather of Ray’s Fraser?”
He took a deep breath. “Take a look at the photos - you should see a familiar face. Do you remember my theory of time being thinner in places?”
***************
“This is so terrible,” Frannie said, tracing the letters on the cover of the book. “So they’ll never be together? No wonder Ray’s so upset.”
“I knew he wasn’t happy about it, but I didn’t realize it would be so hard for him. After all, they barely knew one another.”
“Are you kidding? He’s heartbroken! And he’s taking it out on everyone. My brother says his bad cop changed to psycho cop and he nearly had to pull Ray off of a guy today. The Lieutenant nearly suspended him. Made him take the day to cool off, I guess.”
“I had no idea.”
“Yeah. Ray - my brother, Ray that is - was so mad he threatened to quit and move to Florida. It just makes me want to cry.”
“I feel truly awful about this. I should never have gone back in the first place. All I wanted to do was see the man I’d read about so many times over the years.” Turnbull took the book from her hands and flipped through it as he spoke. “I just wanted to… just wanted to…” his voice trailed off as he focused on the page in front of him. “Oh my.” He said, face pale.
“What is it, Ren?” Frannie looked at the book, her eyes widening as she saw what Turnbull had. “Oh my God! We have to find Ray!”
***************
Ray turned up his stereo at the first knock, trying to drown out whoever it was at the door. There was only one person he wanted to see, and that was impossible now, so the hell with the rest of the world, at least for tonight.
“Ray - open up!” Oh hell, it was Frannie, probably here to cheer him up, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. “Go away, Frannie,” he shouted back. “I am in no mood for it tonight.”
“Dammit, Ray, open the door! This is important!”
“Please, Ray, you really need to let us in.” Turnbull? Why would she bring him along of all people? He was the absolute last person Ray wanted to see. “Both of you, go away - I mean it! I’ll arrest you both for disorderly conduct, don’t think I won’t.”
“If you ever want to see Fraser again, you’ll let us in,” Frannie yelled back.
Ray moved to the door, leaning his forehead against it as he spoke. “What do you mean, see him again?” he asked, wearily. “He went back.”
“Just let us in, Ray,” Frannie said. “Ren and I have something you need to see.”
Ray started to unlock the door. “If this is some kind of trick, Frannie-“
“No tricks, Ray, we swear,” she replied as he opened the door. “Ren and I, we were talking about how sad it was that Fraser had to go back, and we were looking through this book and we saw this and had to come get you.”
She held out the open book and he gave it a quick glance. “Okay, it’s a book about Fraser, proves he had to go back, do whatever it was he’s supposed to do. So what, you think this will help me? I can read about him even if I can never see him again?”
Frannie rolled her eyes and pointed at the bottom of the page. “Look at the picture, you doof.”
Ray looked at the photo she was pointing to, and it made his heart break just a little to see the happiness on Fraser’s face. He was pointing off into the distance, caught in mid-word as he spoke to the man behind him. Ray took a closer look - there was something familiar about the other man, something in how he stood. He read the caption below the photo and sucked in a breath. ‘Benton Fraser and his partner, SR Kowalski, at the start of their journey.’
He looked up at Frannie and Turnbull in disbelief. “This is a joke, right? You guys made this up.”
“It’s no joke,” Turnbull answered. “This is one of the few places Fraser’s partner is pictured; he was surprisingly camera-shy. Actually so was Fraser, come to think of it. But the point is, Fraser’s partner is mentioned by name a few times, and when he is, it’s usually as Ray.” Turnbull shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know how I didn’t make the connection sooner, but it’s right here, proof that you went back.” He put a hand on Ray’s shoulder. “You’re not supposed to be here, Ray. You’re supposed to go back to 1876.”
Ray looked up at them, distressed. “But I’m not from there - it’ll screw up history if I go back - that’s what they always say in the movies, so I can’t go! Besides, he would’ve asked if he wanted me there, right?”
Frannie whapped him on the side of the head. “Quit being an idiot. So what if the movies say it - you do everything movies tell you to do? This is your life, Ray. Do you love him?”
Ray sighed deeply. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then go for it.”
“She’s right” Turnbull agreed with a nod. “And honestly, this picture shows that you’re going back, so why fight it?”
Ray still looked indecisive. Frannie put one arm around him.
“Look at him, he looks happy, right? So it’ll work out. Go be happy, Ray.”
Fraser’s voice echoed in Ray’s mind as he looked at the picture. What would you miss if our circumstances were reversed? He thought about it, about all the things he’d never see again, the people, his job. Then he thought about how he’d been feeling this whole damn day. He’d had his heart broken before, but it was nothing compared to this. And now, the universe was giving him a chance, if he was brave enough to take it.
Ray looked up and clapped his hands together determinedly. “Okay, Turnbull, you’ve done this - what do I need to do?”
As it turned out, not a lot. Ray gave Frannie some blank signed checks and his bank information, along with the few bills he had, then wrote quick notes to his parents, Stella, and Vecchio, and a brief letter of resignation to Welsh. Hell, after his behavior today, Welsh and Vecchio would probably be glad to be rid of him. But the others… Ray made Frannie and Turnbull promise to explain things as best they could. “Just tell them I met the guy of my dreams and we’re riding off on his dogsled into the sunset.” He tilted his head toward the book Turnbull held. “Nothing like the truth.”
“I’ll deal with my brother, but you’re calling your parents, Ray,” she’d insisted. “There’s no way they’re gonna believe me - they barely know me.”
“Fine, whatever, I’ll call them on the way,” Ray responded as he tried to wrap his head around the magnitude of what he was about to do. “This is crazy, this is crazy,” he muttered continually as he threw together a few things that might actually be useful. The craziest part, he realized, was just how sane the decision felt to make.
“Turnbull, you’re welcome to any of this junk you want. You too, Frannie,” he said, indicating the contents of his apartment. “Guess it’s a good thing I don’t collect stuff, huh?” He reached over Turnbull to grab a half-empty bag of M&Ms and stuff it into his duffel bag.
Turnbull looked at his watch. “We need to go soon, Ray. There’s not a lot of time left.”
Ray took another frantic glance around, then ran into the bathroom and looked himself over. He started to pick up the hair gel, then sighed and put it back. “Never mind - not gonna be able to use this anymore.”
“Okay, he said, as he came back out and headed for the door, grabbing his bags as he went. “I’m as ready as I’m ever going to be.”
***************
It was just as Turnbull had said. Fraser was back in 1876. Not only that, it was even the same day, the very morning of the day he’d left. Fraser made it back to the house and his rooms undetected, which was a blessing. Only Diefenbaker had noted his presence, but he seemed to sense Fraser’s distress, and curled up on the rug by the bed, watching him worriedly. Fraser spent a long time just staring out his window, watching the city go by and picturing an overlay of skyscrapers and automobiles.
He hadn’t known he could hurt so much and still live. But it was too late now. He was back, with no one the wiser that he’d ever been away. His only tangible proof was Ray’s business card, clutched in his hand. It wasn’t until he felt a drop of wetness hit his hand that he realized he was crying. Fraser sank onto the window seat and let the tears fall, silent, mourning the loss of a man that wouldn’t be born for nearly a century.
The change in the sun’s position warned him that he needed to dress for the upcoming dinner. He carefully placed Ray’s card in the hidden compartment before starting his preparations. He was nearly done, having gone through the motions mechanically, when Maggie knocked on the door.
“Really, Ben,” Maggie began as she walked into his quarters. “Sometimes I think you - Ben? What is it, what’s happened?” Her voice was filled with concern. “You look as if someone’s died.”
He fought the urge to laugh at that, sure if he started he’d never stop. “Please, Maggie. Not now.”
The look of worry on her face was too much; Fraser turned away, pretending to check his cravat in the mirror.
She put a hand on his back, and he stiffened involuntarily.
“You don’t have to do this, Ben,” she said. “You could go off on that adventure you’ve always talked about, get away from the city. Honestly, we’ll be fine.”
“You don’t think I should stay?”
“Only if it would make you happy, and we both know it won’t. Father certainly doesn’t know what’s best for you. Ben, don’t make yourself miserable for his sake.”
He laughed humorlessly. “It’s likely I’ll be miserable in any case.”
Maggie shook her head. “What happened to you today? I’ve never seen you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’ve no fight in you, like you’ve given up. Like you’ve got no choice what happens to you.”
“Maybe I’m just tired of fighting.”
“There’s more to it than that. Tell me, Ben,” she pleaded. “We’ve never kept secrets from one another.”
“I don’t mean to be secretive. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” He sighed deeply and moved to look out the window. “I’m not sure I believe it, and I was there.” Maggie walked over to him and hugged him from behind.
“I wish you’d let me in, Ben. Maybe I could help.”
He reached down to clasp her hand, leaning back into the embrace. “I wish you could, Maggie. But there’s no help to be had, I’m afraid.”
She rested her cheek against his back. “Well, whatever you decide, you know I’ll support you. I always have.”
Fraser was silent for a long time. When he finally spoke, she could hear him struggle to maintain his composure. “Thank you, Maggie. You’ve no idea what that means, what it’s always meant, to me.”
Fraser stayed in his room as long as he could, finally making his way down once most of the guests had arrived. He’d expected a pointed look or comment from his father, but apparently Maggie had said something to him, for he only nodded a greeting when their eyes met.
Dinner was even more dreadful than it had been the first time. Fraser tried to make small talk, but it proved nearly impossible. He felt completely numb one moment, then near tears the next. When it came time to dance, he had to excuse himself. The memory of Ray in his arms was too fresh.
***************
Maggie watched him go through the back door, Dief at his heels once he’d made it outside.
Whatever it was he wasn’t telling her, it was obvious to her that it was breaking his heart. She started to follow him when she heard a commotion just outside the front doors.
“You gotta let me in - I’m here to see Benton Fraser. Just tell him I’m here - he won’t care that I don’t have an invite.”
Maggie opened the door to see what the trouble was. The man arguing with the doormen was dressed very strangely, and quite unkempt. From the bag on his back, she assumed he’d been traveling. “Can I help you?”
He looked at her and smiled nervously. “Hey, you’re Maggie, right? Ben told me about you.” Her eyes widened in surprise - she knew she’d remember someone so unusual if Ben had told her about him. How did he know her brother? “Look, I’m Ray Kowalski. I’m a friend of Ben’s, and I’ve come a long way to see him. Could you please tell these goons to let me in?”
She moved closer to the door to get a better look at him. He was dressed in the oddest clothes, and the bag he carried had strange fastenings. Still, there was something about him, despite his decidedly rough appearance, that kept her from dismissing him outright. “You’ve say you’ve come a long way, Mr. Kowalski?”
“Farther than you’d believe,” he replied fervently. The way he said it reminded her of her earlier discussion with Ben. Maggie gestured for the doormen to let Ray in, and ushered him into the foyer.
“Would he be expecting to see you?”
He shook his head. “No way. I’m probably the last person he’d ever expect to see here.”
Intriguing. “But you think he’ll want to see you.”
“I hope so. This was a one-way trip.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Please, Maggie. I need to see Ben, if just for a minute. He can decide if I should stay longer.”
“All right,” she decided with a nod. “But Father’s giving a party, and I’m thinking perhaps your meeting should be a bit more private than that would allow. Show him to my brother’s quarters, if you please,” she told the butler, then turned back to Ray. “I’ll let Ben know you’re here.”
He reached for her hand and shook it enthusiastically, much to her surprise. “Thanks a million, Maggie. Everything Fraser said about you was right on the money.”
She watched him move toward the stairs, and went to find Ben. He was just coming back into the house, and frowned at her approach.
“Did Father send you to make sure I hadn’t run off?”
She shook her head. “No, I came looking for you on my own. I have a question for you, Ben. Who is Ray Kowalski?”
He paled. “How do you know that name?”
“So you do know him.”
“Yes, but there’s no way you could. It’s impossible.”
“Nonsense. And it appears you know him as well. Is he someone you’d want to see, if you could?”
He just stared at her as if he’d lost his ability to comprehend English. “Maggie, what on earth are you talking about?” He stopped and tried again. “Maggie, have you seen Ray Kowalski, and if so, where?”
Maggie nodded, happy to see the life return to her brother’s eyes. “I have, and I sent him to your quarters, brother mine. I thought you two might want to talk privately.” She made a shooing motion. “Go on up while you can. I’ll keep Father busy.”
***************
Fraser couldn’t believe it; it couldn’t be true. Except how else could she have known? He shook himself out of his stunned paralysis.
“Thank you, Maggie, truly!” He kissed her cheek, then ran and took the stairs two at a time, nearly tripping on a rug as he turned a hallway corner too quickly. The near-accident forced him to slow to a walk. Ray was here; it wouldn’t do to kill himself trying to get to him. He got to his door and stopped, taking a deep breath before opening it. Ray was near his desk, looking over his stack of books. He looked up at the sound of the door. “Ben?”
Ray was here. He was really, truly here. “Ray!” he answered, striding over to Ray and pulling him into a bear hug. It was heaven; Fraser had died and gone to heaven. He held on for a long time, then finally pulled back enough to look Ray in the eye.
“You’re here! But - what? How?”
“Oh, you know, nothing big. Packed up some stuff, jumped off a bridge," Ray replied. "I told you I was the adventurous type.”
Fraser smiled at that and pulled Ray to him again. “I can’t believe you’re really here,” he whispered.
“Nowhere I’d rather be. Nowhen either. That’s good with you, right?” he asked, uncertainty threaded through his voice.
Fraser smiled and reached up to caress Ray’s cheek. “You made a leap. I can do no less. I love you, Ray.”
“I love you, Ben.”
“Then we’ll make this work, here and now. It won’t be as easy as your Chicago, but as they say, nothing worth having is easy.”
Ray laughed at that. “Then this must be worth everything, because us finding each other was damn near impossible.”
“It’s certainly worth everything to me,” Fraser replied, and then tilted his head to kiss Ray.
When they pulled apart, Ray grinned. “This is definitely the right kind of adventure. I gotta warn you, though. I probably don’t know much more about 1876 then you did about 2004.”
Fraser reached down to take Ray’s hand in his. “How about I lead, then?” he responded.
Ray smiled widely, and the two of them started dancing to the faint music coming from downstairs.