Lovefool (dS kinkmeme fic)
Title: Lovefool
Pairing: F/K
Rating: NC-17 (kinkmemes make me write pr0n!)
Words: 2181
Written for plotbunniofdoom’s prompt on ds_kinkmeme: Ray is suffering from amnesia and assumes from their chemistry that he and Fraser are together. Fraser has never been more tempted to take advantage of someone.
Title from the Cardigans song of the same name. Thank you to exbex for the beta!
“Man, am I glad to be out of the hospital,” Ray said as walked into his apartment. “Thanks again for vouching for me.” He rubbed the back of his head, wincing when he hit the bandage. “Don’t have to remember being in one to know I don’t like them.”
“It does seem that a dislike of hospitals is a universal feeling,” Fraser agreed as he juggled the items in his hands around so that he could hang his Stetson on the hook by the door. “I’ll just get these put away,” he went on as he rearranged the gun and holster again. “You go ahead and sit down.”
Ray nodded, and Fraser went to Ray’s room to lay the holster on the dresser and store the gun in the safe. Satisfied that all was where it should be, he started toward the kitchen.
“What would you like to drink with your medication?” he asked Ray, taking the pill bottles out of his belt pouch. “And don’t say coffee, please,” he went on as he opened the refrigerator. “You need your rest. Your current choices are -” he frowned as he saw what little Ray had. “Coke, which I would also ask you not drink, orange juice that looks relatively safe, and milk.” He picked up the carton and rolled his eyes at the date. “Never mind that last - you still haven’t replaced the one I told you about last week. I’m surprised it hasn’t left on its own.” Fraser placed the carton on the counter to empty later. “You also have water, of course, and there’s tea.”
“Water’s fine,” Ray called back, and Fraser got them each a glass. He handed Ray his, along with two of the pills, then went back to get his own drink from the kitchen.
Fraser stopped at the edge of the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
Ray shrugged. “I could eat, I guess. Can’t remember the last time I had anything.” He grinned at that, and Fraser tried to smile at the joke. If Ray could make light of his situation, Fraser should try to go along with it. And after all, he’d had a bout of temporary amnesia himself, and obviously he was fine now. Surely it would be the same for Ray.
“I’ll get the take-out menus then, see what sounds good.” He went to the counter and moved aside a small stack of bills and a couple of newspapers to pull them out, and went to sit next to Ray, who was watching him speculatively.
Not knowing what to make of the look, Fraser started flipping through the menus, putting some aside. “I wouldn’t suggest anything too spicy or heavy, since pain medication tends to make you a little queasy,” he explained. He stopped at a Chinese menu. “This should have a good variety of choices,” he started, turning toward Ray. He stopped when he realized that Ray was close. Very close, and moving closer, his gaze fixed on Fraser’s mouth.
Fraser felt himself flush, and met Ray’s gaze; he was suddenly unable to speak, caught by the mixture of heat and uncertainty. Before he could say or do anything, Ray leaned in the rest of the way and kissed Fraser.
When Fraser, stunned by the turn of events, didn’t respond, Ray pulled back. “This is okay, right?” Ray asked, his voice nearly a whisper. “I mean, we do this.”
Fraser knew he should stop Ray. That he should say something. But he couldn’t help himself. He cleared his throat to speak. “Yes. That is, it’s okay.”
“Greatness,” Ray grinned. “Because I may not remember who I am, but I’m pretty sure I know endorphins are better for pain than any med. C’mere and jog my memory.” Ray’s eyes darkened, and Fraser was lost.
This time when Ray moved toward him, Fraser met him halfway. He knew it was wrong, that Ray might hate him for it when his memory returned, but he’d wanted Ray for so long. To have this chance, even under such questionable circumstances, was too tempting an offer to refuse.
Ray’s mouth on his felt like heaven. His coarse stubble scratched at Fraser’s face in just the right way. Fraser opened his mouth and flicked out the tip of his tongue, and Ray’s response was immediate. His mouth opened and Fraser licked his way inside, and he shifted closer to Ray, twisting his body so he could lean Ray back against the arm of the couch.
Ray must have figured out what he was doing; he let Fraser maneuver him until they were situated just right, Ray under Fraser, his hands sliding up Fraser’s arms to his neck, his chest, stroking him and pulling him even closer. Fraser kissed his way down Ray’s throat, licking and nipping at the soft skin. He must have hit a sensitive spot; Ray suddenly pulled him down, thrusting up simultaneously, letting Fraser feel the hard length of him against his leg. Fraser gasped and thrust back for a moment, then the reality of what they were doing, what he was letting happen, hit him and he pulled back, sitting up on the opposite side of the couch as quickly as he could.
Ray sat up too, confusion clouding his features. He reached a tentative hand to Fraser’s and tried to pull him closer, but Fraser wouldn’t let himself be moved. Ray’s frown deepened and he scooted closer. “Hey, what just happened?” he asked gently.
Fraser couldn’t bring himself to look at Ray; he kept his gaze locked on the floor, and carefully extricated his hand from Ray’s. “We shouldn’t do this.”
“If this is because of my head, I can promise you I was feeling no pain.”
Fraser shook his head. “It isn’t that. Or to be more precise, it’s exactly that, but not for the reason you think.”
“Either that made no sense, or I have a head injury,” Ray teased.
Fraser just shook his head. “I shouldn’t have let things get this far.”
Ray nudged him with his shoulder. “Takes two to tango, buddy. And I’m pretty sure I made the first move.”
Fraser finally looked at Ray then. Perhaps, since he stopped before things had gone too far, Ray would be more understanding. “Only because I led you to believe you should.”
Ray looked genuinely puzzled at that. “Why wouldn’t you? I may not remember who I am, but it’s obvious that you and I are together. You knew all my insurance stuff at the hospital, and I heard you tell them you’d stayed at my place before.” He waved his arms to indicate the apartment. “You know where all my stuff is here… you can get into my gun safe, for crying out loud! So unless we had some wicked fight and I’m supposed to be mad at you, I don’t see the problem.”
That explained it, then. Ray had misinterpreted their closeness, and Fraser had taken advantage. “Of course you don’t - you aren’t yourself. If you were-”
When he didn’t go on, Ray prodded. “If I were, what?”
“If you were, you wouldn’t want me, This.” He stood quickly. “I shouldn’t be here. I’ll call someone else to check on you. Francesca might be willing - she’s supposed to be your sister, after all.” He started toward the phone. “I can just call her.”
Ray stood quickly and blocked Fraser’s way. “What do you mean, I wouldn’t want you?”
Fraser rubbed an eyebrow as he answered. “You’ve never expressed an interest in me before, as anything but a friend and working partner.”
He tried to look away, but Ray caught his gaze and held it. “Then why’d you say we did stuff before?”
“I didn’t,” Fraser protested, then had to admit, “though I did answer you in a way that would make it sound as if we did.”
Ray crossed his arms. “Why? Why would you do that?”
Fraser realized he might as well tell Ray everything; it couldn’t be more damaging than what he’d already done. “Because I wanted you. I’ve wanted you for ages, and you’ve never noticed. It was a moment of weakness.”
“And you figured we do this now, and I’d be okay with it once I get my memory back? Is that the kind of guy I am, Fraser?”
“No,” Fraser responded immediately. “Of course it isn’t. But God help me, for a few minutes I didn’t care.” He turned away and started for the door. Ray’s hand on his arm stopped him, and he let himself be turned back around to face Ray.
“You want me that bad.”
It was a statement, but Fraser felt compelled to answer. “Yes. I have for some time.”
Ray looked at him intently, and Fraser tried his best to bear the scrutiny. Then Ray suddenly relaxed, and moved to sit back on the couch. “Okay,” he said, spreading his arms and legs wide. “So get over here and fuck me, then.”
Fraser’s mouth went dry, and even though he cleared his throat, his answer still came out as a hoarse whisper. “I can’t.”
Ray quirked an eyebrow at him. “Because of what - I’m not of sound mind?” Didn’t seem to bother you a minute ago.” He leaned forward on the couch. “Look, I know now, and I’m telling you it’s good, it’s okay. It’s what I want.”
Fraser took an involuntary step forward. “What if you don’t want it later?” he forced himself to ask.
“Then I’m a moron,” Ray replied with a quick grin, then his eyes darkened, and his next words came out as a growl. “Get your ass over here. Now.”
Fraser didn’t have to be told twice. He moved to the couch, and as soon as he was within arm’s reach, Ray pulled him down and on top of him. “Now, where were we again?” he asked, lust and amusement glittering in his eyes. “Oh, yeah, about here.” And he leaned up to kiss Fraser.
Fraser immediately gave himself over to the kiss, opening his mouth to deepen it as he pressed Ray down into the couch. This time, when he felt Ray’s erection against his leg, Fraser pushed against it, then rocked down to rub his own hardness against Ray’s hip.
This is wrong, part of Fraser still protested. Ray still isn’t himself. This time, he didn’t listen, just kept kissing Ray, until he had to pull away with a gasp as they moved together in delicious counterpoint. Ray leaned his head back and groaned deeply, and Fraser took advantage of the angle to lick a broad stripe up Ray’s neck, then nipped gently at his Adam’s apple. Ray thrust up with a jerk and pushed Fraser up and off him. Before Fraser could protest or panic, Ray was yanking at their clothes, trying to undo the fastenings on Fraser’s uniform.
Fraser stopped Ray’s hands and moved them to his own clothes. “It’ll be faster if we do the ones we know,” he explained as he lifted himself off Ray with some reluctance.
Ray nodded and slid out from under Fraser, pulling his shirt carefully over his head, then, moving to unbutton his jeans. Fraser made short work of his jacket, shirt and boots, but hadn’t quite gotten to the pants when Ray’s hands joined his. “Need any help with that?” he asked with a wicked grin, letting his hand trail down and stop on Fraser’s erection. Fraser pushed Ray’s hand away, glaring as Ray chuckled, and then finally, finally he was naked. They were naked. Fraser tried to take the time to appreciate the view he’d wanted to see for what seemed like forever, but need won out and he nearly pounced Ray, who met him with equal fervor.
And God, it was glorious, Ray’s skin against his, warm and rough and hard muscle. Fraser’s nipples brushed against the sparse hair on Ray’s chest and Fraser couldn’t help but moan with pleasure. Ray’s hands were everywhere - Fraser’s back, his chest, his neck - constantly moving, rubbing, tweaking. Fraser lifted himself up just enough to look Ray in the eye, and the hands stilled, resting on his back, as Fraser took a deep breath, shifted to line them up, and gave a slow, deliberate thrust that felt like nothing Fraser had ever experienced. Ray’s eyes fluttered closed for a second; when they opened again he locked eyes with Fraser and thrust back, the two of them finding their rhythm like they’d been doing this forever.
It didn’t take long for the intensity to build, and all too soon Fraser felt his climax approach. He thrust harder, faster, trying to take Ray with him, then came hard, Ray following suit a few thrusts later.
“Okay,” Ray said, still trying to catch his breath. “So I believe you now that that was our first time. No way could I have forgotten something like that.”
Fraser lifted his head off of Ray’s shoulder to give him a long kiss, and held on to the hope that it wouldn’t be their last.
Pairing: F/K
Rating: NC-17 (kinkmemes make me write pr0n!)
Words: 2181
Written for plotbunniofdoom’s prompt on ds_kinkmeme: Ray is suffering from amnesia and assumes from their chemistry that he and Fraser are together. Fraser has never been more tempted to take advantage of someone.
Title from the Cardigans song of the same name. Thank you to exbex for the beta!
“Man, am I glad to be out of the hospital,” Ray said as walked into his apartment. “Thanks again for vouching for me.” He rubbed the back of his head, wincing when he hit the bandage. “Don’t have to remember being in one to know I don’t like them.”
“It does seem that a dislike of hospitals is a universal feeling,” Fraser agreed as he juggled the items in his hands around so that he could hang his Stetson on the hook by the door. “I’ll just get these put away,” he went on as he rearranged the gun and holster again. “You go ahead and sit down.”
Ray nodded, and Fraser went to Ray’s room to lay the holster on the dresser and store the gun in the safe. Satisfied that all was where it should be, he started toward the kitchen.
“What would you like to drink with your medication?” he asked Ray, taking the pill bottles out of his belt pouch. “And don’t say coffee, please,” he went on as he opened the refrigerator. “You need your rest. Your current choices are -” he frowned as he saw what little Ray had. “Coke, which I would also ask you not drink, orange juice that looks relatively safe, and milk.” He picked up the carton and rolled his eyes at the date. “Never mind that last - you still haven’t replaced the one I told you about last week. I’m surprised it hasn’t left on its own.” Fraser placed the carton on the counter to empty later. “You also have water, of course, and there’s tea.”
“Water’s fine,” Ray called back, and Fraser got them each a glass. He handed Ray his, along with two of the pills, then went back to get his own drink from the kitchen.
Fraser stopped at the edge of the kitchen. “Are you hungry?”
Ray shrugged. “I could eat, I guess. Can’t remember the last time I had anything.” He grinned at that, and Fraser tried to smile at the joke. If Ray could make light of his situation, Fraser should try to go along with it. And after all, he’d had a bout of temporary amnesia himself, and obviously he was fine now. Surely it would be the same for Ray.
“I’ll get the take-out menus then, see what sounds good.” He went to the counter and moved aside a small stack of bills and a couple of newspapers to pull them out, and went to sit next to Ray, who was watching him speculatively.
Not knowing what to make of the look, Fraser started flipping through the menus, putting some aside. “I wouldn’t suggest anything too spicy or heavy, since pain medication tends to make you a little queasy,” he explained. He stopped at a Chinese menu. “This should have a good variety of choices,” he started, turning toward Ray. He stopped when he realized that Ray was close. Very close, and moving closer, his gaze fixed on Fraser’s mouth.
Fraser felt himself flush, and met Ray’s gaze; he was suddenly unable to speak, caught by the mixture of heat and uncertainty. Before he could say or do anything, Ray leaned in the rest of the way and kissed Fraser.
When Fraser, stunned by the turn of events, didn’t respond, Ray pulled back. “This is okay, right?” Ray asked, his voice nearly a whisper. “I mean, we do this.”
Fraser knew he should stop Ray. That he should say something. But he couldn’t help himself. He cleared his throat to speak. “Yes. That is, it’s okay.”
“Greatness,” Ray grinned. “Because I may not remember who I am, but I’m pretty sure I know endorphins are better for pain than any med. C’mere and jog my memory.” Ray’s eyes darkened, and Fraser was lost.
This time when Ray moved toward him, Fraser met him halfway. He knew it was wrong, that Ray might hate him for it when his memory returned, but he’d wanted Ray for so long. To have this chance, even under such questionable circumstances, was too tempting an offer to refuse.
Ray’s mouth on his felt like heaven. His coarse stubble scratched at Fraser’s face in just the right way. Fraser opened his mouth and flicked out the tip of his tongue, and Ray’s response was immediate. His mouth opened and Fraser licked his way inside, and he shifted closer to Ray, twisting his body so he could lean Ray back against the arm of the couch.
Ray must have figured out what he was doing; he let Fraser maneuver him until they were situated just right, Ray under Fraser, his hands sliding up Fraser’s arms to his neck, his chest, stroking him and pulling him even closer. Fraser kissed his way down Ray’s throat, licking and nipping at the soft skin. He must have hit a sensitive spot; Ray suddenly pulled him down, thrusting up simultaneously, letting Fraser feel the hard length of him against his leg. Fraser gasped and thrust back for a moment, then the reality of what they were doing, what he was letting happen, hit him and he pulled back, sitting up on the opposite side of the couch as quickly as he could.
Ray sat up too, confusion clouding his features. He reached a tentative hand to Fraser’s and tried to pull him closer, but Fraser wouldn’t let himself be moved. Ray’s frown deepened and he scooted closer. “Hey, what just happened?” he asked gently.
Fraser couldn’t bring himself to look at Ray; he kept his gaze locked on the floor, and carefully extricated his hand from Ray’s. “We shouldn’t do this.”
“If this is because of my head, I can promise you I was feeling no pain.”
Fraser shook his head. “It isn’t that. Or to be more precise, it’s exactly that, but not for the reason you think.”
“Either that made no sense, or I have a head injury,” Ray teased.
Fraser just shook his head. “I shouldn’t have let things get this far.”
Ray nudged him with his shoulder. “Takes two to tango, buddy. And I’m pretty sure I made the first move.”
Fraser finally looked at Ray then. Perhaps, since he stopped before things had gone too far, Ray would be more understanding. “Only because I led you to believe you should.”
Ray looked genuinely puzzled at that. “Why wouldn’t you? I may not remember who I am, but it’s obvious that you and I are together. You knew all my insurance stuff at the hospital, and I heard you tell them you’d stayed at my place before.” He waved his arms to indicate the apartment. “You know where all my stuff is here… you can get into my gun safe, for crying out loud! So unless we had some wicked fight and I’m supposed to be mad at you, I don’t see the problem.”
That explained it, then. Ray had misinterpreted their closeness, and Fraser had taken advantage. “Of course you don’t - you aren’t yourself. If you were-”
When he didn’t go on, Ray prodded. “If I were, what?”
“If you were, you wouldn’t want me, This.” He stood quickly. “I shouldn’t be here. I’ll call someone else to check on you. Francesca might be willing - she’s supposed to be your sister, after all.” He started toward the phone. “I can just call her.”
Ray stood quickly and blocked Fraser’s way. “What do you mean, I wouldn’t want you?”
Fraser rubbed an eyebrow as he answered. “You’ve never expressed an interest in me before, as anything but a friend and working partner.”
He tried to look away, but Ray caught his gaze and held it. “Then why’d you say we did stuff before?”
“I didn’t,” Fraser protested, then had to admit, “though I did answer you in a way that would make it sound as if we did.”
Ray crossed his arms. “Why? Why would you do that?”
Fraser realized he might as well tell Ray everything; it couldn’t be more damaging than what he’d already done. “Because I wanted you. I’ve wanted you for ages, and you’ve never noticed. It was a moment of weakness.”
“And you figured we do this now, and I’d be okay with it once I get my memory back? Is that the kind of guy I am, Fraser?”
“No,” Fraser responded immediately. “Of course it isn’t. But God help me, for a few minutes I didn’t care.” He turned away and started for the door. Ray’s hand on his arm stopped him, and he let himself be turned back around to face Ray.
“You want me that bad.”
It was a statement, but Fraser felt compelled to answer. “Yes. I have for some time.”
Ray looked at him intently, and Fraser tried his best to bear the scrutiny. Then Ray suddenly relaxed, and moved to sit back on the couch. “Okay,” he said, spreading his arms and legs wide. “So get over here and fuck me, then.”
Fraser’s mouth went dry, and even though he cleared his throat, his answer still came out as a hoarse whisper. “I can’t.”
Ray quirked an eyebrow at him. “Because of what - I’m not of sound mind?” Didn’t seem to bother you a minute ago.” He leaned forward on the couch. “Look, I know now, and I’m telling you it’s good, it’s okay. It’s what I want.”
Fraser took an involuntary step forward. “What if you don’t want it later?” he forced himself to ask.
“Then I’m a moron,” Ray replied with a quick grin, then his eyes darkened, and his next words came out as a growl. “Get your ass over here. Now.”
Fraser didn’t have to be told twice. He moved to the couch, and as soon as he was within arm’s reach, Ray pulled him down and on top of him. “Now, where were we again?” he asked, lust and amusement glittering in his eyes. “Oh, yeah, about here.” And he leaned up to kiss Fraser.
Fraser immediately gave himself over to the kiss, opening his mouth to deepen it as he pressed Ray down into the couch. This time, when he felt Ray’s erection against his leg, Fraser pushed against it, then rocked down to rub his own hardness against Ray’s hip.
This is wrong, part of Fraser still protested. Ray still isn’t himself. This time, he didn’t listen, just kept kissing Ray, until he had to pull away with a gasp as they moved together in delicious counterpoint. Ray leaned his head back and groaned deeply, and Fraser took advantage of the angle to lick a broad stripe up Ray’s neck, then nipped gently at his Adam’s apple. Ray thrust up with a jerk and pushed Fraser up and off him. Before Fraser could protest or panic, Ray was yanking at their clothes, trying to undo the fastenings on Fraser’s uniform.
Fraser stopped Ray’s hands and moved them to his own clothes. “It’ll be faster if we do the ones we know,” he explained as he lifted himself off Ray with some reluctance.
Ray nodded and slid out from under Fraser, pulling his shirt carefully over his head, then, moving to unbutton his jeans. Fraser made short work of his jacket, shirt and boots, but hadn’t quite gotten to the pants when Ray’s hands joined his. “Need any help with that?” he asked with a wicked grin, letting his hand trail down and stop on Fraser’s erection. Fraser pushed Ray’s hand away, glaring as Ray chuckled, and then finally, finally he was naked. They were naked. Fraser tried to take the time to appreciate the view he’d wanted to see for what seemed like forever, but need won out and he nearly pounced Ray, who met him with equal fervor.
And God, it was glorious, Ray’s skin against his, warm and rough and hard muscle. Fraser’s nipples brushed against the sparse hair on Ray’s chest and Fraser couldn’t help but moan with pleasure. Ray’s hands were everywhere - Fraser’s back, his chest, his neck - constantly moving, rubbing, tweaking. Fraser lifted himself up just enough to look Ray in the eye, and the hands stilled, resting on his back, as Fraser took a deep breath, shifted to line them up, and gave a slow, deliberate thrust that felt like nothing Fraser had ever experienced. Ray’s eyes fluttered closed for a second; when they opened again he locked eyes with Fraser and thrust back, the two of them finding their rhythm like they’d been doing this forever.
It didn’t take long for the intensity to build, and all too soon Fraser felt his climax approach. He thrust harder, faster, trying to take Ray with him, then came hard, Ray following suit a few thrusts later.
“Okay,” Ray said, still trying to catch his breath. “So I believe you now that that was our first time. No way could I have forgotten something like that.”
Fraser lifted his head off of Ray’s shoulder to give him a long kiss, and held on to the hope that it wouldn’t be their last.