Is your poetry being messed with by classes? I've been taking class and it makes everything a little more contrived, but it gives me practice trying things on, so I try to take the good with the bad... I like this poem - I'll acknowledge that you usually use more imagery than this, but the conversation is interesting, and it ends with amazing images.
Yea, I understand what you mean. But actually I just decided I was tired of writing distinct beautiful imagery. After reading Robert Creeley, Frank O' Hara and James Schuyler I wanted to experiment with poetry as an immediate observation and a surreal image. So the poem is just one prolonged image of an almost Sartrean hell where two people are imprisoned and one confuses setting the clock back with setting life back too, and you can analyze that situation however you want.
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I like this poem - I'll acknowledge that you usually use more imagery than this, but the conversation is interesting, and it ends with amazing images.
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