[Fanfic] The Sun Does Come Out Tomorrow
Title: The Sun Does Come Out Tomorrow
Genre: angst/general/slashish-friendship
Pairing(s): Travis/Wes
Rating/Warnings: T mentions of child abuse
Summary: The sequel to It Was a Hard Enough Life. Wes tackles a dark part of his past and finds the aftermath both horrible and happy.
AN: More Common Law for everyone...I got it out.
Five minutes in reality is not all that long, but it’s not overly short either. Five wasn’t that big of a number and a minute wasn’t considered long. It was a twelfth of an hour, or three hundred little increments of time. Wes shook his head; numbers weren’t going to help him. However it was all he could think about in the elevator. The math was calming him and freaking him out, it wasn’t the right way to be thinking.
Then again he never did anything like this; he always hoped he never would feel the need to. However the moment the call came over the radio, he blanked out. He came back when Travis pounded his bullet proof vest into his chest with a sharp comment of “stop shaking.”
Wes didn’t realize it, but he was shaking slightly, both earlier and now, just enough for someone to notice if they were close. He calmed himself with a breath as the elevator dinged on the right floor, there was no room for second thoughts to start. The moment he appeared in the window his five minutes would start. His 300 seconds would dwindle away. He had to do this, more for himself then what anyone else was thinking.
A uniform touched his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly. He had forgotten some of them were on the floor. The man guided him through to the door. He left it for Wes to open. Wes took a moment, taking a deep breath. Wes wasn’t the people’s person or the kids’ person either. He wasn’t anything but a robbery/homicide detective who was an ex-lawyer. Nowhere in that description really screamed people’s person. However his childhood was screaming at him for this.
Easing the door open, Wes stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He didn’t want anyone to enter, at least not till after his five minutes were over. He worked his way through the apartment and into the bedroom with the open window. Swallowing loudly, he went to the window, popping his head out and turning to the child on the ledge.
It was like staring at his twelve year old self. The boy looked at him, and twelve year old Wes vanish, and it was the brown haired boy on the ledge who Wes had conversation with earlier. He smiled slightly, waving awkwardly, and running his tongue over his lips when he noticed the gun in the boy’s hand. Five minutes, was starting to sound like not a lot of time.
Wes pulled his head out the window and worked his leg out onto the small ledge. He can only imagine how many people were questioning his actions. He was a good climber though, he climbed down a hotel balcony in a case, he was sure he wouldn’t topple over the ledge that easily. Once he rested on the ledge he worked his way towards the boy who was watching him curiously. Wes sat beside him and let out a breath; he never realized how high up it was till he looked down and saw everyone below. He immediately pressed his back against the wall.
“This is high.” He commented with a nervous breath of a laugh.
“You know most people would talk to me from the window.” The boy said pointing with his left hand, his right still gripping the gun tightly.
“That’s true,” Wes admitted with a nod, and he wasn’t exactly thinking straight. “Most suicide jumpers don’t have a gun.” The boy looked at it, looking it over. “You know, I know what it’s like.” Wes said, looking down at his hands and then back towards the window. His admitting his past to a stranger, but he found some comfort in was in a kindred soul. “I know what it’s like to want to end it all, to not exist.”
“You do?” The boy questioned with a raised eyebrow, Wes could only nod in response.
“You’re mom calls you a mistake, and her step-father completely ignores you, right?” Wes said, turning to the kid, who nodded slowly. “I’m a mistake too.” Wes said pointing to himself and swinging his legs a bit. “I screwed up my parent’s lives, and I’ve held a gun to my head before.” He wondered if he should say there were no bullets. His aunt had a gun in her nightstand, but it was only for show.
The boy was looking at him in shock. Wes smiled because he doesn’t look like the type of person to do that, and he never well because he doesn’t let himself. He buried his past so deep that the police hardly had anything about him till high school.
“You’re still here though.” The boy said with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Wes said slowly, “I am. I never could pull the trigger.”
“Were you afraid of death?” The boy asked, his fear spiking at the word.
“Everyone is scared of death,” Wes said easily, holding out his hand for the gun, and the boy gave it to him hesitantly. He shrugged as he placed the gun on his left side. “However, does the brave person jump, or walk away?” He paused for a second. “Wow, that’s something a therapist would say. I hate therapists.” The boy chuckled beside him, he smiled back.
A silence sat on them for a while. The two kindred souls just sitting there dangling their legs over their edge. It was sickly therapeutic. Wes motioned to the boy for them to get off the ledge. The boy took his hand and the two of them worked their way back to the window. The crowd below cheered, as Wes helped the boy enter the apartment through the window, just second before Travis comes bursting through the door with some officers.
Wes didn’t realize it at the time, but he was beaming like an idiot and that was half the reason Travis hugged him.
---- ---- ----
Wes’ graduation party wasn’t exactly a party. His grandparents hadn’t wanted much to do with his little family since he was born and everyone gave up on their dreams. His aunt gave him twenty dollars in a card that was for a different occasion. In fact the only people there were his mother and him, and that was alright with them.
They sat in a rather nice restaurant, eating and conversing in a manner that seemed more like distant family members rather than actual mother and son. It was enough though. They had agreed not to force it too much. It had only been two years of them fixing Wes’ crappy childhood as best they could. Their roles came naturally, but it didn’t seem that way. His mother was careful with what she said and so was Wes, the smallest words could set the other off.
“So college…” His mother said weirdly, with a guilty look on her face. They had celebrated his showering of acceptance letters to colleges all over the country. However, it wasn’t the jumping up for joy kind of celebrating and the tears in his mother’s eyes Wes saw in movies. It was a ‘congrats’ and regrets there was no advice to give.
“Yeah,” Wes nodded, pushing at some vegetables on his plate. “Law school.”
They sort of nod and a silence sat on them. “You’re going to live in the dorms.” Wes nodded, not exactly sure what to say. His college was a ways from home, and he had no means of commute yet, so living there was his only option. He can’t help but feel guilt in the fact that it was a stab in the progress they made. His mother took his hand from across the table, causing him to look up at her. “I’ll miss you Wesley.”
He smiled with genuine ease. “I’ll miss you too, mom.”
It’s true, they will both miss each other. Wes knows his mother won’t cry when she leaves him in a strange place, and he knows they’ll stand around weirdly. Still it was just a phone call away for them to be together. It wasn’t what they needed, but they would make it work.
---- ---- ----
“I’d thought you’d have gone home by now.” Wes said looking down at his watch and cringing a bit at the time. It was nine-thirty, not the latest they had stayed in to work, but it was still late. “It’s getting late.”
Travis let out a laugh as he walked over to the coffee machine were Wes was standing. Wes watched as Travis passed him, making a bee line for the sink. Travis dumped the liquid in the mug he was holding, it was most likely old cold coffee Travis couldn’t bring himself to finish. Much to Wes’ annoyance though he didn’t rinse it out, just sort of shook it.
“Hey, what kind of partner would I be if I left you alone with the police shrink.” Travis said putting his mug on the counter before he leaned on it.
“You did leave me alone with the police psychiatrist.” Wes said, though technically Travis would never have been allowed to come in even if he tried.
Travis waved his hand at the correction. “You know what I mean.” Travis snapped, his face causing Wes to chuckle into his coffee.
He really wasn’t sure if he knew what Travis meant, but it was nice to have him there to talk to after the session. Travis was the only one who knew why Wes had practically begged to go up and talk with the kid on the ledge. Travis knew enough about Wes to know why he did the weird things he did without having to question him too much.
Wes found it nice to have Travis knowing, he had always feared people would treat him differently if they knew his childhood. He had feared people would choose their words carefully around him, or be paranoid he would get offended too quickly. However, Travis continued to be Travis, sure he was slightly softer, but he wasn’t afraid of slamming Wes with a slur.
He remembered when he thought he would tell Alex about his past. She had finished a child abuse case, and the fury at the parents, or any parent who abused their child in any sort of way, was too much for him to chance. She had adored his mother, and Wes didn’t want his mother to feel any worse for her mistake. He never could bring himself to ruin the relationship between them.
“So did you tell him?” Travis said breaking the silence.
Wes jumped from his thinking, turning to Travis who was looking at him with question. Shaking his head, Wes chuckled, “No. I don’t need people thinking I have issues.”
“You do have issues.” Travis said with a grin as Wes glared at him before rolling his eyes. Travis grin grew more and he raised an eyebrow. “So I’m still the only one who knows?”
“Yes Travis.” Wes said looking at him and the other enjoyed the fact.
Wes smiled, finishing the last of his coffee and walking over to the sink. He rinsed out his cup, pulling out a few paper towels to dry it off. He tossed them in the trash when he was done with them. He turned to look at Travis, to see the darker man watching him with the simplest of smiles on his lips. It was the smile Travis gave to kids or animals, not to girls he found cute or when he cracked a joke. For some reason Wes liked it being directed at him.
“Thank you,” Wes found himself saying suddenly, leaning on the counter beside Travis. “Thank you…for letting me help that boy.” He looked down at his shoes, there was a lot of things he wanted to thank Travis for.
“No problem, but don’t freak me out by climbing through the window and sitting on a ledge swing your legs like some crazy.” Travis snapped with a bit of a laugh, causing Wes to smile.
Suddenly, Wes was moving without thinking. His hands cupping Wes’ cheeks, and his lips coming to rest lightly on Travis. Wes didn’t know exactly where in the world such an action come from, but it felt familiar like it had been there for a while. He felt Travis stiffen at his touch, but he didn’t push Wes a way, so that was a good thing. However, he proceeded to not do anything in return after a few seconds and Wes recoiled.
In a flash, he grabbed his mug and hurried out of the break room and to his desk. He grabbed his things as fast as he could and scribbled a “Sorry” on a post-it note and hurried out of the precinct and towards home.
He just screwed up the best relationship he had with anyone.
---- ---- ----
“This case is horrible.” Alex said with a sigh as she flipped through some statements.
Wes would agree it was horrible, but it could be worse. Physical abuse seemed so much easier to deal with, the body healed, but what did he know, no one hit him as child. They slammed him with slurs and ground at his sanity, but no one hurt him physically till he was sixteen. At age nine he understood how much his very existence did to his parents; at twelve he had been suicidal. He was mentally and emotionally abused, no physical scars, just a sort of haunting.
“Case’s like this usually are.” Wes said turning the page of the law book he was skimming over.
“I don’t get it.” Alex said suddenly, causing Wes to look up at her with a sound. “Jefferson offered you this case to put your name out there, and you refused, yet you’re helping me work so hard on it.”
Wes snorted, he had turned down the case because it just took the wrong combinations of words and Wes would have been thrown out of court. “I don’t do child abuse cases.” Wes said, “I don’t want to specialize in them. Besides my name is already out there.”
Alex looked at him for a moment. “Were you abused as a child?” She questioned and Wes looked at her like a deer in head lights, feeling a flicker of outrage.
“No, why do ask?” Wes lied so easily.
“I don’t know, just, I think you would be a good lawyer for the kids.” She smiled, reaching across to grab his hand. She gave it a light squeeze. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Wes said honestly and he did. They went back to work after a beat of silence and smiles.
Alex was the first woman he loved outside of the family he was supposed to. She was truly his first love, but he will never tell her that. Not now, maybe when they were older, far into the future. His mother told him he’ll always, in a way, be in love with her no matter where they go in life. Still he can’t help but wonder if he’ll tell her about his childhood.
---- ---- ----
Wes called into work sick the next morning. After assuring the chief that he wasn’t going to do anything self-harming and he actually truthfully wasn’t feeling well for a good ten minutes, he got two days off. Wes had learned how to play a good food poisoning impression from Travis. A cops diet wasn’t always home cooked and there was always the possibility. Still Wes only knows that he just bought himself two days to of avoiding Travis with a sick excuse. There still needed to be more.
Maybe Wes should just ask for a transfer somewhere else. Somewhere like Seattle, or Las Vegas. Hell he would take New York, or Miami, it was all the way on the other side of the country. Travis might not attempt to follow him if Wes went to the other coast. It would be better for everyone. There would be miles between him and Alex. Miles between him and his old life. Miles between him and Travis.
He buried his face in his pillow and pulled the blankets of the bed over his head. Why in the world did he kiss Travis? It was like an impulse he had been dying to do. Actually thinking about it, he had wanted to kiss Travis before. It was before things started following apart between them. Wes had ruined it because he knew he couldn’t act on his sudden feelings so he destroyed their relationship because of that fact. Now he could act on them, out of the blue, and he just ruined it all.
He groaned into his pillow. He wasn’t the type of person to waste a day in bed, but there wasn’t much he felt he could do. He hadn’t even gotten out of bed to change or shower, he wasn’t up for it. He turned on his side and sighed. He wasn’t tried, and he didn’t feel like flicking on the TV, and calling and texting someone was out of the question. So he laid there like a blob, thinking.
Sometime during the day he fell asleep, however. It was his only explanation as to way he woke up with a jolt to a loud banging on his door, and a song he never remembered owning playing from his computer. He also didn’t remember it being two in the afternoon. He groaned and shifted in the bed. He didn’t feel like getting up to even think about answer the door. The knocking continued for about a minute before it stopped abruptly
Wes peeked his head out of the covers, looking in the general direction of his suite room door. Usually someone would yell after that amount of knocking. He shrugged it off, figuring he should at least get up and use the restroom and brush his teeth.
He was finishing swishing the mouth wash around in his mouth when he heard his door opened, and a call of “Wes?!” in Travis’ voice. Wes nearly choked on the mouth wash, and spit it out quickly. “Hey, Wes, you in here?! Chief wanted me to check on ya.”
Wes slammed the bathroom door close loudly, and he heard Travis come thundering towards the door and he instantly locked it. Travis rattled the door and Wes smiled at the fact that he managed to lock the door in time so he didn’t have to face Travis. Of course, it dawned on him quickly that he had locked himself in a bathroom to avoid Travis who had the whole hotel room.
“Damn it, Wes, open the door!” Travis shouted pounding and rattling at the door. Wes didn’t say anything reply, hoping Travis would go away and leave him alone. “Open the door!” Travis shouted and Wes’ eyes widened, Travis was going full blown cop on him.
That meant the door and Travis’ foot were about to meet. “Don’t kick the door down, Travis!” Wes shouted back.
“Open the door Wes!” Travis shot back with ease.
Wes bit his lip. The door was going to be open by either force or surrender. Wes didn’t want it to open through either method, but Travis did, and there was no stopping Travis when he really wanted something. He didn’t seem to respond in the amount of time that was reasonable for his partner. The door rattled with a beat and force that Wes knew was Travis foot kicking the door.
“Travis! Stop fucking kicking the door!” Wes shouted rushing to the door. “I’ll unlock it.”
Flicking the lock back, Wes stumbled away from the door as the kicking came to a stop. The door flew up with the creek of the door handle. Travis is in the door way looking at him with some anger on his face. He stormed towards Wes who backed away until he was up against the wall.
“You!” Travis said as he drew forever closer, jabbing his finger in the air at Wes. Wes gulped, his father flashing briefly in front of him, but then it was back to Travis. The Travis who knew about his past and almost everything about him, he probably figured Wes was use to some charging at him like this. “You need to learn to wait and fucking lie better.”
“Wha-”
Before Wes could get anything else out of mouth, Travis had a fistful of Wes’ t-shirt, Wes grabbing at the other’s wrist in defense. Yanking in him closer, Travis was clearly testing the limits of personal space, which for Wes at the moment was both a very big distance and a very small one. Wes let out nothing but a very loud shuttering breath, then Travis’ lips are on his. Wes’ blue eyes widen, but his body relaxed naturally to Travis’ touch.
Pulling away Travis shot him a look. “Don’t go running off with your tail between your fucking legs and leaving shitty apology notes you don’t need to.” Travis said harshly and Wes could only nod in reply, looking at Wes in shock and panting. Travis smiled, “Now I’m going to do that again, and I want you to respond.”
Travis kissed him again and Wes responded quickly. The only question running through his head was: What now? However, that could be answered at a later time.
---- ---- ----
“Mom meet Travis,” Wes said introducing the two in a somewhat weird causal and professional manner. Travis was giving him a raised eyebrow, but he wasn’t commenting. “Travis this is my mother.”
Travis smiled and Wes’ mother mirrored it, taking Travis’ hand as he held it out. “So you’re the Travis,” His mother said with a solid shake. “Make sure he keeps his life.”
“That’s my job, ma’am.” Travis said easily, his smile growing wider.
“Really, because if I remember correctly, I saved you from a bullet earlier this week.” Wes comment wandering a bit more into his mother’s condo.
Travis gave an awkward laugh, but he quickly started up a conversation with his mother again. Wes kept one ear on that, not like his mother would say anything embarrassing about his childhood or show any photos that would be future black mail for Travis. Still he listens. His mother is good with words, and she won’t say anything to give away their lies, but he listens for the slip ups that get to him.
She was good, however, calling him a “happy surprise.” Wes turned to look at the two of them talking, the fight they had had a few weeks before stirred in his mind. They aren’t perfect, but no one really is with their parent, so Wes wasn’t worried if she glances at him with worry about her words. He smiled at the two of them.
“Wesley, when is Alex coming?” His mother asked as she led Travis to sit on the couch and chat more.
“Soon, she got held up at the office, but she’ll be here before dinner.” Wes smiled at her.
She smiled back, clearly getting his silent apology. She turned back and started talking with Travis about his life in foster care, because his mother is a curious creature.
---- ---- ----
Their therapy session wasn’t really a session; it was in all sense of the word a causal party. Travis had somehow convinced Dr. Ryan to let the session be a sort of birthday party for Wes, the other couples didn’t mind. However they oddly all brought a cake, including Dr. Ryan, and Travis admitted he forgotten who was bring the cake and ended up asking them all too. Yet, Wes knew it was Travis attempting to make up for the lack of birthday cakes in Wes’ life.
Each couple gave him little knick knacks, weird little things he imaged Travis wrote in an email. Things along the nature of a nice pen. It was touching in a way that Wes wasn’t overly use to, but he smiled and thanked everyone. They all sort of lingered about for the session, chatting with each other and having a good time it seemed.
No one really talked to him, but he was the asshole of the whole group, he wasn’t expecting, or wanting, people to humor him because it was his birthday. Wes lingered, poking at his cake. He wasn’t exactly a sweets person, but Travis kept shoving a plateful of cake in his hand, and leaving him to eat it. Dr. Ryan took notice of him in the corner watching everyone else.
“You’re not exactly the party goer, I see.” She said with a small smile as she came to stand by his side.
“I’m not a big fan of surprises.” Wes said, but that was already so clear in his personality, it caused Dr. Ryan to chuckle lightly. “Or people celebrating my birthday.”
She turned to him. “Usually people like their birthdays, all the attention is on them for once.”
He snorted, he wasn’t like most people. “I’m not exactly demanding the spotlight.” Wes said turning his eyes to look at Travis who was making the group he was talking to laugh at a joke.
“I know.” Dr. Ryan said with ease. “That’s the kind of person you are Wes. You keep people at an arm’s length, because you don’t want to get hurt, or worse hurt them.” Wes turned back to her with such speed he knew he gave away the fact that she was right. “I’ve watch you, Wes. I can tell you things about you, you’re not ready for yourself to accept.” He stared at her, but she was probably right, it was her job after all. “You have to accept the fact that some people are going to care about you even if you hurt them.”
With that she walked away from him, glancing at her watch and calling for a clean-up. Travis comes trotting over; frowning as Wes hardly touched his cake. In a heartbeat though he was grinning, snatching the plate up and snacking on the piece. Were Travis and him not together, he would have found it odd the man hadn’t gotten a new fork, but Wes didn’t mind now. Clean up didn’t take long and they were out of the session early, filing into Wes’ car to finish some work at the station.
Travis grabbed his hand from the transmission and interlocking their fingers. “Did you like your party?” He asked with a smile.
“You know I don’t like surprises.” Wes comments sternly
“I know, but it’s cute to see you all flustered.” Travis said with a dashing smile, which never failed to make Wes blush. “Besides, it’s your birthday.”
Wes could only look at Travis. He sighed; Travis liked the idea of soiling him. “You didn’t get me a present did you?” Wes asked annoyed, hoping Travis hadn’t spent money on him, they might be secretly dating, but Wes doesn’t feel the need to get a present from Travis.
The other smiled, pulling Wes’ hand to his lips and placing a light kiss on the back of it. “Maybe,” he said devilishly as he looked up at Wes with his blue eyes shining and lips still on the back of his hand. “You don’t know how happy I am you were born.”
Wes smiled, it didn’t matter what anyone got him for anything, those words where the best gift ever given to him.
AN: So I wrote more for the idea prompt I did earlier, and even combined another prompt because I wrote more for it and it worked into another fic as well. I think I can say it is done after the next fic I'm going to post. I have so much crap to write, and Avengers AU and a Competition Fic to write as well. The Avengers AU is getting pushed to the side, I need to stop going to the common law kink meme.
Genre: angst/general/slashish-friendship
Pairing(s): Travis/Wes
Rating/Warnings: T mentions of child abuse
Summary: The sequel to It Was a Hard Enough Life. Wes tackles a dark part of his past and finds the aftermath both horrible and happy.
AN: More Common Law for everyone...I got it out.
Five minutes in reality is not all that long, but it’s not overly short either. Five wasn’t that big of a number and a minute wasn’t considered long. It was a twelfth of an hour, or three hundred little increments of time. Wes shook his head; numbers weren’t going to help him. However it was all he could think about in the elevator. The math was calming him and freaking him out, it wasn’t the right way to be thinking.
Then again he never did anything like this; he always hoped he never would feel the need to. However the moment the call came over the radio, he blanked out. He came back when Travis pounded his bullet proof vest into his chest with a sharp comment of “stop shaking.”
Wes didn’t realize it, but he was shaking slightly, both earlier and now, just enough for someone to notice if they were close. He calmed himself with a breath as the elevator dinged on the right floor, there was no room for second thoughts to start. The moment he appeared in the window his five minutes would start. His 300 seconds would dwindle away. He had to do this, more for himself then what anyone else was thinking.
A uniform touched his shoulder, causing him to jump slightly. He had forgotten some of them were on the floor. The man guided him through to the door. He left it for Wes to open. Wes took a moment, taking a deep breath. Wes wasn’t the people’s person or the kids’ person either. He wasn’t anything but a robbery/homicide detective who was an ex-lawyer. Nowhere in that description really screamed people’s person. However his childhood was screaming at him for this.
Easing the door open, Wes stepped inside, closing the door behind him. He didn’t want anyone to enter, at least not till after his five minutes were over. He worked his way through the apartment and into the bedroom with the open window. Swallowing loudly, he went to the window, popping his head out and turning to the child on the ledge.
It was like staring at his twelve year old self. The boy looked at him, and twelve year old Wes vanish, and it was the brown haired boy on the ledge who Wes had conversation with earlier. He smiled slightly, waving awkwardly, and running his tongue over his lips when he noticed the gun in the boy’s hand. Five minutes, was starting to sound like not a lot of time.
Wes pulled his head out the window and worked his leg out onto the small ledge. He can only imagine how many people were questioning his actions. He was a good climber though, he climbed down a hotel balcony in a case, he was sure he wouldn’t topple over the ledge that easily. Once he rested on the ledge he worked his way towards the boy who was watching him curiously. Wes sat beside him and let out a breath; he never realized how high up it was till he looked down and saw everyone below. He immediately pressed his back against the wall.
“This is high.” He commented with a nervous breath of a laugh.
“You know most people would talk to me from the window.” The boy said pointing with his left hand, his right still gripping the gun tightly.
“That’s true,” Wes admitted with a nod, and he wasn’t exactly thinking straight. “Most suicide jumpers don’t have a gun.” The boy looked at it, looking it over. “You know, I know what it’s like.” Wes said, looking down at his hands and then back towards the window. His admitting his past to a stranger, but he found some comfort in was in a kindred soul. “I know what it’s like to want to end it all, to not exist.”
“You do?” The boy questioned with a raised eyebrow, Wes could only nod in response.
“You’re mom calls you a mistake, and her step-father completely ignores you, right?” Wes said, turning to the kid, who nodded slowly. “I’m a mistake too.” Wes said pointing to himself and swinging his legs a bit. “I screwed up my parent’s lives, and I’ve held a gun to my head before.” He wondered if he should say there were no bullets. His aunt had a gun in her nightstand, but it was only for show.
The boy was looking at him in shock. Wes smiled because he doesn’t look like the type of person to do that, and he never well because he doesn’t let himself. He buried his past so deep that the police hardly had anything about him till high school.
“You’re still here though.” The boy said with a raised eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Wes said slowly, “I am. I never could pull the trigger.”
“Were you afraid of death?” The boy asked, his fear spiking at the word.
“Everyone is scared of death,” Wes said easily, holding out his hand for the gun, and the boy gave it to him hesitantly. He shrugged as he placed the gun on his left side. “However, does the brave person jump, or walk away?” He paused for a second. “Wow, that’s something a therapist would say. I hate therapists.” The boy chuckled beside him, he smiled back.
A silence sat on them for a while. The two kindred souls just sitting there dangling their legs over their edge. It was sickly therapeutic. Wes motioned to the boy for them to get off the ledge. The boy took his hand and the two of them worked their way back to the window. The crowd below cheered, as Wes helped the boy enter the apartment through the window, just second before Travis comes bursting through the door with some officers.
Wes didn’t realize it at the time, but he was beaming like an idiot and that was half the reason Travis hugged him.
---- ---- ----
Wes’ graduation party wasn’t exactly a party. His grandparents hadn’t wanted much to do with his little family since he was born and everyone gave up on their dreams. His aunt gave him twenty dollars in a card that was for a different occasion. In fact the only people there were his mother and him, and that was alright with them.
They sat in a rather nice restaurant, eating and conversing in a manner that seemed more like distant family members rather than actual mother and son. It was enough though. They had agreed not to force it too much. It had only been two years of them fixing Wes’ crappy childhood as best they could. Their roles came naturally, but it didn’t seem that way. His mother was careful with what she said and so was Wes, the smallest words could set the other off.
“So college…” His mother said weirdly, with a guilty look on her face. They had celebrated his showering of acceptance letters to colleges all over the country. However, it wasn’t the jumping up for joy kind of celebrating and the tears in his mother’s eyes Wes saw in movies. It was a ‘congrats’ and regrets there was no advice to give.
“Yeah,” Wes nodded, pushing at some vegetables on his plate. “Law school.”
They sort of nod and a silence sat on them. “You’re going to live in the dorms.” Wes nodded, not exactly sure what to say. His college was a ways from home, and he had no means of commute yet, so living there was his only option. He can’t help but feel guilt in the fact that it was a stab in the progress they made. His mother took his hand from across the table, causing him to look up at her. “I’ll miss you Wesley.”
He smiled with genuine ease. “I’ll miss you too, mom.”
It’s true, they will both miss each other. Wes knows his mother won’t cry when she leaves him in a strange place, and he knows they’ll stand around weirdly. Still it was just a phone call away for them to be together. It wasn’t what they needed, but they would make it work.
---- ---- ----
“I’d thought you’d have gone home by now.” Wes said looking down at his watch and cringing a bit at the time. It was nine-thirty, not the latest they had stayed in to work, but it was still late. “It’s getting late.”
Travis let out a laugh as he walked over to the coffee machine were Wes was standing. Wes watched as Travis passed him, making a bee line for the sink. Travis dumped the liquid in the mug he was holding, it was most likely old cold coffee Travis couldn’t bring himself to finish. Much to Wes’ annoyance though he didn’t rinse it out, just sort of shook it.
“Hey, what kind of partner would I be if I left you alone with the police shrink.” Travis said putting his mug on the counter before he leaned on it.
“You did leave me alone with the police psychiatrist.” Wes said, though technically Travis would never have been allowed to come in even if he tried.
Travis waved his hand at the correction. “You know what I mean.” Travis snapped, his face causing Wes to chuckle into his coffee.
He really wasn’t sure if he knew what Travis meant, but it was nice to have him there to talk to after the session. Travis was the only one who knew why Wes had practically begged to go up and talk with the kid on the ledge. Travis knew enough about Wes to know why he did the weird things he did without having to question him too much.
Wes found it nice to have Travis knowing, he had always feared people would treat him differently if they knew his childhood. He had feared people would choose their words carefully around him, or be paranoid he would get offended too quickly. However, Travis continued to be Travis, sure he was slightly softer, but he wasn’t afraid of slamming Wes with a slur.
He remembered when he thought he would tell Alex about his past. She had finished a child abuse case, and the fury at the parents, or any parent who abused their child in any sort of way, was too much for him to chance. She had adored his mother, and Wes didn’t want his mother to feel any worse for her mistake. He never could bring himself to ruin the relationship between them.
“So did you tell him?” Travis said breaking the silence.
Wes jumped from his thinking, turning to Travis who was looking at him with question. Shaking his head, Wes chuckled, “No. I don’t need people thinking I have issues.”
“You do have issues.” Travis said with a grin as Wes glared at him before rolling his eyes. Travis grin grew more and he raised an eyebrow. “So I’m still the only one who knows?”
“Yes Travis.” Wes said looking at him and the other enjoyed the fact.
Wes smiled, finishing the last of his coffee and walking over to the sink. He rinsed out his cup, pulling out a few paper towels to dry it off. He tossed them in the trash when he was done with them. He turned to look at Travis, to see the darker man watching him with the simplest of smiles on his lips. It was the smile Travis gave to kids or animals, not to girls he found cute or when he cracked a joke. For some reason Wes liked it being directed at him.
“Thank you,” Wes found himself saying suddenly, leaning on the counter beside Travis. “Thank you…for letting me help that boy.” He looked down at his shoes, there was a lot of things he wanted to thank Travis for.
“No problem, but don’t freak me out by climbing through the window and sitting on a ledge swing your legs like some crazy.” Travis snapped with a bit of a laugh, causing Wes to smile.
Suddenly, Wes was moving without thinking. His hands cupping Wes’ cheeks, and his lips coming to rest lightly on Travis. Wes didn’t know exactly where in the world such an action come from, but it felt familiar like it had been there for a while. He felt Travis stiffen at his touch, but he didn’t push Wes a way, so that was a good thing. However, he proceeded to not do anything in return after a few seconds and Wes recoiled.
In a flash, he grabbed his mug and hurried out of the break room and to his desk. He grabbed his things as fast as he could and scribbled a “Sorry” on a post-it note and hurried out of the precinct and towards home.
He just screwed up the best relationship he had with anyone.
---- ---- ----
“This case is horrible.” Alex said with a sigh as she flipped through some statements.
Wes would agree it was horrible, but it could be worse. Physical abuse seemed so much easier to deal with, the body healed, but what did he know, no one hit him as child. They slammed him with slurs and ground at his sanity, but no one hurt him physically till he was sixteen. At age nine he understood how much his very existence did to his parents; at twelve he had been suicidal. He was mentally and emotionally abused, no physical scars, just a sort of haunting.
“Case’s like this usually are.” Wes said turning the page of the law book he was skimming over.
“I don’t get it.” Alex said suddenly, causing Wes to look up at her with a sound. “Jefferson offered you this case to put your name out there, and you refused, yet you’re helping me work so hard on it.”
Wes snorted, he had turned down the case because it just took the wrong combinations of words and Wes would have been thrown out of court. “I don’t do child abuse cases.” Wes said, “I don’t want to specialize in them. Besides my name is already out there.”
Alex looked at him for a moment. “Were you abused as a child?” She questioned and Wes looked at her like a deer in head lights, feeling a flicker of outrage.
“No, why do ask?” Wes lied so easily.
“I don’t know, just, I think you would be a good lawyer for the kids.” She smiled, reaching across to grab his hand. She gave it a light squeeze. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Wes said honestly and he did. They went back to work after a beat of silence and smiles.
Alex was the first woman he loved outside of the family he was supposed to. She was truly his first love, but he will never tell her that. Not now, maybe when they were older, far into the future. His mother told him he’ll always, in a way, be in love with her no matter where they go in life. Still he can’t help but wonder if he’ll tell her about his childhood.
---- ---- ----
Wes called into work sick the next morning. After assuring the chief that he wasn’t going to do anything self-harming and he actually truthfully wasn’t feeling well for a good ten minutes, he got two days off. Wes had learned how to play a good food poisoning impression from Travis. A cops diet wasn’t always home cooked and there was always the possibility. Still Wes only knows that he just bought himself two days to of avoiding Travis with a sick excuse. There still needed to be more.
Maybe Wes should just ask for a transfer somewhere else. Somewhere like Seattle, or Las Vegas. Hell he would take New York, or Miami, it was all the way on the other side of the country. Travis might not attempt to follow him if Wes went to the other coast. It would be better for everyone. There would be miles between him and Alex. Miles between him and his old life. Miles between him and Travis.
He buried his face in his pillow and pulled the blankets of the bed over his head. Why in the world did he kiss Travis? It was like an impulse he had been dying to do. Actually thinking about it, he had wanted to kiss Travis before. It was before things started following apart between them. Wes had ruined it because he knew he couldn’t act on his sudden feelings so he destroyed their relationship because of that fact. Now he could act on them, out of the blue, and he just ruined it all.
He groaned into his pillow. He wasn’t the type of person to waste a day in bed, but there wasn’t much he felt he could do. He hadn’t even gotten out of bed to change or shower, he wasn’t up for it. He turned on his side and sighed. He wasn’t tried, and he didn’t feel like flicking on the TV, and calling and texting someone was out of the question. So he laid there like a blob, thinking.
Sometime during the day he fell asleep, however. It was his only explanation as to way he woke up with a jolt to a loud banging on his door, and a song he never remembered owning playing from his computer. He also didn’t remember it being two in the afternoon. He groaned and shifted in the bed. He didn’t feel like getting up to even think about answer the door. The knocking continued for about a minute before it stopped abruptly
Wes peeked his head out of the covers, looking in the general direction of his suite room door. Usually someone would yell after that amount of knocking. He shrugged it off, figuring he should at least get up and use the restroom and brush his teeth.
He was finishing swishing the mouth wash around in his mouth when he heard his door opened, and a call of “Wes?!” in Travis’ voice. Wes nearly choked on the mouth wash, and spit it out quickly. “Hey, Wes, you in here?! Chief wanted me to check on ya.”
Wes slammed the bathroom door close loudly, and he heard Travis come thundering towards the door and he instantly locked it. Travis rattled the door and Wes smiled at the fact that he managed to lock the door in time so he didn’t have to face Travis. Of course, it dawned on him quickly that he had locked himself in a bathroom to avoid Travis who had the whole hotel room.
“Damn it, Wes, open the door!” Travis shouted pounding and rattling at the door. Wes didn’t say anything reply, hoping Travis would go away and leave him alone. “Open the door!” Travis shouted and Wes’ eyes widened, Travis was going full blown cop on him.
That meant the door and Travis’ foot were about to meet. “Don’t kick the door down, Travis!” Wes shouted back.
“Open the door Wes!” Travis shot back with ease.
Wes bit his lip. The door was going to be open by either force or surrender. Wes didn’t want it to open through either method, but Travis did, and there was no stopping Travis when he really wanted something. He didn’t seem to respond in the amount of time that was reasonable for his partner. The door rattled with a beat and force that Wes knew was Travis foot kicking the door.
“Travis! Stop fucking kicking the door!” Wes shouted rushing to the door. “I’ll unlock it.”
Flicking the lock back, Wes stumbled away from the door as the kicking came to a stop. The door flew up with the creek of the door handle. Travis is in the door way looking at him with some anger on his face. He stormed towards Wes who backed away until he was up against the wall.
“You!” Travis said as he drew forever closer, jabbing his finger in the air at Wes. Wes gulped, his father flashing briefly in front of him, but then it was back to Travis. The Travis who knew about his past and almost everything about him, he probably figured Wes was use to some charging at him like this. “You need to learn to wait and fucking lie better.”
“Wha-”
Before Wes could get anything else out of mouth, Travis had a fistful of Wes’ t-shirt, Wes grabbing at the other’s wrist in defense. Yanking in him closer, Travis was clearly testing the limits of personal space, which for Wes at the moment was both a very big distance and a very small one. Wes let out nothing but a very loud shuttering breath, then Travis’ lips are on his. Wes’ blue eyes widen, but his body relaxed naturally to Travis’ touch.
Pulling away Travis shot him a look. “Don’t go running off with your tail between your fucking legs and leaving shitty apology notes you don’t need to.” Travis said harshly and Wes could only nod in reply, looking at Wes in shock and panting. Travis smiled, “Now I’m going to do that again, and I want you to respond.”
Travis kissed him again and Wes responded quickly. The only question running through his head was: What now? However, that could be answered at a later time.
---- ---- ----
“Mom meet Travis,” Wes said introducing the two in a somewhat weird causal and professional manner. Travis was giving him a raised eyebrow, but he wasn’t commenting. “Travis this is my mother.”
Travis smiled and Wes’ mother mirrored it, taking Travis’ hand as he held it out. “So you’re the Travis,” His mother said with a solid shake. “Make sure he keeps his life.”
“That’s my job, ma’am.” Travis said easily, his smile growing wider.
“Really, because if I remember correctly, I saved you from a bullet earlier this week.” Wes comment wandering a bit more into his mother’s condo.
Travis gave an awkward laugh, but he quickly started up a conversation with his mother again. Wes kept one ear on that, not like his mother would say anything embarrassing about his childhood or show any photos that would be future black mail for Travis. Still he listens. His mother is good with words, and she won’t say anything to give away their lies, but he listens for the slip ups that get to him.
She was good, however, calling him a “happy surprise.” Wes turned to look at the two of them talking, the fight they had had a few weeks before stirred in his mind. They aren’t perfect, but no one really is with their parent, so Wes wasn’t worried if she glances at him with worry about her words. He smiled at the two of them.
“Wesley, when is Alex coming?” His mother asked as she led Travis to sit on the couch and chat more.
“Soon, she got held up at the office, but she’ll be here before dinner.” Wes smiled at her.
She smiled back, clearly getting his silent apology. She turned back and started talking with Travis about his life in foster care, because his mother is a curious creature.
---- ---- ----
Their therapy session wasn’t really a session; it was in all sense of the word a causal party. Travis had somehow convinced Dr. Ryan to let the session be a sort of birthday party for Wes, the other couples didn’t mind. However they oddly all brought a cake, including Dr. Ryan, and Travis admitted he forgotten who was bring the cake and ended up asking them all too. Yet, Wes knew it was Travis attempting to make up for the lack of birthday cakes in Wes’ life.
Each couple gave him little knick knacks, weird little things he imaged Travis wrote in an email. Things along the nature of a nice pen. It was touching in a way that Wes wasn’t overly use to, but he smiled and thanked everyone. They all sort of lingered about for the session, chatting with each other and having a good time it seemed.
No one really talked to him, but he was the asshole of the whole group, he wasn’t expecting, or wanting, people to humor him because it was his birthday. Wes lingered, poking at his cake. He wasn’t exactly a sweets person, but Travis kept shoving a plateful of cake in his hand, and leaving him to eat it. Dr. Ryan took notice of him in the corner watching everyone else.
“You’re not exactly the party goer, I see.” She said with a small smile as she came to stand by his side.
“I’m not a big fan of surprises.” Wes said, but that was already so clear in his personality, it caused Dr. Ryan to chuckle lightly. “Or people celebrating my birthday.”
She turned to him. “Usually people like their birthdays, all the attention is on them for once.”
He snorted, he wasn’t like most people. “I’m not exactly demanding the spotlight.” Wes said turning his eyes to look at Travis who was making the group he was talking to laugh at a joke.
“I know.” Dr. Ryan said with ease. “That’s the kind of person you are Wes. You keep people at an arm’s length, because you don’t want to get hurt, or worse hurt them.” Wes turned back to her with such speed he knew he gave away the fact that she was right. “I’ve watch you, Wes. I can tell you things about you, you’re not ready for yourself to accept.” He stared at her, but she was probably right, it was her job after all. “You have to accept the fact that some people are going to care about you even if you hurt them.”
With that she walked away from him, glancing at her watch and calling for a clean-up. Travis comes trotting over; frowning as Wes hardly touched his cake. In a heartbeat though he was grinning, snatching the plate up and snacking on the piece. Were Travis and him not together, he would have found it odd the man hadn’t gotten a new fork, but Wes didn’t mind now. Clean up didn’t take long and they were out of the session early, filing into Wes’ car to finish some work at the station.
Travis grabbed his hand from the transmission and interlocking their fingers. “Did you like your party?” He asked with a smile.
“You know I don’t like surprises.” Wes comments sternly
“I know, but it’s cute to see you all flustered.” Travis said with a dashing smile, which never failed to make Wes blush. “Besides, it’s your birthday.”
Wes could only look at Travis. He sighed; Travis liked the idea of soiling him. “You didn’t get me a present did you?” Wes asked annoyed, hoping Travis hadn’t spent money on him, they might be secretly dating, but Wes doesn’t feel the need to get a present from Travis.
The other smiled, pulling Wes’ hand to his lips and placing a light kiss on the back of it. “Maybe,” he said devilishly as he looked up at Wes with his blue eyes shining and lips still on the back of his hand. “You don’t know how happy I am you were born.”
Wes smiled, it didn’t matter what anyone got him for anything, those words where the best gift ever given to him.
AN: So I wrote more for the idea prompt I did earlier, and even combined another prompt because I wrote more for it and it worked into another fic as well. I think I can say it is done after the next fic I'm going to post. I have so much crap to write, and Avengers AU and a Competition Fic to write as well. The Avengers AU is getting pushed to the side, I need to stop going to the common law kink meme.