If there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.
I wonder if you do this to torture me. All that I need to do is IM you, and ask to see you somewhere, but I can't. I called you ashes, and I was right. I want you back. godsdamn you ashes, I want you back. I hate this indecision, I hate the fact that you're gone, I hate the effect that you have on me, I hate the fact that I can't even talk to anyone about the fact that I've spent three months obsessing over the fact that you're gone, I hate the fact that I can't even remember when you left, I hate the fact that you didn't call, I hate the fact that I don't dare, I hate the fact that you're willing to just fade away.
Catharsis sucks.
catharsis n., A technique used to relieve tension and anxiety by bringing repressed feelings and fears to consciousness. New Latin, from Greek katharsis, from kathairein, to purge, from katharos, pure
Caitlin pure Celtic, Welsh
the bitch about catharsis is that it drags everything up and you can't deny it any more and it hurts. catharsis brings everything back and you can't hide it and everyone can see what it is, and what you've been desperately trying to hide-.
I'd like to meet you in borders by the manga, or Barnes and Noble in the usedbook section- by the scifi and manga, hidden away- but I don't dare. the thing is, I don't think you care any more. Not that you don't care, but you don't care what happens to me. I'm not interesting enough for you. I can't even remember what you really looked like. e-mail me, call me, IM me, anything. just contact me. or post on my lj. I found yours, you know. I didn't dare contact you about it. there's nothing there. it's been there since april. private message me on cosplay.com even. just contact me. that's all I ask.
As I sit and watch the snow fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I hear children playin', laughin' so loud
I don't think of your smile
So if you never come to me
You'll stay a distant memory
Out my window, I see lights going dark
Your dark eyes don't haunt me
And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand
And then I wonder who I am
Without the warm touch of your hand
As I sit and watch the snow fallin' down
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all
I don't miss you at all