( Read more... )

so there's this old guy in my apartment complex; as far as i can tell he lives alone and he's lived here quite awhile. and i believe he must live in perpetual dread of my weekly laundry day.
you see, for some reason that i am not aware of, this man has been entrusted with the duty of keeper of the spare keys. and almost every month, i will lock ( Read more... )

genkimurdershark: i had a dream with you in it last night ( Read more... )

if you have pictures of my butt on your computer i will be sad okay

trying to make a pattern at midnight is hard enough....

but it's even worse when you're portuguese.

Dear Stayfree feminine hygiene company ( Read more... )

First off, you. Four months ago you would not have hesitated to come see me. But, i realize that i can't be that important now that you don't "like me" like me. Understandable. A little disappointing, but completely understandable ( Read more... )

what the FUCK alarm clock?!!?!

i usually let you sleep in. the ONE TIME i asked you to get up early in sooo long and you FAIL!

it's pretty inauspicious when even your ALARM CLOCK sleeps in ><

valley for the weekend. calllll meeeeee!

Edit: the REAL valley, by the way.

i was walking into the post office today, and it was kinda bright outside. the post office being relatively dark inside, i was blinded for a moment. and at the same instant someone at the entrance of the post office who i had not seen there said to me in a loud voice "free candy bar compliments of the post office :D ( Read more... )

planning a movie night for when i go down to LA ( Read more... )