Pointless
I know I don't post very often. I am very much an 'in the moment' and in my head kind of person. Once something is over, I tend to forget that I wanted to write about it.
Today, I am very depressed. I know why. I just got back from vacation. Mostly, it's the beer. I'm dehydrated and tired and alcohol is a depressant. Knowing why (and knowing that it will eventually be over) doesn't help the fact that I am depressed right now. Every little thing that comes up seems to be too big for me to deal with.
The kitten peed on my papasan cushion again. I JUST finished thoroughly cleaning it. Why the hell does he think it's a toilet? I'm really beginning to hate that cat. Why does he have to be such a bad cat?
I have commissions I'm supposed to be working on. This should be good news, as that money will go toward a new body for Xan, but... Well, for one, I have no sewing machines. They're both being serviced. Which shouldn't be a problem. The man at the store told me they'd be done by today. Only I have no car to go pick them up until L gets home because Bethany totalled her car, Sean has been driving her to work, and because he doesn't take care of little problems with the Subaru when they crop up, there is now a BIG problem with the Subaru, and it's been in the shop for more than a week. This means that he has my car to get Bethany to work. Now, I don't mind helping out in this way, it just means that I don't have a car.
So, yeah. Two commissions off the top of my head. One is for a hat (which I could probably get cut out) and the other is for harem pants (which I should probably be patterning, at this point, since I have no pattern for Hound size). I got a request for quote for 800 teddy bear hats today. I nearly cried. It would take me six months of making nothing but hats to make 800 hats. I'd hate making hats after two weeks. None of my other projects would get attention. I'd be miserable.
Luz is still sitting around bald and eyeless because I can't decide what I need to do next for him. I think I need to pull out his sueding, touch up the color where he's scratched, re-seal and varnish him and then sand the varnish and use pliver to suede him rather than hot glue. I think the reason I haven't done it isn't because of the work but because of how devastated I would be if that didn't work to keep him from getting chipped or scratched.
Ryou-inu's Serendipity body came while I was away. (Oh, yeah, just came back from San Juan island in Washington). It's a wonderful body, although they sent it amazingly tightly strung. I shot him across the table trying to grab the S-hook with pliers so I could get the hemostat on so I could put his head on. His head is going to need serious attention. It is very yellow compared to the white of his body. And he's supposed to be very white. It can wait, though. His wig won't be here until September, and I'm supposed to do Kyo's modifications, first.
Yeah, Kyo is on the old style Dolkot body, which has a bad reputation for a good reason. So there will need to be modifications to his low waist joint and the channels in his thighs so that he can be stood and posed better. But that has to wait until after Luz's mods.
The current project should be the costumes for the Swan Lake themed meet-up next month. Need to get the commissions out of the way quickly, as those will take quite some time. Need to buy fabric for them, too. I have most of what I need, but not the primary fabric for the bodies of the overrobes. And of course, in and around all of that I need to re-shoot the pictures for my clothing thread and make harem pants to see how they will sell and help re-make the sandals to go with the eBay outfit/fullset para-chan and I are working for and make arm-covers to go with the outfit as well.
Eventually, Xan's new head will be here, and that will be one more project on the list. So, yeah, a little overwhelmed today.
And I'm trying to draft this email to the manager at HMR. I should have done this weeks ago, but I've been so stressed and upset about it that I didn't. See, para-chan and I had decided that we were ready to go back into weight loss when they announced a new Restart (for people who have done weight loss before and have been in Maintenance). We wanted to do the same program we'd done originally, as the Healthy Solutions diet had been unsuccessful for both of us. When we spoke to our coach, the very first thing she said to use equated to "You can't do that." It was like running into a brick wall. I thought I was going to cry. The time is perfect. The mindset was perfect. We have no commitments for travel or anything until AFTER the core of Restart would be finished. Why can't we do this? So, yeah, when para-chan emailed, she got the usual circuitous talk. I'm starting to be very disappointed with HMR. Worse, I'm starting to wonder why I keep going back when I feel like I get nothing out of the maintenance classes. Like I should drop out when it's time to pay for classes again rather than continue. And then I just want to swear up a storm because I don't know if it's the disappointment or the depression talking. I feel like our success is being sabotaged. We're ready to move forward, and they're barring the way.
So, yeah. Stress. And I need to buy fabric for one of these commissions. And I need to go grocery shopping. Which puts me back to not having a car until L gets home (and I don't know when she's supposed to be home), and we have Maintenance class tonight. I don't want to go. Partially because I was so bad this weekend, eating all sorts of stuff I shouldn't (cheese, fried food, beer). Part of it is the depression. Part of it is the random 4.5 pounds I'd gained last week out of the blue. Just want to say screw it all, but I don't want to get fat again. Although, now I can see why Vonnie dropped maintenance when she did. It's tedious and hard to stay focused. I feel like the only point of the classes is to guilt us into doing the right thing.
Gah. This is getting long-winded. And I should be doing other things. And even if I don't do those, I have a bunch of stuff characters gave me while I was gone to type up. But I want to go back to bed. Should, should, should. Gonna go do something.
Today, I am very depressed. I know why. I just got back from vacation. Mostly, it's the beer. I'm dehydrated and tired and alcohol is a depressant. Knowing why (and knowing that it will eventually be over) doesn't help the fact that I am depressed right now. Every little thing that comes up seems to be too big for me to deal with.
The kitten peed on my papasan cushion again. I JUST finished thoroughly cleaning it. Why the hell does he think it's a toilet? I'm really beginning to hate that cat. Why does he have to be such a bad cat?
I have commissions I'm supposed to be working on. This should be good news, as that money will go toward a new body for Xan, but... Well, for one, I have no sewing machines. They're both being serviced. Which shouldn't be a problem. The man at the store told me they'd be done by today. Only I have no car to go pick them up until L gets home because Bethany totalled her car, Sean has been driving her to work, and because he doesn't take care of little problems with the Subaru when they crop up, there is now a BIG problem with the Subaru, and it's been in the shop for more than a week. This means that he has my car to get Bethany to work. Now, I don't mind helping out in this way, it just means that I don't have a car.
So, yeah. Two commissions off the top of my head. One is for a hat (which I could probably get cut out) and the other is for harem pants (which I should probably be patterning, at this point, since I have no pattern for Hound size). I got a request for quote for 800 teddy bear hats today. I nearly cried. It would take me six months of making nothing but hats to make 800 hats. I'd hate making hats after two weeks. None of my other projects would get attention. I'd be miserable.
Luz is still sitting around bald and eyeless because I can't decide what I need to do next for him. I think I need to pull out his sueding, touch up the color where he's scratched, re-seal and varnish him and then sand the varnish and use pliver to suede him rather than hot glue. I think the reason I haven't done it isn't because of the work but because of how devastated I would be if that didn't work to keep him from getting chipped or scratched.
Ryou-inu's Serendipity body came while I was away. (Oh, yeah, just came back from San Juan island in Washington). It's a wonderful body, although they sent it amazingly tightly strung. I shot him across the table trying to grab the S-hook with pliers so I could get the hemostat on so I could put his head on. His head is going to need serious attention. It is very yellow compared to the white of his body. And he's supposed to be very white. It can wait, though. His wig won't be here until September, and I'm supposed to do Kyo's modifications, first.
Yeah, Kyo is on the old style Dolkot body, which has a bad reputation for a good reason. So there will need to be modifications to his low waist joint and the channels in his thighs so that he can be stood and posed better. But that has to wait until after Luz's mods.
The current project should be the costumes for the Swan Lake themed meet-up next month. Need to get the commissions out of the way quickly, as those will take quite some time. Need to buy fabric for them, too. I have most of what I need, but not the primary fabric for the bodies of the overrobes. And of course, in and around all of that I need to re-shoot the pictures for my clothing thread and make harem pants to see how they will sell and help re-make the sandals to go with the eBay outfit/fullset para-chan and I are working for and make arm-covers to go with the outfit as well.
Eventually, Xan's new head will be here, and that will be one more project on the list. So, yeah, a little overwhelmed today.
And I'm trying to draft this email to the manager at HMR. I should have done this weeks ago, but I've been so stressed and upset about it that I didn't. See, para-chan and I had decided that we were ready to go back into weight loss when they announced a new Restart (for people who have done weight loss before and have been in Maintenance). We wanted to do the same program we'd done originally, as the Healthy Solutions diet had been unsuccessful for both of us. When we spoke to our coach, the very first thing she said to use equated to "You can't do that." It was like running into a brick wall. I thought I was going to cry. The time is perfect. The mindset was perfect. We have no commitments for travel or anything until AFTER the core of Restart would be finished. Why can't we do this? So, yeah, when para-chan emailed, she got the usual circuitous talk. I'm starting to be very disappointed with HMR. Worse, I'm starting to wonder why I keep going back when I feel like I get nothing out of the maintenance classes. Like I should drop out when it's time to pay for classes again rather than continue. And then I just want to swear up a storm because I don't know if it's the disappointment or the depression talking. I feel like our success is being sabotaged. We're ready to move forward, and they're barring the way.
So, yeah. Stress. And I need to buy fabric for one of these commissions. And I need to go grocery shopping. Which puts me back to not having a car until L gets home (and I don't know when she's supposed to be home), and we have Maintenance class tonight. I don't want to go. Partially because I was so bad this weekend, eating all sorts of stuff I shouldn't (cheese, fried food, beer). Part of it is the depression. Part of it is the random 4.5 pounds I'd gained last week out of the blue. Just want to say screw it all, but I don't want to get fat again. Although, now I can see why Vonnie dropped maintenance when she did. It's tedious and hard to stay focused. I feel like the only point of the classes is to guilt us into doing the right thing.
Gah. This is getting long-winded. And I should be doing other things. And even if I don't do those, I have a bunch of stuff characters gave me while I was gone to type up. But I want to go back to bed. Should, should, should. Gonna go do something.