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The Riot
Volume: 2 Issue: 10
"Shot To The Heart" - 2/9/06
By Michael Lemme
Maybe it is a sense of envy. A sense of wanting to be someone else just to grasp the feeling of what they have. Some people do not know how much one aspect of their life could mean to someone lacking that. This time in the year is a very lonely time for people who do not have a special someone in their life. It gives you a time to think about what is going wrong in your life. You could always think about your strengths instead of your weaknesses, but then you would not be considered a teenager trying to deal with life's balls of crap being tossed at you like a half-baked monkey.
With Valentine's Day comes different emotions. The sense of comfort, happiness, or newly found poverty. Also the sense of sadness, loneliness, and for the first time in your life you feel like a Jewish person because you still have an extra $20 in your pocket that you did not waste on pointless roses.
Roses last for a short period of time. Emotions can last for years at a time. The demise of certain emotions may never come, but you will always have a special spot in the heart of someone close to you. Yet, if you forget to pay your hooker you will be utterly destroyed and brought to a new level of depression. The depression level where you realize even a prostitute has someone. A new level of depression that makes you realize that Hitler even got some poontang. Obviously the woman's name was not Mazal.
Webster defines the word envy as a "painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage." Mike Lemme defines the word envy as "you son of a bitch I hope you die." George W. Bush defines the word envy as "I envy the intelligence of Larry The Cable Guy, GITTTT-R-DONE."
You can say you're lonely up until a certain point. At a certain point you can be deemed a certain level of pathetic. I have reached the pinnacle of pathetic. People sometimes ask me my thoughts about being single. I always lie and say it has ups and downs. Yet, the downs really just like to screw with you more than the ups want to comfort you. You can only tell a person, you will find the right girl eventually, so many times before that person realizes that his friends are a bunch of idiots.
I joke in my comedy act (shocking I know) saying that I want some "pussy." When I really do not. I want to know how it feels to be in love, or hell how it feels to be in a relationship with someone you truly care about for more than a month. "Pussy" is just an added benefit. You know just like how "acting" is an added benefit to how Pamela Anderson achieved fame.
There comes a time in life that you realize it is time to move on. A time when you lose hope in what you have been fighting for. A time when you're just so fucking tired of trying. A time when you have played so many slow songs your whole taste in music has been shot to hell. A time when Mike Lemme's views on relationships seems like the voice of reasoning. To all of you realizing this time is now, I tell you my friends that I am also experiencing that. It is time to move on and open your eyes to new things. It is time to go out and buy a new Johnny Cash CD with that extra $20 in your pocket you lonely prick.