poetry again
Here are two poems that I wrote in 2005; which was the worst of my 28 years so far.
What a nice girl
What a nice girl.
they don't see the sadness in my eyes
What a sweet girl.
they never question my superficial lies
What a pretty girl.
they remain oblivious to my scars
What a good girl,
she’s sure to reach the stars.
What a nice girl.
Do nice girls dream of ways to die?
What a sweet girl.
Do sweet girls cry until they’re dry?
What a pretty girl.
Do pretty girls bleed to numb the pain?
What a good girl.
Do good girls slowly go insane?
I can’t remember who I was
That person seems so far away
Maybe she was a nice girl,
But she’s not here today
I don’t know exactly where she went
I lost myself along the way
The only certainty is that there’s no nice girl here,
No smart girl, pretty girl or good girl here today.
and
Grief
What is this fog that surrounds me, this smothering mist
that rises from my tears spilled freely in the night
When the business of the day
can no longer hide the fact that you’re not here.
Pieces of me ebb slowly out into the growing darkness
Sending me off to a restless sleep
As I lay transfixed in its silent reflection
until the black is all that exists
I wake with the haze inside me now
It has seeped into the empty places
where thoughts and dreams and hope used to be
Routine has taken over with the breaking of the dawn,
Compelling motions and movements
But no meaning
I see you sometimes as if in a dream, yet I am awake
Though your mouth is now forever unmoving,
it’s your voice I hear
As the wind carries to me soft whispers of goodbye.
and now I must really be getting to bed.
What a nice girl
What a nice girl.
they don't see the sadness in my eyes
What a sweet girl.
they never question my superficial lies
What a pretty girl.
they remain oblivious to my scars
What a good girl,
she’s sure to reach the stars.
What a nice girl.
Do nice girls dream of ways to die?
What a sweet girl.
Do sweet girls cry until they’re dry?
What a pretty girl.
Do pretty girls bleed to numb the pain?
What a good girl.
Do good girls slowly go insane?
I can’t remember who I was
That person seems so far away
Maybe she was a nice girl,
But she’s not here today
I don’t know exactly where she went
I lost myself along the way
The only certainty is that there’s no nice girl here,
No smart girl, pretty girl or good girl here today.
and
Grief
What is this fog that surrounds me, this smothering mist
that rises from my tears spilled freely in the night
When the business of the day
can no longer hide the fact that you’re not here.
Pieces of me ebb slowly out into the growing darkness
Sending me off to a restless sleep
As I lay transfixed in its silent reflection
until the black is all that exists
I wake with the haze inside me now
It has seeped into the empty places
where thoughts and dreams and hope used to be
Routine has taken over with the breaking of the dawn,
Compelling motions and movements
But no meaning
I see you sometimes as if in a dream, yet I am awake
Though your mouth is now forever unmoving,
it’s your voice I hear
As the wind carries to me soft whispers of goodbye.
and now I must really be getting to bed.