Another bizarre question for my flisters: How do you define a 'one night stand'?

[mlsky]

Greetings!

Okay, I'm in the middle of a really rough edit with a brand new author and I have a very simple question for my awesome flisters.

Going behind a cut for the details...

Comments

[thrace_adams]

Hmmm I guess to me a one night stand would be someone you hook up with in a bar, have sex with, and never plan to see them again.

[mlsky]

*nods* Thank you! I'll be posting again soon with a little more detail about this whole thing. Next Q to consider. Is a one night stand sex with penetration or any form of sexual act?

Again, thank you for answering!

[thrace_adams]

Hmmm, that's a good question...I honestly don't know... I'm kind of waffling on that...I think if I were single I would feel differently? It's weird. Trying to put myself in the shoes of a single 20-something, I would say sex with penetration. As myself LOL I would say any form of sexual act.

Does that help? LOLLLL

[mlsky]

Hee hee. It does help. And I sort of get the differentiation. I think it can be a little different once you're older, or have been married/in a long term relationship. I didn't give a lot of detail because I wanted a gut reaction. I'll be posting the somewhat full account with context in a little bit. :D

Thanks!!

[soleiltropiques]

Uhm...

I suppose to me this means getting it on with someone you will never see again?

That is how I would define it, anyways.

Don't know if that helps, though. :)

Though perhaps you could use the expression in a 'friends with benefits' situation as well, where one is friends with someone but has no intention of having a romantic relationship with them, yet the two engage in intercourse on occasion.

PS: You'll have to tell us how this one came about... LOL. :)

[mlsky]

Thank you! I'll be making a post to explain a little more detail about why I asked. :D

And... getting it on... does that involve sex or can it just be hot and heavy making out? I'm sort of looking for whether you'd consider a one night stand to be sex with penetration or any type of sexual act but NOT necessarily full on intercourse.

Mainly, I need to see if readers will have the same reaction I did, or if I'm in the minority on this subject/definition.

Thank you so much for answering!

[soleiltropiques]

My reaction is that I'd consider any sexual activity (i.e. not necessarily intercourse) as a one night stand. I'd put making out in there too personally, although I don't think this is the way most would define this.

I must state that I've always found it unfortunate that societal definitions of sex tend to feature intercourse as the be-all and end-all of sex. (It also brings me back to Bill Clinton's "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!". Ugh.) One reason that this bothers me is that it strikes me as really heteronormative. Another reason is that it refers back to 'slut shaming' -in other words a woman who has had many sexual partners but has not engaged in intercourse can 'claim virginity', when the concern should not lie with her 'virginity' but with the fact that society forces women to be ashamed of enjoying both their own bodies and their sexuality (i.e. the fundamental problem lies in the 'slut' label).

So, in general I'm uncomfortable with equating 'sex' with 'intercourse'.

[mlsky]

Thank you for responding!!

My reaction is that I'd consider any sexual activity (i.e. not necessarily intercourse) as a one night stand. I'd put making out in there too personally, although I don't think this is the way most would define this.

I would agree most would not define making out only as a one night stand. And 'most' is what I'm sort of bound to look for. :)

I must state that I've always found it unfortunate that societal definitions of sex tend to feature intercourse as the be-all and end-all of sex.The bolded is obviously my emphasis, but it plays into exactly why I asked this question. MOST readers would, IMO, equate a one stand stand to include intercourse. I know I did, as my knee jerk reaction. And that's where the problem lies, I think. A core group of readers could completely shred the entire story based on how they define something, if no other definition is provided

[adafrog]

Meet that night somewhere-eg bar-have sex at a house or hotel, then never see then again.

[mlsky]

*nods* Thank you! I sort of think the same thing. Sex would be involved, not just a make out session followed by some other form of sexual act (blow job, hand job, etc.) To me, that's not a one night stand, but I sorta wanted to make sure I'm not in the minority.

Thanks for answering!

[adafrog]

No problem. I love random questions. :)