(no subject)
So, there was a big tournament this weekend. A few people asked me how it went, here's an overview:
4:00 PM (Friday evening) - Leave house for weigh-ins, been up since 4:45AM ....HUNGRY(!) but at the weight I was shooting for.
5:15ish PM (Friday evening) - Arive at weigh-ins after fighting through some evil traffic. Stand in line for sign up.
6:15ish PM (Friday evening) - Still standing in line.
6:20ish (Friday evening) - Now it's my turn in line.
There isn't a no-gi listing for females on the sign up form. I was aware of it before I drove out there, but I've been in tournaments that neglected it on a form but actually had a bracket once you went to sign up. Was hoping it was an oversight.
I ask the registrar if there's a no gi bracket for women.
He says "Nope, sorry, no women's no gi this time." I say "Okay can I sign up for the men's no gi division? I don't train gi and haven't for quite a while."
....By the way, I've fought in the men's division of every tournament I've ever entered except twice... my very first in San Marcos because I was scared and Art wasn't around to coach, and one in Dallas where my game felt off going in. It's never ever ever ever before been a problem. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose, regardless it's always a good experience, and I feel like I walk away with something new.
6:25ish (Friday evening) - His cousin goes to check.
6:27 (Friday evening) Cousin comes back. I can't fight in the men's. Apparantly if he (the guy running the thing) "let's me do it, he's got to let everyone do it."
Now let me pause a moment to say in the last three and a half/four years I've been competing, I've only seen one other girl interested in entering the men's bracket. Once. I don't imagine feminazi grapplers are going to be storming your sacred castle walls of Megalomacshimoville just for a chance to roll around on the ground with ya, honey. I just want a fucking chance, alright?
6:28 (Friday evening): I say my goodbyes and walk away. No, I'm not going to compete in the gi. ...Let me get this straight, you want me to give a huge advatage to this woman I'd be fighting, who trains in the gi what five... six days a week, but you won't let me fight a guy equal my skill level in a competition/style that I do train for? No thanks. Bite me.
8:00 PM Arrive home.
Yes, it takes me that long to get home. Four freakin hours to be told I don't measure up because of my gender.
Something I can't do a damn thing about. You think I like being female? You think I asked to be born this way? It's not my fault! Don't fucking punish me for something I can't change. I'm gender dysphoric enough as it it, sheesh!
4:00 PM (Monday afternoon): Yes, I'm still ANGRY. I plan on staying angry.
This is how I'm going to fix it. My hair is shaved. I'm petite but I'm not the most feminine of creatures. I have and will pass for male if I so choose. We'll see how long it takes for the people running the next tournament to figure out I'm female, when I dress in fairly baggy clothes and register as male.
Hold me back because I lack testicles? I don't think so.
Let me compete!