two days a week, i don't need an alarm. i spring out of bed and there are a hundred and three things i want to begin all at once. time flies. one minute i look up and it's one pm, the next minute i look up and it's seven o'clock at night and i realize i'm still in my pajamas. i'm managing two bands. i feel great. i set out to do things and results ( Read more... )

talk it over
talk it
over-talk it.
the answer's still the same: 
it's discontent, humiliation
'cause you were the theme 
and i was the variation.

this might be the time i surprise myself. 

i have too much pride to ask, "where have you been?".  that i just can't do. what a riot. 

been listening to pavement. squinting in the sun. replaying eight words again and again and some more. (well, that eight words thing was really just today.) i can hardly tell if i'm coming or going. managing to not save money. been harboring vague notions of cleaning my car. investigating a strange sudden sternum injury. exploiting someone's ( Read more... )

 i came face to face with death. two nights ago. so close. so real.
but i'm still here. thinking about how i danced cheek to cheek with diaster. so close. so real.
i can't keep this up.

i fully intend to follow through with the things i commit to doing. i don't know when/how this/i got so bad. i can't muster the enthusiasm to get through an awful lot of it. even the things that are for me.  

 i've been sleeping through the 6 am phone calls.. 
but the 1, 2, and 4 am kind; those i don't know what to do with.
keep thinking about our big production on the little couch.
just another way of saying one year minus eighty three days.
i feel like shit. i really feel like shit.

fresh conch. white linen. hand-picked fruit. familiar sounds like elephant six stuff. i missed that windy little road and the pristine trophies men have built and parked along that island. friends new and old trek to the beach to talk about globalism and telecommunication and their stays in europe, respectively. the fillers fade; they never last ( Read more... )

no comfort. no vitamin k. no sense of self.  no haircut. no hurry. no strange cities alone. no nights on the floor. i used to wash my car religiously. subscribe to periodicals. respect myself. better feign respect for myself. slip a note to the most attractive person in the room. be fluent in another language. set the dinner table. now i'm defeated ( Read more... )