Olive's home birth transfer VBAC story (and pics, NSFW)
Finally getting around to doing my birth story. Warning: pictures of semi-nudity, vernixy baby and serious double chin ahead!
I was 38 weeks and maybe 2 days? and I woke up to a pop in my vagina, followed by a lot of liquid. I thought I peed myself, but after a shower and drying off, it kept coming out. Called my midwife, Jen, and she came over and checked the baby and checked for amniotic fluid. The test came back a green color, which is sort of inconclusive, but I was definitely pouring all over the place to the point where I needed depends (hahah.) Some contractions started soon after and I noticed that it was an intense pressure in my butt area and cervix, but no uterine sensations at all. They came about two minutes apart for maybe two hours? Then they stopped completely.
Jen called and let me know that with my high BP and proteinuria from the 24 hour collection, I was right on the verge with mild preeclampsia, but since I already had my water broken, it would be okay to wait. So, fast forward four days, through two hospital visits for my BP, a negative amniotic fluid test (ironically, right after the results I got up to go to the bathroom and poured bloody fluid all the way there.) Read later that if the water has been broken for a few days or contains blood, it can show up negative. Left the hospital after expecting to be kept for a repeat cesarean, after hyping myself up and convincing myself that it was going to go fine.
That evening, we watched some movies and I noticed that the butt/cervix feeling kept coming back over and over again, sometimes on top of each other, sometimes five to ten minutes apart. I didn't think much of it and we ate dinner. After my son went to sleep, I went to walk up the stairs and started getting multiple contractions to the point where I couldn't go either up or down. I called Jen and she was like "well, let's wait a while and see what's up." Right after, I had a giant contraction that left me grunty with a strong urge to push and I screamed and threw the phone. She decided to leave right after that :)
The urge to push was very strong and I couldn't control it, but I knew I was not in transition yet. She checked me at my request, thinking I may not be in full labor, but I was 6cm. We watched Clerks and I did my nails, then laid down and they spaced out a bit. Jen left and I tried drinking some wine to make the urge to push less strong as I didn't want to push and tear my cervix. I threw it up almost immediately and began shaking so Stephen called Jen and she called Jen, the other midwife. I sepnt about an hour sitting on the toilet drinking Dulcolax, pushing because I had been convinced I just needed to poop. The contractions came almost on top of each other, but were tolerable, but the pushing feeling, as though there was a bowling ball right on my anus, wouldn't go away and I began to freak out. I decided to head into the hospital when I realized I wasn't going to have time to wait for the birth tub to fill.
We got there and the nurses were awesome. Nobody said anything stupid about homebirth. I tried a shot of Nubain to see if it would help stop the pushing and it did nothing at all. Not even get me pleasantly stoned. So I asked for an epidural and the anesthesiologist came in quickly and placed a low dose version. After it was placed, I was still able to feel the pushy feeling but it was much more dulled. I could still get up and move around, move my legs and felt no drugged side effects. I slept a bit on and off for the next three hours while my contractions spaced out to a much tolerable level. I woke up to find that the full pushy feeling and contractions had returned and I freaked out a little, realizing the medication had worn off, but also a feeling of relief that I would get to still birth naturally. I paged the nurse and asked her to check me, I was fully dilated and +1, she told me to let her know when I wanted to push.
I got up and down for a while, squatting, all fours, sitting upright. I did little pushes until I finally realized that the only way to get through this was to get the baby out. I draped myself over the back of the bed and began doing long, hard pushes. It was painful, but at the same time it was much more intense than a sensation of hurting. It was like being constipated for an entire month and having to get it all out at once. Eventually, the nurse called in the OB once Jen shined a flashlight into my vagina and saw a ton of hair.
The OB came in and announced "I can't deliver in that position, I'm not a midwife!" when he saw that I wasn't on my back. I began to panic and scream no over and over, suddenly feeling like I was trapped with someone who was going to hurt me. I couldn't have a midwife catch because my pre-e made me a high risk OB patient, but one of the hospital midwives came in the room and helped calm the OB down and get him to sit back and let me do it myself. I did side lying and eventually was semi-reclined on my back, I took about 30 minutes or so of pushing the head out and letting it slide back in. Feeling the head was really creepy, disgusting and awesome, like grabbing a slimy peeled cantaloupe with hair. Once I felt the ears come out, I began to hold the head out and pushed through the ring of fire (I had been expecting that part to be a lot worse, but it just felt like someone during a really hard perineal massage.)
I decided at this point that I didn't want to do it anymore and refused to push again, with the head out, asking for a repeat cesarean. I have no idea how most of the room held in their laughter. I eventually pushed again and the shoulders stuck a bit, the OB did a little turn and she came out into my hands. I have no idea how, but suddenly my dress was pulled up over my head and there was a giant baby on my bare chest. Took a few minutes before I checked in between the legs and saw girl parts. She struggled to breathe and everyone kept telling me to talk to the baby to get her to come around, she eventually sputtered and became a bit less floppy. I held her for a while skin to skin, she had no interest in nursing at the time. She was transferred to the warmer table where she got suctioning and CPAP room air because she kept choking on a stomach full of mucus. I ended up with a third degree tear and was already bleeding a lot before the placenta came out.
The OB scolded me for swearing too much, so when I felt the urge to push, I pushed out the placenta as hard as possible, which covered him in blood. Then I shouted "FUCK!" It was awesome. I needed several doses of pitocin afterward and pushed out some pretty giant clots. The stitches weren't all that bad, after getting lidocaine it was mostly just uncomfortable pulling.
So I didn't get a home birth, but still got a mostly natural birth of a 9lb 12oz baby, 7oz larger than my son who was born by cesarean...who people said was "too big" to birth vaginally. She had a 36cm head and 38 for shoulders, which is probably what caused the tearing, as I didn't feel tears when the head was out. Overall, I'm pretty glad I got the opportunity to VBAC, the recovery was so amazing in comparison. Olive is nursing well, no postpartum depression, lost 25 pounds in three weeks and feeling awesome. I'd highly recommend asking your provider for all your options if you have had a cesarean section before, as the risks for each section increase with every surgery. My difficult labor showed me a lot about birth and will help me make choices in the future about home birth and my next baby, if I decide to have one.
after the epidural meds wore off
my 2 year old and his "hat" (it's really a box for plush vegetables)
a fun aspect of hospital birth!
I was 38 weeks and maybe 2 days? and I woke up to a pop in my vagina, followed by a lot of liquid. I thought I peed myself, but after a shower and drying off, it kept coming out. Called my midwife, Jen, and she came over and checked the baby and checked for amniotic fluid. The test came back a green color, which is sort of inconclusive, but I was definitely pouring all over the place to the point where I needed depends (hahah.) Some contractions started soon after and I noticed that it was an intense pressure in my butt area and cervix, but no uterine sensations at all. They came about two minutes apart for maybe two hours? Then they stopped completely.
Jen called and let me know that with my high BP and proteinuria from the 24 hour collection, I was right on the verge with mild preeclampsia, but since I already had my water broken, it would be okay to wait. So, fast forward four days, through two hospital visits for my BP, a negative amniotic fluid test (ironically, right after the results I got up to go to the bathroom and poured bloody fluid all the way there.) Read later that if the water has been broken for a few days or contains blood, it can show up negative. Left the hospital after expecting to be kept for a repeat cesarean, after hyping myself up and convincing myself that it was going to go fine.
That evening, we watched some movies and I noticed that the butt/cervix feeling kept coming back over and over again, sometimes on top of each other, sometimes five to ten minutes apart. I didn't think much of it and we ate dinner. After my son went to sleep, I went to walk up the stairs and started getting multiple contractions to the point where I couldn't go either up or down. I called Jen and she was like "well, let's wait a while and see what's up." Right after, I had a giant contraction that left me grunty with a strong urge to push and I screamed and threw the phone. She decided to leave right after that :)
The urge to push was very strong and I couldn't control it, but I knew I was not in transition yet. She checked me at my request, thinking I may not be in full labor, but I was 6cm. We watched Clerks and I did my nails, then laid down and they spaced out a bit. Jen left and I tried drinking some wine to make the urge to push less strong as I didn't want to push and tear my cervix. I threw it up almost immediately and began shaking so Stephen called Jen and she called Jen, the other midwife. I sepnt about an hour sitting on the toilet drinking Dulcolax, pushing because I had been convinced I just needed to poop. The contractions came almost on top of each other, but were tolerable, but the pushing feeling, as though there was a bowling ball right on my anus, wouldn't go away and I began to freak out. I decided to head into the hospital when I realized I wasn't going to have time to wait for the birth tub to fill.
We got there and the nurses were awesome. Nobody said anything stupid about homebirth. I tried a shot of Nubain to see if it would help stop the pushing and it did nothing at all. Not even get me pleasantly stoned. So I asked for an epidural and the anesthesiologist came in quickly and placed a low dose version. After it was placed, I was still able to feel the pushy feeling but it was much more dulled. I could still get up and move around, move my legs and felt no drugged side effects. I slept a bit on and off for the next three hours while my contractions spaced out to a much tolerable level. I woke up to find that the full pushy feeling and contractions had returned and I freaked out a little, realizing the medication had worn off, but also a feeling of relief that I would get to still birth naturally. I paged the nurse and asked her to check me, I was fully dilated and +1, she told me to let her know when I wanted to push.
I got up and down for a while, squatting, all fours, sitting upright. I did little pushes until I finally realized that the only way to get through this was to get the baby out. I draped myself over the back of the bed and began doing long, hard pushes. It was painful, but at the same time it was much more intense than a sensation of hurting. It was like being constipated for an entire month and having to get it all out at once. Eventually, the nurse called in the OB once Jen shined a flashlight into my vagina and saw a ton of hair.
The OB came in and announced "I can't deliver in that position, I'm not a midwife!" when he saw that I wasn't on my back. I began to panic and scream no over and over, suddenly feeling like I was trapped with someone who was going to hurt me. I couldn't have a midwife catch because my pre-e made me a high risk OB patient, but one of the hospital midwives came in the room and helped calm the OB down and get him to sit back and let me do it myself. I did side lying and eventually was semi-reclined on my back, I took about 30 minutes or so of pushing the head out and letting it slide back in. Feeling the head was really creepy, disgusting and awesome, like grabbing a slimy peeled cantaloupe with hair. Once I felt the ears come out, I began to hold the head out and pushed through the ring of fire (I had been expecting that part to be a lot worse, but it just felt like someone during a really hard perineal massage.)
I decided at this point that I didn't want to do it anymore and refused to push again, with the head out, asking for a repeat cesarean. I have no idea how most of the room held in their laughter. I eventually pushed again and the shoulders stuck a bit, the OB did a little turn and she came out into my hands. I have no idea how, but suddenly my dress was pulled up over my head and there was a giant baby on my bare chest. Took a few minutes before I checked in between the legs and saw girl parts. She struggled to breathe and everyone kept telling me to talk to the baby to get her to come around, she eventually sputtered and became a bit less floppy. I held her for a while skin to skin, she had no interest in nursing at the time. She was transferred to the warmer table where she got suctioning and CPAP room air because she kept choking on a stomach full of mucus. I ended up with a third degree tear and was already bleeding a lot before the placenta came out.
The OB scolded me for swearing too much, so when I felt the urge to push, I pushed out the placenta as hard as possible, which covered him in blood. Then I shouted "FUCK!" It was awesome. I needed several doses of pitocin afterward and pushed out some pretty giant clots. The stitches weren't all that bad, after getting lidocaine it was mostly just uncomfortable pulling.
So I didn't get a home birth, but still got a mostly natural birth of a 9lb 12oz baby, 7oz larger than my son who was born by cesarean...who people said was "too big" to birth vaginally. She had a 36cm head and 38 for shoulders, which is probably what caused the tearing, as I didn't feel tears when the head was out. Overall, I'm pretty glad I got the opportunity to VBAC, the recovery was so amazing in comparison. Olive is nursing well, no postpartum depression, lost 25 pounds in three weeks and feeling awesome. I'd highly recommend asking your provider for all your options if you have had a cesarean section before, as the risks for each section increase with every surgery. My difficult labor showed me a lot about birth and will help me make choices in the future about home birth and my next baby, if I decide to have one.
after the epidural meds wore off
my 2 year old and his "hat" (it's really a box for plush vegetables)
a fun aspect of hospital birth!