Massive Fuckin Black Hole

[mobilemum]

I'm in work and seriously just want to stop breathing for ever right at this moment in time. I've felt like this since yesterday. Most of last week too but pulled myself together for a night out on Saturday......I'm awesome at faking smiles. I cannot see pleasure in anything. I'm trying so hard to not start crying

Comments

[maryidarren]

hugs sweetie. We all go through times like this, and it's hard. How are the kids? Do they "see" this, or just carry on. I'm sure it's noticeable, a fake smile can only do so much. hugs!!

[mobilemum]

The kids are grand. I'm blessed with a wonderful au pair so she's my auto pilot.

[maryidarren]

Excellent!

[sidheag]

Sympathy, that's a nasty attack of depression you've got there; btdt, no fun at all. I don't remember, do you have experience of it from the past and are you under treatment for it? If it's just hit you in the last week or so and you don't have a history of it, maybe you're fighting/coming down with a virus or something? That's often how it goes for me. If it doesn't go away soonish, do go to your doctor with it. The other thing I find really helps is getting outside for a couple of hours each day - even if it isn't actually sunny, the light helps me. Hard to do given life's demands, though. Take care of yourself, hope you feel better soon!

[kerinda]

Ahh this. So much this.

[mobilemum]

I'm on Cymbalta 60mg per day. it's supposed to be 1 pill with 60mg but I have been taking 2 30mg per day and I missed a few days over the weekend. I was supposed to be picking up a box of 60mg and a box of 30mg from the chemist (my dr wrote the prescription as though I'm taking the 30mg at night but I'm not really she told me to stash them for when my medical card runs out and I want to wean myself off the 60 mg but I ran out of the 60mg and have been too busy at work to make it to the pharmacy to collect a new month's supply so I was doubling up the 30mg dosage thinking that would be ok)
So it's probably to do with me messing up my dosage.
I'm in work from 9 til 6, so aside from my lunch break (of which I've been skipping lately so I can get stuff done) I'm not really seeing much sunlight. Last day off was Monday of last week, my next day off is not until Thursday)

[msbratty]

Oh sweetie
I love you
Hang in there - don't let it go on for too long without getting some help

Depression and mental health sucks arse!!!

[mobilemum]

Thanks

[mobilemum]

Thanks hun.