(Untitled)

[moderndeadtime]

We are that deep red kiss, bright against the mouth; the cold stones and the ancient bedrock. The quiet loam. Many legs spin their webs among us but we do not flinch. We sway with the breeze and at night we take the day we’ve seized and travel further.

Our songs shine in the tides as errant signals; colliding with whales and the guts of oil rigs.

Comments

[wooodrow]

[moderndeadtime]

CROUCH FOR PREZIDENT

fear?! love and rockets.

[wartimeheroine]

if only i could experience such a love that was as beautiful as your writing.
[no, i'm just a Silly Girl. but you understand my meaning]

Re: fear?! love and rockets.

[moderndeadtime]

I understand your meaning. You are not a silly girl! Anything but, you are mysterious and heady and light but dark and as complex as a swiss watch and as simple as a lake and yeah, a ton of adjectives. Anything but silly!
You are more women than girl, these days. [at least it seems that way]

I am lucky and I regularly wake up with a grin on my face. I am regularly amazed by the love I feel for her and that we feel for eachother.

Re: fear?! love and rockets.

[wartimeheroine]

boys seem to rush towards manhood, wheras girls seem to tread lightly when they lie on the border between Childhood and Womanhood. i'll be eighteen in less than a month and i'm terrified. what happened to lolita after she left her "girlhood" behind?! nothing: she married and died. all that i am [romantically speaking, i guess] has been because of my Underage-ness, my Girl-ness. to clairify: i made Him feel ten years younger. He felt 20 when He was with me, i reminded Him of what He used to be. [He wasn't 30 when we went out to coffee, He wasn't 30 when we talked for hours about music]. it was like an affair, we never spoke about His family, only about His past + my future. [does this make sense? perhaps i'm just rambling]. when i think of Him i can't help but smile. then i have to remind myself, "no, kelsey. your Real Thing will come in the autumn, when you're a propper university student. there you'll find a nice boy your age

Re: fear?! love and rockets.

[moderndeadtime]

The strange thing is that now I'm eighteen I don't feel any different. Truth be told I felt more adult after I lost my virginity than after I turned 18.

I understand that your situation is somewhat different - where your relationship seemed to stress the very fact that you weren't yet an adult.

There is something very bewitching about young girls. I mean, obviously, my perspective is very minor, just consisting of talking and spending time with girls a year or two younger than me now and again, but yes, they made me feel different, in a way which is hard to put into words. I can only imagine how he must've felt like with you [especially you who seems wise beyond your years

[joycake]

this is so beautiful.

[moderndeadtime]

thankyou. Your writing recently has been spare and sometimes wonderful. I didn't comment on this but I need to tell you that I think that it is amazing and terrifyingly honest:

"i wonder if there's a group of mothers
sitting in a circle somewhere
smiling sadly and shaking their heads,

unable to outlive their one big mistake."

I hope you are well.

[ninedeadleaves]

I think we need to have a drink someday.

[moderndeadtime]

Whiskeys in a bar full of smoke? Oh yes...

[ninedeadleaves]

You know, I wasn't going to say it because I wasn't sure...first round's mine.

[jessicaetc]

it's croco and __night, please add me i want to read this. i will comment more.

[moderndeadtime]

I like to read your journal as well, I noticed you stopped posting as croco briefly, so yeah, gladly added back.

PS: I am so glad I have university before I have to enter the real world.