'I've Got To Go, It's Starting To Rain' Part Four
Part Four
"Okay and…go."
"A, D, N Q…O, X and S." Kurt grinned as Finn dropped the sheet of paper and bounded across the room. Kurt’s feet almost left the floor as he was swept up in a huge hug.
"See, I told you it would get better."
"Hmmm," Kurt agreed, pulling back from the hug. "Do you know what the best part is? I can now see to get my own clothes. No more disgusting sweatpants and oversized shirts in questionable colours."
Finn pouted, feigning offence and Kurt laughed. He felt better than he had in…in what felt like forever.
"What I like is that you can help with Glee now without falling over the piano. Oh, and you could tidy my apartment?"
"I knew it. You only put up with me because you need a slave." Kurt sighed dramatically.
"I’m not letting you cook, though. You just make salads."
"I would kill for a nice salad after weeks of your cooking. I’ll get fat."
"At least I won’t be able to see your ribs anymore." When he said that Kurt noticed that Finn’s voice had lost the gently teasing note, suddenly becoming completely serious.
"I was scared," the taller man admitted, looking down at his feet, "I was really worried about you."
Gingerly, Kurt patted his shoulder, "I’m s-"
"Don’t. Don’t apologise for this," Finn said, staring at him. They stood in silence for a moment, Kurt idly staring around the uninteresting walls of Finn’s bedroom as if they were suddenly the most fascinating thing he’d ever seen. They got even more interesting when Finn asked, "So, can we tell my mom you’re back now? Now that your eyes are better and everything."
"I- I don’t know," Kurt refused to look at Finn. Couldn’t look at Finn. Thoughts of everyone knowing, knowing he was alive, knowing he’d been kept as a pet for years, knowing that Kurt wasn’t alright and probably wouldn’t be alright for some time, knowing that the indestructible, stalwart, strong Kurt Hummel was not so undefeatable after all. Knowing that the Kurt they had known was, for want of a better word, broken.
"Hey, it’s okay, we don’t have to. Kurt? Kurt…" Finn was waving a hand in front of Kurt’s face, resting the other gently on his shoulder. Kurt realised he was shaking.
"Not ready, I get that. It’s okay."
'Why does Finn have to be so nice?’ Kurt thought venomously. 'He makes it that much harder for me by being so kind, so generous, not to mention adorkable and attracti- stop that, Kurt!' He scolded silently at himself.
"Kurt?" Finn looked genuinely worried and Kurt realised he probably should have responded by now. "Do you need to sleep for a bit? Are you tired? Do you feel sick?"
"No," Kurt shook his head, "no, I’m fine. Really, I am."
"D’you want me to cancel Rachel coming over?"
"N-no. No, it’ll be…nice to see her. I think."
"She missed you, you know. I know you two didn’t get along great, but she did miss you."
Kurt just nodded vacantly. "I think I might go out for a bit. Go shopping before she gets here." He just needed to get out. The room suddenly felt stifling, Finn’s comforting presence becoming smothering. "I’ve got an hour, right?"
There was something that Kurt still found amazingly comforting about a clothing store. The bright colours, the textures of the materials, the soft shwoosh of the hangers on the rails and even the beep of the cash registers all served to calm and soothe. He drifted between stands, running his fingers along the sweaters and shirts with a blissful sigh. He had missed this so much.
Reluctantly he returned the clothes he’d just tried on to the rails. Finn had given him a small amount of money with an apology and a "This is all I can afford; I know it’s not much," that had left Kurt buying T-shirts and jeans. He had to admit he was a little out of the loop when it came to fashion and he was looking forward to catching up, but jeans and tees seemed to still be the staple for Lima, Ohio.
When he saw the man on the other side of the shop, he couldn’t at first recognise him. Then the man was walking towards him, lip curled in a smirk and he spoke.
"Fancy seeing you here, Kurt."
And Kurt froze. That voice.
A cold hand closed around his wrist and The Man leaned casually closer, his breath tickling Kurt’s ear as he spoke.
Kurt was really quiet. Finn had just about got used to the fact that Kurt wasn’t the same as he used to be, that he was prone to long silences and staring into space for hours at a time, but this was…different. Kurt’s breathing was shaky, his hands clenched into fists, eyes glassy and staring at the wall of Finn’s living room.
He didn’t know what to do, really. While his life thus far had provided him with experience on how to pull off a last minute show choir performance or support a surprise-pregnant girlfriend, he wasn’t exactly equipped to deal with a kidnap victim freaking out on his sofa.
"Kurt?" Kurt flinched when Finn touched his shoulder. "Dude, what’s wrong?" Finn asked hesitantly, "Do you want to talk about it, or…"
Kurt jerked his shoulders in what could equally be a ‘not sure’ or ‘don’t touch me.'
"He really isn’t okay, is he?’" Rachel said in a hushed, almost awed voice when he returned to the kitchen.
"No," Finn said, busying himself with hot chocolate making. That’s what his mom always made when he was upset and really, it probably wouldn’t help Kurt, but he was clutching at straws here. "He was better this morning. I don’t know what happened." Was it something he had said? Had suggesting that Kurt talk to Carole been too much? Pushed him over some invisible edge that Finn hadn’t been aware of?
"You should take him to a doctor," Rachel suggested carefully, and Finn had never been so glad that she had mellowed significantly after leaving high school, because the old Rachel would have already grabbed Kurt by the arm and dragged him there whether he wanted to or not.
"We did. They fixed his eyes."
"I meant a psychologist or a counsellor or something," Rachel said, her voice getting louder and Finn worried that Kurt would hear, because he had always hated people talking about him behind his back. "I mean, you haven’t even been to the police-"
"Kurt doesn’t want to and I don’t want to force him," Finn said, possibly a little harshly. 'Rachel was only trying to help,' he thought guiltily.
"Finn," Rachel was being gentle now, which meant that she was about to say something Finn wouldn’t like, "maybe…Kurt possibly isn’t the best to judge a situation right now…"
"You mean you think he’s crazy?" Finn asked, anger and protective urges flaring up, an uncomfortable heat building in his stomach.
"Finn, he was locked away for six years, he’s bound to be-" but Finn was no longer listening.
"I’m not listening to this. You think I don’t know? I know. After all, I was the only person who didn’t give up on him. Even his own dad…even…" and then the anger was suddenly gone and Finn was crying into Rachel’s shoulder, not entirely sure how he got there and with a crick in his neck because she hadn’t grown since high school and that was a lot of height difference.
"Sorry," he whispered when the tears had subsided.
"Don’t be. I shouldn’t have pushed. I just wanted to-"
"Help, yeah, I know," Finn sighed. He wandered over to the kitchen door (only two strides for him, three for Kurt) to check on Kurt. He was still sitting aimlessly, staring at the wall.
"Finn?" Rachel’s voice was hesitant, ‘I just wanted to ask, are you and Kurt…?"
"Are me and Kurt what?" Finn asked, not entirely sure if she meant what he thought she meant.
"I mean, are you two… dating?"
"No," he said curtly, turning away and picking up the mug of hot chocolate, trying to make sense of the sudden surge of emotion.
"You like him though, don’t you?"
Kurt’s fingers curled around the handle of the mug and he blinked slowly, as if he was just waking up. Finn sat down next to him on the sofa while Rachel hovered to the side.
"You feeling better?"
"Yeah," Kurt said, his voice slightly shaky.
"What happened? Was it because I wanted to tell my mom, ‘cause we really don’t have too and I shouldn’t-"
"No. It wasn’t that," Kurt just sounded incredibly tired, "When I was shopping, I saw, well someon- something reminded me and I just panicked. That’s all.’ He smiled up at Rachel, "Rachel, it’s great to see you." He got to his feet, still a little wobbly, and hugged her. "Why is your shoulder wet?"
Rachel shot Finn a quick look, "Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t notice it."
"I’ve never been so glad for it to be school break." Finn said loudly in a clumsy attempt to change the subject.
Kurt snorted, "You always said that when we were at McKinley, every time."
"So I was just a little gladder each time," Finn said, shuffling along the sofa, "Sit down, you two."
They sat, squished uncomfortably close.
‘You really should have gotten a bigger apartment, Finn." Rachel said, ‘Surely you could live without so many of those games you play?"
"I can live perfectly well in a small apartment, too," Finn replied. "I don’t mind sharing a bed with Kurt." Oops, hadn’t meant to say that. He blushed bright red, sneaking a glance at Kurt to see that he was doing the same.
Rachel just shook her head and stifled a smile.
Kurt couldn’t sleep that night for two reasons. Firstly, there was the nagging, constant prickle of fear that came with the knowledge that his captor was still here, still here in Lima, potentially hiding in every shadow, behind every door, and even Finn’s apartment wasn’t safe. Kurt felt stupid, so, so stupid for living in that sense of calm, thinking for some strange reason that it was over, that he was safe even though The Man was still out there, thinking that just because he was with Finn he was immune to fear and pain.
Secondly was the fact that the visit from his once-rival to Finn’s affection and Finn’s offhand comment earlier had awoken Kurt to the fact that he, Kurt Hummel, was sharing a bed with Finn Hudson and his stupid, stupid heart kept thumping too loudly whenever he thought about it. Just to add to his predicament, Finn asleep was even more tactile that Finn awake, so for the last half an hour Kurt had been lying very still with Finn’s heavy arm draped over his hip. This was, predictably, making his heart go double time and was preventing him from going to sleep in case he did something that tomorrow would cause him great embarrassment (and he still remembered the fiasco with his redecoration and Gaga and the raw, raw pain that that had caused for everyone involved.) So maybe Finn hadn’t quite lived up to Kurt’s six-years-plus fantasy of a knight in shining armour, but that hadn’t stopped Kurt falling twice as hard twice as fast than he did in high school.
Every journey out of the house was a nightmare. Kurt spent his whole time on edge, too frightened to look up in case he saw The Man staring back from a crowd, or in a shop, or right beside him. The worst thing was that Kurt couldn’t tell Finn, couldn’t tell anyone because if he did-
‘You tell your boyfriend anything and I’ll kill him. And then I’ll come back for you.’
He had considered telling Sue Sylvester purely because she was the one force that Kurt thought might be able to stop his tormentor. She was just as formidable as he remembered, but had been shockingly…nice when she had discovered him hiding in Finn’s office. Finn had been almost hysterical with fear and convinced he was as good as fired but Sue just threw him a mild insult and offered to (if he ever found out) blackmail Figgins into letting Kurt stay.
But if Kurt told Sue and The Man found out? Kurt couldn’t risk Finn’s life like that.
"Kurt?" he jumped as Finn spoke right by his ear.
"Sorry! Sorry." Finn apologised, forehead wrinkling in concern, "I didn’t mean to scare you."
"I’m just a little jumpy," Kurt forced a smile, purposely not looking at the houses they passed as they walked along the street. Had the basement been along here? The Man could be inside any of these houses. Kurt could barely remember escaping or how he had found out where Finn lived, let alone any landmarks he had bumped into that might give a clue as to where he was held captive.
"Hey Kurt, Finn," Brittany answered the door of Anna’s house, beaming widely. She grabbed Kurt’s hand and dragged him inside. Kurt saw Finn’s eyes widen, he was obviously worried that Kurt would freak out, but there was just something about the blonde woman that Kurt found instantly calming.
She squished him in a huge hug.
"I missed your baby skin."
"Britt, I saw you on Friday."
The atmosphere in the house over dinner was relaxed and friendly. Kurt couldn’t understand why Finn was frightened of Anna. She was friendly, great with Brittany and could match Kurt in snarky humour without difficulty. Maybe she was a little sharp occasionally, or a bit cold in a way that reminded Finn of Quinn? Kurt couldn’t decide what it was but Finn was quieter than usual all evening.
After the meal, they decided to watch a movie. Like Sue, Anna seemed to have developed quite the soft spot for Kurt, so it was with little debate that they settled down to watch Rent, Finn and Kurt on the couch, Brittany and Anna curled up together on the floor.
Ten minutes in, Finn started to wriggle. 'He can’t be bored, he just can’t,' Kurt thought in horror, 'not in Rent, surely?'
Finn’s arm snaked its way around Kurt’s shoulders and Finn settled down again, tugging Kurt closer until he leaned his head against Finn’s chest.
Kurt ignored the pounding of his stupid, stupid heart and allowed himself to snuggle. Really, Finn had initiated the whole hugging thing, so what harm could it do?
Finn couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t cried in a film for, well… years, but now his eyes were definitely damp. He wasn’t all out sobbing like Kurt (it terrified him when the smaller man first started weeping into his shirt, but Kurt had reassured him between hiccups that this happened every time) but his eyes were actually watering as he patted Kurt’s back. Kurt, who moved from leaning on Finn to practically sitting on his lap about halfway through ‘Without You’. Finn wouldn’t be complaining about this, with his what was definitely More Than Brotherly Affection for Kurt, but he had a feeling that Kurt’s feelings for him were no more than platonic. Finn could understand. Kurt had always been a touchy feely kind of guy and after six years alone, human contact must feel like the best thing in the world.
Finn’s confirmation of this theory came forty-five minutes later when they were getting their coats and saying goodbye. Anna hugged Kurt and patted Finn’s shoulder, then Brittany grabbed both of them in a three-hug.
"You make a really cute couple," she said as she let them go. And Kurt completely freaked out, staring blankly out of the door, body freezing, eyes getting wide.
"Kurt?" Finn didn’t know what to do because this time he was the problem. Touch Kurt’s shoulder reassuringly? But if Kurt finds someone thinking that they are a couple bad enough to freak out over, touching probably isn’t the best thing to do.
"I think I might stay here," Kurt said abruptly, turning on his heel and walking back into the house, "if that’s alright?" Anna looked equal parts worried and confused, but let him in.
"I guess I’d better go," Finn said around the lump in his throat and walked away from the house with a dull ache in the vicinity of his heart.
Next Part Here