Fic: But That's All In The Past
Title: But That’s All In The Past
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1580
Characters/Pairings: Finn/Kurt, Sean (Finn’s friend from Laryngitis), past Sean/Finn
Spoilers: Laryngitis, Journey, Grilled Cheesus
Summary: Sean watches Finn as he makes his way through the ups and downs of show choir. And it always comes back to Kurt Hummel. Mild angst and Fluff.
‘So, Rachel and you…’ Sean asks Finn a week after his second singing lesson with Rachel, because if there’s one thing he misses about high school it’s the gossip.
Finn gets this dopey, lovesick look on his face, which Sean assumes is a yes.
‘No,’ Finn says with a sigh. Not what Sean expected.
‘I mean, we used to be. But she’s with someone else.’ It’s obvious from the tone of is voice that he doesn’t want to talk about it, so Sean doesn’t push him.
‘So, tell me more about your glee club?’
‘Really, dude?’ Finn looks surprised and pleased.
‘Yeah, really. It sounds fun.’
‘Oh, it’s great. Our teacher, Mr Shue, is really awesome…’ and he’s off. Sean is listening, but he’s watching Finn’s face more, watching the flicker of expressions. There’s the lopsided grin that Sean loves, making its appearance when Finn’s talking about his friends, the songs and silly teenage drama. A sad frown takes over as his friend starts to explain how the glee kids are social outcasts, picked on by the rest of the school.
‘There’s this one guy, Kurt…’
When Finn mentions a boy, Sean feels a flash of jealousy that he is quick to clamp down on. It’s stupid. What happened at the football camp meant nothing. They had never even mentioned it again. Sean would have thought that Finn had some sort of amnesia that spanned the three weeks, if it wasn’t for the emotions that showed in Finn’s expression when he thought Sean wasn’t looking at him.
Pity. Guilt.
And besides, Finn is obviously very interested in Rachel and not this Kurt guy, whoever he is.
****
Finn shows up a week later clutching a sleeping bag, a look of horror on his face.
‘Your mom said I could stay here,’ he says, his voice not much above a whisper. ‘If that’s okay with you?’
‘Sure.’ Sean wishes (for the billionth time) that he could move his limbs. Finn looks like he needs a hug. ‘Finnster, what’s wrong?’
The weak smile he gets for using the old nickname lasts all of a second before Finn’s face crumples.
‘Kurt hates me,’ Finn says. He sniffles, sinking into the chair by Sean’s bed. ‘And I got kicked out.’
‘Are these events related?’
‘Yeah.’ Sniff. ‘Mom and Kurt’s dad are dating,’ another sniff, ‘and we moved in…and Kurt’s room…and I yelled at him.’
Sean waits patiently (as if he could do anything else!) as Finn takes a few deep, hiccupping breaths.
‘I c-called him something really, really bad, and his dad threw me out.’ Finn rubs at his reddened eyes. ‘Kurt was crying.’
Sean doesn’t know what to say. What do you say to someone who has just been kicked out?
‘Mom’s going to be pissed,’ Finn moans, starting to panic.
‘Why did you yell?’ Sean isn’t sure that bringing up something that had made Finn so angry was the best thing to cheer him up, but it is all he can think of. Also, he might be a little curious.
‘He... he likes me. And he set our parents up, and he sang to me, and them he decorated his bedroom and…I’m not gay, dude,’ Finn says desperately, staring right at him and Sean realises that Finn is asking him. Begging for reassurance and hoping that Sean isn’t going to bring it up.
They don’t talk about camp, ever.
‘You could as my mom to phone Carole, tell her you’re staying here. So she doesn’t worry. She won’t mind.’
‘Thanks, dude.’
****
‘I’m back with Rachel,’ Finn says halfway through their conversation on the merits of 80’s rock.
‘That’s great, hi-five me.’
Finn taps Sean’s immobile hand carefully. Sean hates it when Finn treats him like he’s going to break- it’s not like he can get more broken than he already is.
‘If you’re back with the pretty girl, why are you so moody today? Honestly, If I didn’t I wasn’t so gifted at telling jokes we’d both be in tears by now.’
‘We lost at regionals.’
‘You lost what?’
‘Regionals.’ Finn lets out a huge sigh. ‘It was our big show choir competition and we came third, which means that the glee club’s being disbanded.’
‘Dude, that’s sucks. I’m so sorry.’
Finn shrugs, ‘Quinn gave birth after the performance. I still feel like I’ve lost my daughter, even though I never had her.’
Sean’s heard all about the baby drama from both Finn and Rachel. He gives Finn a sympathetic wince.
‘You’ll be a great dad one day, Finn.’
‘I don’t know. That’s what Kurt said, but Mom always tells me I’m too clumsy to even look after myself.’
Kurt again. It always comes back to Kurt.
‘How are things going with the whole Kurt situation?’
‘Oh, it’s cool now. Our parents decided they were moving too quickly, so we’re back at our old house. But we’re at Burt’s like, all the time for dinner and stuff. Kurt’s actually a really cool guy when he’s not trying to get in my pants all the time.’
‘Oh, good.’ It is good, Sean thinks, Finn getting on with the guy he’s going to live with. It’s good.
He can’t quite convince himself, though, because he feels so, so jealous.
****
For his next few visits, Finn chatters about how great it is, to have an almost-brother. He never actually says brother, though, and Sean can’t help but wonder why.
Then one day, Finn arrives and he’s steering a thin figure along beside him. A boy, shorter than Finn (not difficult,) wearing ridiculously tight jeans and what appears to be a girl’s sweater.
This is Kurt. He just knows it. Everything Finn’s told him: the designer clothes, the pale skin…
What Sean wasn’t expecting was for him to look so… worn out. Dead.
‘Hey. I brought Kurt along, I hope you don’t mind,’ Finn says in a low voice.
Finn rarely brings anyone with him. Just Rachel, that one time. Since then they’ve come separately. Sean used to think that Finn was ashamed of him, but he knows now that Finn wouldn’t do that. He’s too nice.
‘Hey, Kurt.’ Well, at least he can try to be civil. To be honest, the jealous feeling seems to have vanished to be replaced with worry.
Kurt doesn’t seem to hear him.
‘I was just taking him back to mine, but I wanted to drop by. His dad’s in a coma-‘
‘Yes, just tell everyone, Finn,’ Kurt hisses angrily, not looking up. Finn flinches and Sean can see the hurt in his eyes.
‘I’ll just… Sean, dude, can I use the bathroom?’ Finn hurries out of the room.
Kurt stares vacantly into his lap and Sean can see himself a year ago mirrored in Kurt’s slumped shoulders and empty eyes.
‘Sean… Do you believe in God?’ Even after Finn’s description, Sean is surprised about how high Kurt’s voice is.
‘No. I used to, though.’
‘Did you top because they couldn’t fix your…’ Kurt gestured his neck, then blushed. ‘Sorry, that’s rude of me, I-‘
‘Not entirely because of that. Didn’t Finn tell you why this happened?’ Sean knows that he didn’t, but he still asks.
‘He said it was a football accident.’
‘It wasn’t an accident. The guy who tackled me caught me kissing F- a guy in the locker rooms at the football camp. So when we played a game he tackled me to hurt me.’
‘You’re gay?’
‘Bisexual. And I don’t believe in God because that guy that did this to me didn’t even get a telling off, while I’m stuck in this bed forever.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Everyone says that, even though it’s not their fault.’
‘I know how you feel. I had a hospital cleaner apologise for my dad’s heart attack today. I would have laughed if I wasn’t spending all my time want to scream at people.’
Sean realises that actually, he quite likes Kurt Hummel.
****
‘Dude, what do you do with someone for a one-week anniversary?’
‘Finn, how many one-weeks have you had with Rachel? I swear you two just break up and reform so that you can keep having first dates.’
‘It’s not Rachel.’ Finn says.
‘Who is it, then?’ Sean stares at him until Finn starts to blush and wilts under his gaze.
‘Kurt,’ he says in a small voice.
Sean feels equal parts pleased and envious.
‘That’s great,’ he says eventually. Finn looks at him.
‘We should talk. About,’ he gulps, ‘camp. I’m sorry I pretended it never happened. I don’t have much of an excuse, I was just terrified after what happened to you, and-‘
‘Finn.’ Finn’s touching his arm. Sean can’t feel it, but he can see. That will have to be enough. ‘It wasn’t your fault. And I really am happy for you. And Kurt.’
‘Thanks man,’ Finn says, treating Sean to that crooked smile.
Before he goes, Finn hands him an envelope.
‘Kurt said to give you this.’
After Finn has left, Sean asks his mom to open the letter. It’s on expensive note paper, but the message is simple.
‘Thank you.’
A/N: EDITED for paralysis fail and letter opening.
1) Well, look at that, I wrote something that wasn’t an AU or crack. There’s a first time for everything, I suppose.
2) I’ve been on Live Journal for three years today! Yay!