jerking off? at 9:15 in the morning.
i was actually having a good sleep, but then a phone call marked
"private caller" woke me up. normally i don't answer "private"
calls or phone numbers i don't recognize, but i've recently applied for
a couple of jobs or maybe it was a contact from my recent volunteer
work. so i answered.
now, i don't know what's more disturbing... the fact that someone would do this or the fact that i really thought it was someone i knew and thought he was actually one of my guy friends. here's how the conversation went:
[telephone rings]
me: hello.
him: hey! were you sleeping?
me: i'm sorry, i think you have the wrong number. (i didn't recognize the voice right away)
him: no. i have the right number.
me: really? then who is this?
him: here, i'll give you a hint.
me: okay...
him: i'm jerking off.
me: WHAT?!?!?! no... i REALLY think you have the wrong number.
him: oh no. i have the right number. i just sound different because i'm jerking off right now.
me: no. YOU REALLY HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
him: i'll give you another hint.
me: sure...
him: i have a 7 inch dick.
now at this point, many people would just hang up. but i swear i thought it really was someone i knew. there was no voice changer, it didn't sound like anything was obstructing the phone to muffle his voice. his voice was clear. he sounded like a guy that just woke up in the morning. therefore, his voice was probably a little deeper than his normal voice and was slightly raspy.
so in my mind i'm going through a list of guys of who this could be. maybe it's hard hair? HE WOULD have a conversation like this with me. but IF IT REALLY WAS HIM then the conversation would go more like this: "i'm horny. right now. so i'm on my way over. right now!" or "come over right now! cuz i need to have sex with you at this very moment!" so no, it's not hard hair and it didn't sound like his voice at all.
maybe it's BKB? this could pass for his morning voice, but he would never be awake at this time. and to be honest with you, he has better things to do. why would he be talking to me about jerking off? if he really wanted to see me, he would just ask to spend some time with me. so no, it's not BKB.
so maybe it's hard hair's friend. now this dude, i cut off last year. i was at first nice to him because he was hard hair's friend. but i found out he wanted to sleep with me. what a fucker! hard hair looked at him as a brother. i wasn't even attracted to this guy. plus he was 40 years old, had 2 children and a wife. granted he was in the process of a divorce, but i didn't want to fuck him! i had extremely strong feelings for hard hair. it's funny how guys can overlook friendship to fuck a girl. i guess this can be hard hair's friend's voice. plus when he did call his number would show up as "private". but is this really in his character to do something like this at 9:15 in the morning?
me: OMG! I THINK YOU HAVE A THE WRONG NUMBER! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?
him: like i said, i sound different because i'm jerkin off right now. i'll tell you. just let me cum first.
(and it kinda does sound like he's jerking off)
me: NO! SERIOUSLY! WHO IS THIS?! YOU REALLY HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYONE THAT WOULD CALL ME AND JUST SAY STUFF LIKE THIS. (fine. i lied.)
him: why not? you have a fuckin hot body. just let me come.
me: SERIOUSLY. NO ONE WOULD SAY THIS TO ME.
him: like i said. i'll tell you after i cum.
me: [holding the phone away from my face. staring at it in disbelief with my jaw wide open] (the phone is away from my ear, but i can still hear a little. it kinda sounds like something that can pass for him as jerking off.)
then he hangs up.
now seriously?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?
now, i don't know what's more disturbing... the fact that someone would do this or the fact that i really thought it was someone i knew and thought he was actually one of my guy friends. here's how the conversation went:
[telephone rings]
me: hello.
him: hey! were you sleeping?
me: i'm sorry, i think you have the wrong number. (i didn't recognize the voice right away)
him: no. i have the right number.
me: really? then who is this?
him: here, i'll give you a hint.
me: okay...
him: i'm jerking off.
me: WHAT?!?!?! no... i REALLY think you have the wrong number.
him: oh no. i have the right number. i just sound different because i'm jerking off right now.
me: no. YOU REALLY HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.
him: i'll give you another hint.
me: sure...
him: i have a 7 inch dick.
now at this point, many people would just hang up. but i swear i thought it really was someone i knew. there was no voice changer, it didn't sound like anything was obstructing the phone to muffle his voice. his voice was clear. he sounded like a guy that just woke up in the morning. therefore, his voice was probably a little deeper than his normal voice and was slightly raspy.
so in my mind i'm going through a list of guys of who this could be. maybe it's hard hair? HE WOULD have a conversation like this with me. but IF IT REALLY WAS HIM then the conversation would go more like this: "i'm horny. right now. so i'm on my way over. right now!" or "come over right now! cuz i need to have sex with you at this very moment!" so no, it's not hard hair and it didn't sound like his voice at all.
maybe it's BKB? this could pass for his morning voice, but he would never be awake at this time. and to be honest with you, he has better things to do. why would he be talking to me about jerking off? if he really wanted to see me, he would just ask to spend some time with me. so no, it's not BKB.
so maybe it's hard hair's friend. now this dude, i cut off last year. i was at first nice to him because he was hard hair's friend. but i found out he wanted to sleep with me. what a fucker! hard hair looked at him as a brother. i wasn't even attracted to this guy. plus he was 40 years old, had 2 children and a wife. granted he was in the process of a divorce, but i didn't want to fuck him! i had extremely strong feelings for hard hair. it's funny how guys can overlook friendship to fuck a girl. i guess this can be hard hair's friend's voice. plus when he did call his number would show up as "private". but is this really in his character to do something like this at 9:15 in the morning?
me: OMG! I THINK YOU HAVE A THE WRONG NUMBER! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?
him: like i said, i sound different because i'm jerkin off right now. i'll tell you. just let me cum first.
(and it kinda does sound like he's jerking off)
me: NO! SERIOUSLY! WHO IS THIS?! YOU REALLY HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW ANYONE THAT WOULD CALL ME AND JUST SAY STUFF LIKE THIS. (fine. i lied.)
him: why not? you have a fuckin hot body. just let me come.
me: SERIOUSLY. NO ONE WOULD SAY THIS TO ME.
him: like i said. i'll tell you after i cum.
me: [holding the phone away from my face. staring at it in disbelief with my jaw wide open] (the phone is away from my ear, but i can still hear a little. it kinda sounds like something that can pass for him as jerking off.)
then he hangs up.
now seriously?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?