Wakes

[mohwu]

Wakes naturally came about as a way to help the living cope with the death of another. But who decided that you need to have a dead body in the room too? At once you try and cope with grief as you see old friends, all the while knowing that for several hours right next to you lays a corpse. Seriously, what nut thought up that angle

Comments

[darkangel451]

I feel the same way when my grandmother died. I'm sorry I didn't see your earlier posts- it's been a while since I've checked livejournal or I would have said something sooner. I didn't want to be with her body, because as you said, it just isn't her anymore. I remember the exact moment she left, and I remember knowing with the worst kind of finality that what I was holding and looking at wasn't gram. There is a point when the body just isn't strong enough to sustain the spirit, and once that's gone, the only thing left is the vessel. I appreciate the ceremony of honoring that vessel, because it's how we knew and loved them while they were here- and some people just need that final ceremony to help them accept that she's no longer in it. I am so, so sorry for your loss, and the added stress of enduring a ceremony that didn't help so much as hurt you. You mentioned being there, and I'm sure she was able to feel and appreciate your presence, even if she wasn't able to tell you. So much of what we communicate is non-verbal.