Comments | moiraiz: Home (1/1)

moiraiz

Home (1/1)

Nov 19, 2012 22:35

Title: Home
Pairing: Jessica/Tiffany
Rating: PG15 (to be safe)
Word count: approx. 1100

( Read more... )

jeti, jessica, snsd, tiffany

Comments 5

scratchdnote5 November 20 2012, 04:27:17 UTC

can i come back later with concrit?

moiraiz November 20 2012, 04:32:37 UTC

Yes, please do! I need as much constructive criticism as I can get!

The following year later... scratchdnote5 January 1 2013, 23:21:56 UTC

I'm going to agree with boxxsaltz about there being able more depth that could be gone through here, especially with the beginning to see the reactions or how JeTi were leading up to Fany finding out about her blood relation with Jessica.

What really got to me was the idea of "Home" because you used it as the title, but there wasn't much that referred back to it. That's the only thing that got my attention.

boxxsaltz November 22 2012, 05:15:19 UTC

Well that was a wonderful new take I haven't come across yet and it was wonderful. Jessica is witty and Tiffany is weak to her charm. I wish there was more too this, really. It was interesting and has a lot of depth in there that could be explored. Nonetheless, it was a fun read. Nice.

moiraiz November 23 2012, 11:09:24 UTC

Thank you for reading and commenting! I'm really glad you enjoyed it :)