Three Cheers For Insomnia
The following scene occurs between two characters, Molly's Brain and Molly's Body. It's late at night, actually early morning, and sunlight begins to stream through the blinds. Both are in Molly's bedroom. Brain sits upright in a chair a few feet away from the bed. He speaks with an elitist tone and looks alert throughout the whole conversation. Body is curled up in bed. She looks tired and her voice is scratchy. Her manner is pleading and annoyed.
Body: Jesus Christ, why do you do this to me? It's been hours, give it a rest.
Brain: I don't do anything you don't already deserve.
Body: Stop being a dick, Brain. A few nights ago I didn't sleep a goddamn wink. And tonight you're trying to do the same thing. What I don't understand is why.
Brain: I'm simply trying to bring your attention to certain facts in life. If you cared about anything besides eating and sleeping you'd realize that. Stop playing the victim.
Body: But I am the victim! I'm the one who gets sick when I don't sleep. I'm the one who suffers. Is it you who feels that twist in your stomach from the worry? Is it you who's eyes are bloodshot?
Brain: Without me you'd be dead, all right? Remember that time you almost walked in front of that car? Or must I mention how a certain someone saved your ass when you thought it'd be a grand idea to keep those shots of vodka coming?
Body: Don't change the subject.
Brain: I'm only making the point that you need me. I'm your reason and your logic and your conscience.
Body: Listen, I don't have a problem with reason or logic, but this conscience thing has gone too far.
Brain: It's not my fault the rest of Molly is too busy doing God knows what the rest of the day and the only time I get a word in edgewise is at night.
Body: But do you have to do it like this? Repeating over and over the same worries, the same concerns. Never shutting the fuck up.
(Body now puts pillow over ears and struggles to get into a comfortable position)
Brain: (screaming) Oh Molly dear, remember that thought that crossed your mind earlier? You know, the one about how if that worry comes true you're screwed for life? It's gonna come true it's gonna come true it's gonna come true it's gonna come true-
Body: Shut up! Oh great, great. Birds. The fucking birds have started now.
Brain: Birds birds birds chirp chirp chirp they slept and you haven't that car you just heard is someone going off to work you're never going to sleep now you might as well give up oh by the way your friends don't really like you and they'll find out eventually what a terrible person you are or at the very least see you without make-up on and realize how beady your eyes are and that lie you told yesterday will come back to hurt you and you might be pregnant for all I know or have an STD or worse I mean did you ever think that the reason you get sick so much is because you have a horrible disease-
Body: I've had enough of you, dammit. I order you to count back from 100 right now.
Brain: 100, 99, 98, 97, chirp, 96, open your eyes and look at how bright it is outside, 95, 91, i bet you're pregnant, 91, 91, 90, you're pretty much screwed since you left college-
Body: Fuck you. Fuck. You.
(Curtain)