I sit on my girlishly quilted bed ( Read more... )

i had much fun tonight meeting liz's servite boys.

I WANT TO BE HAPPY. God. Why can't i just be 30 and beyond this.

Have started to note trends in what most consistently makes me happy and what consistently makes me mad/sad. Makes me wonder whether I am doomed in some departments, since many of my problems come from inside. Not a heartening realization. Maybe I’ll keep on changing. Into something better. My mom has begun to get too touchy-feely. I don’t ( Read more... )

I just wrote a story, but I won’t know whether it is completely stupid and pretentious until I reread it at some later date. Hardball? *shifty look* I’ll, um, read it on the way home. Yes. So, I was accosted this morning and was forced to go do Big Bills in the afternoon, that game where the group divides into teams and do anything for pretend ( Read more... )

Have been listening to a hell of a lot of music, and now I feel like my emotions are wrapped up hopelessly in these songs and I couldn’t possibly explain the hurricane inside. Not that anyone is on the edge of the edge of his or her seat wondering how I am doing. Have been thinking about future a lot today. Sort of forced contemplation-my parent ( Read more... )

Have had self-indulgent, emotional day. Hardball didn’t make cut. Enjoyed instead poems and music and windy lake-walk ( Read more... )

Just got back from family talent show. Would actually have been quite pleasant, except that I am currently paralyzed with rage at my sister, who has been acting like a shameless bitch since returning from Hawaii. Will attempt to transcend this and write about how gorgeous it was with the breeze rustling through the silhouetted oaks that framed ( Read more... )

blah blah blah blah. you'd all better miss me terribly. ive been pouring self into schoolwork. oh, and sleeping. slpet for several hours today and woke in ear infection-induced stupor. didnt eat and acted cranky. i wish i was antisocial in a more agressive, less guilty way. love the last song on "a rush of blood to the head". so good. ( Read more... )

I dreamed last night that I was a gay man. Believe it has something to do with the 2 hours I watched last night of "Boy Meets Boy"; my subconscious is like a blob of clay someone left lying around. Or perhaps it’s trying to tell me that I actually do like men after all. Or that I wish I was as pretty as your average gay man. That show had me ( Read more... )