(Incidentally, the two major character thing turned out to be a misinterpretation... there were two major characters she hadn't originally planned to kill who she ended up killing. Those two, as it turns out, were Tonks and Lupin. This doesn't affect the parody, as it's true to the reader reactions.)
Yeah, she's already said Lupin and Tonks were the two she didn't plan to kill originally. Mr Weasley was the one she planned to kill but didn't (and thta was back in book 5!)
Everyone's shooting to injure and kill--except of course HARRY, who flings spells like Remembering You Had A Dentist Appointment Just Now, Developing An Itch On Your Left Butt Cheek, and Feeling Like You Just Walked Through A Spiderweb At Face Level.
OH MY GOD. I laughed so hard at this. Which really isn't a good thing since I am at work. Everyone thinks I'm crazy now but it was so worth it.
Got the idea from one of those lists of non-words: Arachnidiot (ar ak ni' di ot) - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.
I just wish "gyrating and flailing about wildly" was all I did after walking into them. Normally I recoil so badly that I lose my balance and nearly end up on my ass.
WEASLEYS, HARRY, HERMIONE, and READERS are in a state of panic and shock. Making matters worse, GIANT FREAKING SPIDERS have also joined the battle. ROWLING is probably still cackling. HARRY: Suppose I'll check in on Voldemort's mind. Ah-ha. Hey, guys? He's in the Shrieking Shack, waiting to rendezvous with Snape. They run through the chaos of the castle. NEVILLE streaks by, throwing poisonous plants and animals at Death Eaters. MCGONAGALL sends furniture flying. TRELAWNEY does the same with crystal balls and empty vodka bottles. Everyone's shooting to injure and kill--except of course HARRY, who flings spells like Remembering You Had A Dentist Appointment Just Now, Developing An Itch On Your Left Butt Cheek, and Feeling Like You Just Walked Through A Spiderweb At Face Level.
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(Incidentally, the two major character thing turned out to be a misinterpretation... there were two major characters she hadn't originally planned to kill who she ended up killing. Those two, as it turns out, were Tonks and Lupin. This doesn't affect the parody, as it's true to the reader reactions.)
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Really? Dang. Okay, then I totally think she killed Lupin just so he could be in the Resurrection Stone scene. Poor guy.
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OH MY GOD. I laughed so hard at this. Which really isn't a good thing since I am at work. Everyone thinks I'm crazy now but it was so worth it.
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Especially since I actually cringed and got the heebie jeebies as though I had actually just walked into one.
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Got the idea from one of those lists of non-words: Arachnidiot (ar ak ni' di ot) - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web, begins gyrating and flailing about wildly.
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I just wish "gyrating and flailing about wildly" was all I did after walking into them. Normally I recoil so badly that I lose my balance and nearly end up on my ass.
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HARRY: Suppose I'll check in on Voldemort's mind. Ah-ha. Hey, guys? He's in the Shrieking Shack, waiting to rendezvous with Snape.
They run through the chaos of the castle. NEVILLE streaks by, throwing poisonous plants and animals at Death Eaters. MCGONAGALL sends furniture flying. TRELAWNEY does the same with crystal balls and empty vodka bottles. Everyone's shooting to injure and kill--except of course HARRY, who flings spells like Remembering You Had A Dentist Appointment Just Now, Developing An Itch On Your Left Butt Cheek, and Feeling Like You Just Walked Through A Spiderweb At Face Level.
HA!!! Fantastic!!
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