I feel completely estranged from every human being in the world right now. Even my children. Which convinces even me that it is my fault. I have no idea what to do about it though, because for the past month I have been taking small reaching steps toward people that feel utterly dangerous and terrifying and are all rebuffed (seemingly) which
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I hope I'm not one of the people you feel has rebuffed you - if I am, let me take this opportunity to tell you that you are projecting, so please don't be afraid.
If I had 3 wishes in the whole world, it would be really hard for me to NOT make one of them for you to pursue long term, effective counseling.
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I wish you lived closer, I just wish I could sit, chat, have coffee/tea/something stiff to drink and just be there.
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