Dear Everything,
I hate you. You suck.
But! You can redeem yourself, Everything, if you transport me to my warm, comfy bed -- complete with cat-using-me-as-catbed -- immediately, just as I was when I was cruelly forced from said bed this morning.
Yet somehow I doubt you will, for you are made of the suck.
No Love,
Mona
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*frantically searches for magic wand*
Hold on! Let me find it!
*goes to next room, where there is a lot of suspicious crashing and banging*
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