My father went to a Matisyahu concert last night.

[monarch_seas]

College girl on cell: I need that like I need a dick in the ass.
Random guy: I can help with that.
Girl, to guy: I was ... being metaphysical ... metaphorical?
Guy: I'll take it either way.
Girl: Yeah, sarcastic ... what she said [points to phone].
Guy: Well, I was being serious.
--Washington Square Park

Girl: So I'm not the biggest comic fan,

Comments

[call_it_tragedy]

Guy, about to hit on girl: Hey. [looks down at his sleeve as it slides into some bar toe-jam]
Girl: What's wrong?
Guy: I just got something on my favorite sweatshirt. [starting to get really stressed]
Girl: I don't know if you know about this, but there's these metal boxes you put you clothes in and it will clean them.
Guy stares blankly at her.
Girl: Or, if you're really lazy like me, you can just take it someplace and have a short Asian woman use the box for you.
Guy still looks at her, confused.
Girl leaves bar.

--Automatic Slims, Washington & Bethune

[ledirtyhippie]

What site are these from? I can never remember the web address. Also, did your father actually go to a Matisyahu concert?

[ledirtyhippie]

Drunk Jersey Girl #1: I can never submit anything to Overheard in New York.
Drunk Jersey Girl #2: Why not? You're in New York more than you're in Jersey.
Drunk Jersey Girl #1: Yeah but by the time I get home I'm drunk and I forgot what I heard.
Drunk Jersey Girl #2: You're a fuckin' mess. Get a laptop.

--5th Ave and Union

[malebolgefun]

hola becky sanchez