LEGEND OF MAYFIELD IV: The Piped Patio Pruning Party!

[monk_of_keyfu]

[ACTION - A (Anywhere in Mayfield, Moring/Afternoon, OPEN TO ALL)]

[Getting into the wintery time of the year can lead to problems with the plumbing! Whatever trouble you might be having in your household, it's a good thing that Mayfield has people in the city who've been assigned to be plumbers. Right?]

[So you shouldn't be too surprised to find

Comments

A

[answerer_sword]

Pipes?

[Bazett wonders what the strange man outside is talking about.]

Uh...none of use here smoke tobacco.

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Pointing dramatically at Bazett now!]

You misconstrue, my applicant of abstinence! You have summoned me to service your sanitation system!

[answerer_sword]

Oh. Those pipes.

[Her drone husband must have called this man over.]

I suppose they have been expriencing some problems.

[She should not have flushed the supposedly "contaminated" food that would not fit in her trash can down the toilet after the affair with the mushrooms.]

XD

[monk_of_keyfu]

[SUCCESS! With a whirl of his arm, the hand that was pointing dramatically at Bazett is now giving her a thumbs up.]

Lead me to the piped piper's pandemonium!

[With those mushrooms, the toilet is probably hallucinating!]

Re: XD

[answerer_sword]

Alright.

[She leads him in and shows him the toilet of the master bedroom. The toilet is obviously backed up with waste and decaying foodstuffs. A strange colored vapor rises from the chemical concoction brewing in its waters.]

I don't know why they didn't clean out the mess after rebuilding this place...

[monk_of_keyfu]

[The entire way, Key-Fu walks with a sauntering strut that looks purposeful, silly, and serious-all at the same time.]

Perhaps it is time travel employed by the rock of horrors!

[Key-Fu says that just before he gets a good look at what's in the toilet-]

[... Oh. Oh wow. Vibrantly colored steaming ... sewage. This is the kind of situation that would call for a "D:" face, were Key-Fu capable of doing more than grinning crosseyed all the time. Never fear, though, Bazett! Key-Fu overcomes his internal surprise, unstrapping a coiled device that was hanging from his utility belt and holding it high in the air in a gallant gesture.]

We shall root for the rotors!

[No, Key-Fu, that's a plumber's snake.]

[answerer_sword]

Well, please use your rotors to get rid of this. It is...uncomfortable to have in the house.

[Though she has considered studying it to see if it had any applicability, but dismissed the idea as soon as it came up.]

Just please do not make any bigger messes.

[monk_of_keyfu]

[That would be taking biological warfare to a whole new level! Meanwhile, blissfully unaware as he is, Key-Fu's busily setting up the plumber's snake for its fantastic voyage.]

Fear not, harried homeowner! I am the protector of pleasantness, and I shall plumb through to a pleasurable performance!

[answerer_sword]

[The problem would be to find something strong enough to contain the gunk.]

How...alliterative. I hope your tools are durable enough to handle this clog.

[monk_of_keyfu]

[With the plumber's snake all set up, Key-Fu gets to work! He shoves the flexible cable into the drain-keeping his hands well away from that steaming mess. And then he starts working on the crank, causing all sorts of interesting gurgling to come from the toilet.]

Truly the Beast of Murphy cannot overcome a sewage serpent of stainless steel!

[A few seconds pass by with Key-Fu diligently working on that crank. Something seems wrong, though-even though that snake is submerged into the muck, it hasn't gone anywhere ... and one would think that the clog would have made it much harder to crank, but Key-Fu seems to be having no trouble at all doing so.]

[answerer_sword]

[Bazett has no idea how the majority of modern technology works. To her, the noises seem to indicate that the clog is being dealt with. She attributes Key-fu having no trouble at all with cranking the tool to the fact that he seems to be a professional.]

I did not know unclogging toilets could cause gurgling. I suppose I should research your strange contraptions.

[The few times she had gone at it with a simple plunger, the noise could better be described as "squelching."]

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Key-Fu hesitates for a moment. Something does seem wrong; that plumber's snake should have cleared the blockage by now, or at least took hold. So he pulls out the plumber snake to find ... it's been eroded! Almost completely eaten away, toward the end!]

Gadzooks!

[You just had to tempt the Beast of Murphy, Bazett.]

[answerer_sword]

How?

[Bazett stares at the toilet with a mixture of apprehension and morbid curiosity.]

Do you have anything stronger?

[monk_of_keyfu]

[Key-Fu ponders, stroking his chin with a thumb and forefinger thoughtfully.]

Perhaps a chemical counterattack shall cleanse this discombobulation!

[answerer_sword]

Do you know what chemicals to use? Using the wrong ones would just make this worse.

[Oddly, chemistry was a field that she actually had basic expertise in, given how human chemistry had developed from mage alchemy.]

[monk_of_keyfu]

Indeed!

[Key-Fu holds up a bottle of a Fifties industrial-strength drain cleaner brand. Most plumbers probably wouldn't bother carrying all this stuff with them at the same time, but then Key-Fu is not a normal plumber by any means!]

But perhaps we should first neutralize the malicious melange with the soda of bakers!