did you ever...

[monkeido]

Did you ever wake up and realize that the life you've been living is pretty much not real and that you're all alone. It's weird and hard to explain. But I think today was one of those days. I woke up already kind of depressed. Then things just started happening to make me feel even more alone. Though I do have to admit a friend of mine on line

Comments

Nightmare....no.....Aggrevating.....yes, definitely

[dayinsomnia]

I think you've been seeing this coming for a while. You knew Josh was going to find someone else eventually, whether that is Lan or someone else. You knew that you and Josh wouldn't be more than friends, and when one friend finds a lover interest.....the other friend gets neglected. That's life. I know it doesn't make it feel any better. To be honest with you, even if I lived in Jacksonville, we wouldn't get to hang out much either. When you are busy so much, and only have a couple of days to hang, those days will go to the love interest. It's not fun for the friend, but that's a part of life, it's part of the process. You'll be on the other side at some point. No matter what, it's always going to hurt at first, nothing will change that. But you must always remember that there is life beyond today, tomm., and next week. Your day will come, I promise. It's hard to trust something that you can't see, or touch, or feel. But you have to. Once you trust that, everything will get better. You absolutely have to buy into that, you have to

Re: Nightmare....no.....Aggrevating.....yes, definitely

[monkeido]

I will always trust you. And I believe there are better days to come. And I hope one day I'm on the other side. But no matter how much I had a love interest when a friend called I was right there picking the phone up. I'm always a believer of treating your friends like gold. I guess I'm the only one that thinks that way. I know the time spent with him is going to decrease once him and/or I find someone. But I'm talking about there won't be anything. I can already see me being replaced. there's a difference from decreasing the time...and being totally replaced. I know it sounds stupid and that i'm over reacting...and maybe I am and I'll eat my words in a week. But right now...my head isn't clear enough to see through it all. It's something I just have to work through yet again...and mark the next scar on my heart. I'm running out of room for them.

Re: Nightmare....no.....Aggrevating.....yes, definitely

[dayinsomnia]

You do treat your friends like gold, I treat my friends good. But the fact is that finding a girlfriend/boyfriend is part of the process. People fall in love, get married, and have a family. They still have those same friends, but odds are that those friends have done the same. I can honestly tell you, from my own experience, that when you find someone....your life is does get consumed by all things involved with that person. You can't help it. With me and my fiance, things had no choice BUT to shift. Not only did I still have to deal with everything going on in my life, but then I had to deal with things going on in hers. I am her keeper, and I have to look out for her. The weight of two lives weighs on me, and it's that way for almost everyone when they take on a serious relationship. It's all go though. It's just part of it. He's interested in Lan, and that will naturally take him away from you some. If things get serious, then you really won't be around him a lot. That's just part of life. He has never seemed to treat you like

Re: Nightmare....no.....Aggrevating.....yes, definitely

[monkeido]

i just don't see why it has to be that way. Take my friend Maria. Her and her boyfriend are completely happy with eachother. Yet she has her life, he has his, and they have theirs together. And they've been together for almost 2-3 years now and will probably be for the rest of their lives. I know that Josh won't be around 24-7. But I can see him not being around at all. And if someone is going to drop friends as soon as someone new comes into their life, how can they call themselves a friend? Decresing the amount...ok. Bringing it to a stop...stupid. I guess I just think differently from a lot of people. I'm dealing with it. slowly but surely. and thank you brian for your words. your one person that i know truely cares. And I'd like to think that if you were here you would atleast make a couple of hours to hang. and see that's not stopping it all together. see my point? or am i just going around in circles with myself?