how do we get out of this hole....??

Apr 14, 2009 01:31

It is 1:10 am, and I am so stressed out that I can't sleep, and am finding it hard to breathe. Jay is super stressed out too ( Read more... )

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Comments 5

faye_noire April 14 2009, 08:18:33 UTC
I'm so sorry that life is being crapola to you, especially so soon to when the baby is due.

I have no idea about the circumstances around how Jay became unemployed, but he should see about unemployment benefits. It takes like 6 weeks for the money to come through but it would be for all of those 6 weeks and then every week after that. He could get as much as 1/2 of what he was being paid and maybe health insurance for the 2 of you as well. I had to do that back in December.

As for moving back with your parents it may not be a bad idea for a month or two, but your right if you stay too long you'll come to resent them or they you. I too wouldn't move without my cat. Hugs.

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lilith_sternin April 14 2009, 15:41:08 UTC
Honestly? I'd go back to MA rather than risk being evicted and not have anyplace to stay. You can get WIC/Medicaid in MA, too. I know EBT benefits can transfer from state to state, perhaps that is something you can look into as well?

I honestly don't know what to tell you. I feel for you on the cat thing, but your baby has to come first, and if you are living day by day in a house which could soon have no electricity, that's not healthy for you OR her. Can one of your friends foster the cat for a little while?

I agree the baby should be the responsibility of you and Jay, but if you can't take care of all of her needs, then there's no shame in accepting help until you CAN.

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faye_noire April 15 2009, 02:36:47 UTC
I'm going to echo this. I get loving your cat -- but you are responsible for a human life and that has to trump the care of a pet, no matter how beloved.

I understand living with family can be stressful. I get that, really. But what's the alternative at this point? In my mind, it seems best that you move in with family while you try to navigate resources/welfare/public assistance. The market being what it is, Jay isn't going to find a job immediately. Better to take action now than when that $100 is up. It's better to be annoyed by parents and sister than to be homeless. Settle in with them and start being really proactive about what resources are available for you. Get on some public housing waitlists. Apply for food stamps and welfare.

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dollyoblongsky April 15 2009, 00:06:56 UTC
ditto on what kim said- take help where you can get it, even if that means moving back home for a while until you and jay get back on your feet. ok- i know you do not want to hurt your friend but she should understand that you are not screwing her but doing what is best for YOUR baby. yes it will be cramped and it may not be ideally what you or jay want but will it be the best for the baby? it is up to you and jay to set boundaries with your mum. you and your baby should be eligible masshealth (which is an amazing benefit) and wic so you should receive assist there. and you should be able to get ebt benefits but these things do not magically appear- you need to go after them. this may sound like i am being bitchy and condensing (and i am not, trust me) but you need to be proactive if you are going to be someone's parent. and i know at 37 weeks pregnant you do not want to be doing much- however you cannot put off security for your baby. i listed some services that you should look into ( ... )

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exoticdestiny April 15 2009, 18:12:13 UTC
It's YOUR baby no matter what. I get loving your cat too but they're going to have to deal with the cat and you should move home for a few months. At least until you're caught up with bills. Your baby needs you right now and even if it means no own room for awhile, it's ok.

Look into getting EBT to help, WIC can transfer from NH to MA, so you'll still get those benefits and Jay can collect unemployment for a few months. That should help with your bills. It WILL get better, I promise.

I was unemployed for 2 months and we were struggling since my bills were not getting paid. Now, we're getting a house. Things do change and improve for the better.

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