General Rant
i miss anytown so much right now. I feel like i've become lost in upper middle class white society. it's probably my worst nightmare. i love centre a lot but i miss my people...all my people of all my groups. it's horrible and i feel lost. i spoke up the other day that the diversity student union and felt like a dumbass. everyone looked at me like, why the hell is this girl talking...it's basically all white people, but i feel like i have no connection. i busted out a totally awesome statement that totally got my point across and was totally anytown in manner and nobody got it. It turned into a conversation between me and another guy and there were at least 25 people in the room. God save me. I know I sound like I think that i'm so much better than these people because I'm diverse, but that's not what i mean. I just don't know how to connect and share what i've learned and how important it is to me. the other day one of my friends went, "that's so gay" and I didn't say anything. WTF!!! I haven't let that happen in ages. I feel like a failure. I need to get back to my anytown ness. I'm losing touch and that's so bad. I miss home right now just because I miss the knowledge that those around me understand how much it means to me to be diverse and PC. I want people to understand why I have to have a group around me that's different. It is probably the most important factor. I'm not saying that I pick my friends b/c of their racial/ethnic/other background. I don't, but I tend to gravitate towards those who will enrich my life through their differences. This doesn't make sense at all, but it's kinda how I feel. I can't blame anyone for this, I chose to come here, I guess I just expected their to be more diversity, and I was wrong. I don't regret my choice, I just wish I could change that.
To the Anybuddies-Let me know of any events that are going on in Bham. I know I'm not there, but I still want to know what's going on. It's nice to hear that people are still growing and learning and spreading their diversity. Call me sometimes and let me know how things are going. I love to listen and if I don't answer, I'll always call you back. I swear!