Uhh...okay.

[monocleostrich]

The description of what kind of stories a particular magazine is seeking:

"We are looking for tattered stories, stories constructed with broken glass and bird bones. We are looking for stories that are mirrors, facing each other and wrapped in velvet. We want stories that are industrial, post industrial, wastelands, puns, allegories, and

Comments

[paris_of_priam]

I'm thinking that magazine will get a lot of subscribers that are not subscribers yet contain the shape of subscribers.

[kissare]

And submissions from writers who are not writers yet contain the shape of writers.

[auntiec]

(Read as: We want stories that are pretentious, written badly by very pretentious people.)

[kissare]

Thank goodness for a clear translation! ;)

[monocleostrich]

Yeah, that's pretty much the translation I was getting, too. I'm SHOCKED - SHOCKED, I TELL YOU that this magazine is a "non-paying" market, meaning, of course, that they don't make any money and so cannot offer even a few bucks as a token payment to whoever they publish.

Maybe if they'd stop looking for stories constructed of broken glass and bird bones and started looking for stories constructed of plot and character they'd be able to interest some customers in buying their rag.

[_fluffy]

I hope they add in video.

[monocleostrich]

Hahaha. Mirror, Father, Mirror never fails to make me laugh.

I knew so many people who I could tell were going to grow up to be like this in my fancy-pantsy art high school thingy. Happily, it seems like most of them got a reality check and turned out relatively normal. The ones I've reconnected with so far, anyway.

[inevitableguy]

You know, just for fun, you should try to write the worst sack of crap you can and send it in to them.

[monocleostrich]

Hmmmmmm.

I might have to try that. I don't know - do you think I can make a story with teeth that is also constructed of wire and bones? Usually I construct my stories with words.

[thethinker42]

Oh, FABULOUS! Thanks for posting this. I've had a story put together with teeth, bones, broken glass, etc., and it's all about wastelands and alligators. I'll bet they'll LOVE it...

Argh. What idiots. Every damn publisher and magazine out there demands that you ONLY send what fits their magazine...fill your writer's guidelines with retarded metaphors and such, and you'll only get retarded crap as far as submissions.

These people sound like some film students...make something that seems all symbolic and DEEP to yourself, but means NOTHING - and makes no sense - to anyone else.

I hope one of them decides to use broken glass and alligators in lieu of a hemmhorroid suppository...

[monocleostrich]

You and I should collaborate on a "story" to send to them. We can write it under a jointly shared pseudonym like all the people who wrote Atlanta Nights to dupe Publish America. Let's see if we can get them to accept it!

[monocleostrich]

...but we have to make sure it's skin static!

[kissare]

WTF is "skin static?"