(Untitled)

[monsterhouse]

I want you all to promise me that, if I should die, you won't allow anyone to give me a Baptist funeral.

Comments

[lilnemo]

i promise! i was actually hoping you would grant me your body so i could make a shrine in my basement *nods*

[monsterhouse]

Umm.. *shifts uncomfortably* Really? That's, um, very sweet of you. :)

Actually, you know what? That sounds pretty rad. I want strobelights on Fridays, though.

[annes]

I'm picturing..nvm you don't want to know what I'm picturing.

What happens at a Baptist funeral?

[monsterhouse]

Screaming preachers.

[kissingypsie]

We'll encase you in wax like Ste. Bernadette.

[modrobot]

Or we could put you in a glass box like Stalin... or Snow White. :-/

[modrobot]

Now, Earl has a wife.
And we call her "Wife".
We don't know her name, because she's never really said that much.
For the longest time, we thought she could only say two words, which were "dog" and "pussy." We thought that meant "dog" and "cat", but then we found out that what she was really trying to say was "dog-pussy"; one big, hyphenated word. Which doesn't come up much in conversation, especially amongst Baptists.
-Dead Milkmen, Hidden Track on Metaphysical Graffiti