Erin and Angie's Tri-State Tour!
While I was looking over the pictures I took along the road trip Erin and I took from Boise to Portland last week, I eventually had to come to one conclusion: Erin is crazy. Much crazier than me. I'm almost jealous.
Enter
In Boise the golden eagle statue on top of the capitol building is being renovated, so to protect it the city bought a tent at REI and set it up over the eagle. I think they should just leave it up there for a while and make Boise's slogan "Boise, Idaho: The Official Sponsor of REI Camping Accessories!"
In Boise Erin and I rode the Boise Tour Train, affectionately (or annoyingly, depending on your point on view) called the...
It was fun because we were completely out of place. As Erin told me, the tour train is mostly for old people or little kids. I would hate to think that we're old, so we must be little kids. Yeah, definitely little kids.
We also went to Boise's old-fashioned Egyptian Theater and saw Arlie and the Chocolate Factory, the alternate version of Charlie and Chocolate Factory where all of he voices are dubbed with British accents.
And I befriended this adorable poodle that lives at a little bookstore. (I will never meet a dog that I don't think is adorably cute, not even the Mexican Hairless.)
Finally we went to a drive-in theater, the first one I've ever been to, and saw a Fantastic Four and The Island double feature. I'm a total sucker for movies like The Island, especially if they star Ewan McGregor, who coincidentally also played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes I through III of Star Wars, but more on that later...
About half way through Fantastic Four a lightning storm began off in the distance behind the screen, so while we were watching a couple of sci-fi action movies, purple lightning was striking in the background every few minutes. Towards the end of The Island it began to rain, but we had to keep the back of the car open so we could see the screen. Then, as we were driving home at 2:30 in the morning, lightning was still touching down on either side of the road. It was basically the coolest thing ever. Look for me in my official teal "Parma Motor Vue" t-shirt.
Our traveling vessel for our journey to Portland was Erin's super-sexy silver 1992 Volvo station wagon, complete with a bad-ass Jolly Roger air freshener, which actually smelled like old pirate sweat,
and a Ganesha air freshener, which Erin didn't know is the Hindu Goddess of fertility when she bought it.
Erin's car is incredibly cool! First of all, the air conditioning was broken for almost a year and a half, and when the car was checked out before we began our trip, we learned that the only thing wrong with it was the "on" button. But the mechanic couldn't fix it on the spot because he didn't have the right part, so he rigged up a fantastical piece of engineering that allowed us to turn it on by plugging in a wire circuit that hangs out the hole where the on button used to be. Seriously, I want that feature in my car (the car I don't have and am unlikely to any time in the near future)!
We knew the trip would be perilous, mostly because the Eastern Oregon scenery in the middle of August is so mind-numbingly dull that it's been known to cause drivers to spontaneously swerve off the road and crash down a ravine just to avoid having to pass another sign like this one (Yeah, it's a fake. We drove past the real one too fast for me to get a picture.):
In a picture of the real sign, there wouldn't be ANY trees.
Thankfully we had Obi-Wan to protect us on the road. Whether hanging from the rear view mirror and cauterizing his own palm with his light saber,
or standing on the dash board poised for action, we were glad to have Obi-Wan along.
It was on the road that I first began to suspect that Erin is, frankly, crazy.
My suspicion probably started when she began to chug the lemonade while driving. Sure the bottle was labeled "Minute Maid" but I'm pretty sure I caught a whiff or two of Tequila from that bottle.
Then there was her sudden urge to enter the witness protection program while at the wheel:
When we first left Boise, the road looked a lot like this:
By the time we'd crossed the border into Oregon the landscape had transitioned into this:
And a few hours later the scenery looked like this:
Except for when we got stuck behind a row of trucks. Then it just looked like this:
It was a tri-state tour because sometime around mile 326 we crossed over into Washington to go to Stonehenge, this extremely bizarre memorial to something (I'm not entirely sure what) that sits on the hill along the Columbia River on the Washington side. Who needs to go to England when this is in their backyard?
And here's my attempt to recreate what the ancient Washingtonian natives must have seen when they used Stonehenge to tell time:
The view southwest between some of the stones:
I'm usually the one who likes to take pictures of my feet vacationing wherever I go, but this one was Erin's idea:
And I wish I could say that my shadow is the one on the right, but I'm really the one with the Don King hair:
We were also going to go to the Maryhill Museum, which is close to Stonehenge, but it was closed. Although perhaps that was just as well, because the building looks a little like a prison to me.
This tree at Stonehenge was the first piece of vegetation we'd seen since crossing the border into Oregon,
except for when we entered the twilight zone shortly after passing through Pendleton and drove past miles and miles of trees like these:
That part of the drive really reminded me of the X-Files. I kept expecting us to turn off onto some dirt road running perpendicular to the main highway and eventually drive up to some secret government bunker with an alien spaceship being held inside, just because there must be *something* strange going on for there to be that much green in eastern Oregon.
Back at Stonehenge, Erin was confirming her craziness by first hugging the stones,
and then standing on the cliff overlooking the Columbia River and impersonating the mentally ill pianist in Shine, a movie I've never actually seen, but don't think I have to after seeing Erin's impersonation.
The next day we went to the beach, where I think Erin was so happy to finally have finished crossing the entire state of Oregon that she lost it completely and literally frolicked in the sand.
Or maybe she just did that because we passed this place on the way to the beach:
We've been planning a picture like this for a long time:
(Get it? Get it? It's funny because she's wearing a Harvey Mudd sweatshirt and I'm wearing a University of Portland one, and we're each going to the opposite school! Ha ha ha ha!)
While I wasn't taking pictures of Erin frolicking so I can black mail her later, I was pointing my camera lens directly at the sun.
I did get one good sunset picture, but that was in the Gorge, not at the coast.
While driving south on Highway 101, I was compulsively fascinated by the piles of giant marshmallows we kept passing.
Until in Lincoln City we found ourselves behind a (grungy) red convertible full of boys who hopefully *didn't* throw rocks at seagulls, unlike the guys we loitered behind on the beach. They were just above this patch of wet sand that I tried to take an artistic photo of:
We had fun, and experiences during the trip inspired both of us to get new novelty e-mail addresses. Erin got immissingashoe, and I got himynameisjoaquina to add to my other address, mynameisntavailable@gmail.com.
Back in Portland, we went up to the University of Portland, and discovered that Erin's dorm has is own fallout shelter! She's already glowing from the radiation!
Enter
In Boise the golden eagle statue on top of the capitol building is being renovated, so to protect it the city bought a tent at REI and set it up over the eagle. I think they should just leave it up there for a while and make Boise's slogan "Boise, Idaho: The Official Sponsor of REI Camping Accessories!"
In Boise Erin and I rode the Boise Tour Train, affectionately (or annoyingly, depending on your point on view) called the...
It was fun because we were completely out of place. As Erin told me, the tour train is mostly for old people or little kids. I would hate to think that we're old, so we must be little kids. Yeah, definitely little kids.
We also went to Boise's old-fashioned Egyptian Theater and saw Arlie and the Chocolate Factory, the alternate version of Charlie and Chocolate Factory where all of he voices are dubbed with British accents.
And I befriended this adorable poodle that lives at a little bookstore. (I will never meet a dog that I don't think is adorably cute, not even the Mexican Hairless.)
Finally we went to a drive-in theater, the first one I've ever been to, and saw a Fantastic Four and The Island double feature. I'm a total sucker for movies like The Island, especially if they star Ewan McGregor, who coincidentally also played Obi-Wan Kenobi in Episodes I through III of Star Wars, but more on that later...
About half way through Fantastic Four a lightning storm began off in the distance behind the screen, so while we were watching a couple of sci-fi action movies, purple lightning was striking in the background every few minutes. Towards the end of The Island it began to rain, but we had to keep the back of the car open so we could see the screen. Then, as we were driving home at 2:30 in the morning, lightning was still touching down on either side of the road. It was basically the coolest thing ever. Look for me in my official teal "Parma Motor Vue" t-shirt.
Our traveling vessel for our journey to Portland was Erin's super-sexy silver 1992 Volvo station wagon, complete with a bad-ass Jolly Roger air freshener, which actually smelled like old pirate sweat,
and a Ganesha air freshener, which Erin didn't know is the Hindu Goddess of fertility when she bought it.
Erin's car is incredibly cool! First of all, the air conditioning was broken for almost a year and a half, and when the car was checked out before we began our trip, we learned that the only thing wrong with it was the "on" button. But the mechanic couldn't fix it on the spot because he didn't have the right part, so he rigged up a fantastical piece of engineering that allowed us to turn it on by plugging in a wire circuit that hangs out the hole where the on button used to be. Seriously, I want that feature in my car (the car I don't have and am unlikely to any time in the near future)!
We knew the trip would be perilous, mostly because the Eastern Oregon scenery in the middle of August is so mind-numbingly dull that it's been known to cause drivers to spontaneously swerve off the road and crash down a ravine just to avoid having to pass another sign like this one (Yeah, it's a fake. We drove past the real one too fast for me to get a picture.):
In a picture of the real sign, there wouldn't be ANY trees.
Thankfully we had Obi-Wan to protect us on the road. Whether hanging from the rear view mirror and cauterizing his own palm with his light saber,
or standing on the dash board poised for action, we were glad to have Obi-Wan along.
It was on the road that I first began to suspect that Erin is, frankly, crazy.
My suspicion probably started when she began to chug the lemonade while driving. Sure the bottle was labeled "Minute Maid" but I'm pretty sure I caught a whiff or two of Tequila from that bottle.
Then there was her sudden urge to enter the witness protection program while at the wheel:
When we first left Boise, the road looked a lot like this:
By the time we'd crossed the border into Oregon the landscape had transitioned into this:
And a few hours later the scenery looked like this:
Except for when we got stuck behind a row of trucks. Then it just looked like this:
It was a tri-state tour because sometime around mile 326 we crossed over into Washington to go to Stonehenge, this extremely bizarre memorial to something (I'm not entirely sure what) that sits on the hill along the Columbia River on the Washington side. Who needs to go to England when this is in their backyard?
And here's my attempt to recreate what the ancient Washingtonian natives must have seen when they used Stonehenge to tell time:
The view southwest between some of the stones:
I'm usually the one who likes to take pictures of my feet vacationing wherever I go, but this one was Erin's idea:
And I wish I could say that my shadow is the one on the right, but I'm really the one with the Don King hair:
We were also going to go to the Maryhill Museum, which is close to Stonehenge, but it was closed. Although perhaps that was just as well, because the building looks a little like a prison to me.
This tree at Stonehenge was the first piece of vegetation we'd seen since crossing the border into Oregon,
except for when we entered the twilight zone shortly after passing through Pendleton and drove past miles and miles of trees like these:
That part of the drive really reminded me of the X-Files. I kept expecting us to turn off onto some dirt road running perpendicular to the main highway and eventually drive up to some secret government bunker with an alien spaceship being held inside, just because there must be *something* strange going on for there to be that much green in eastern Oregon.
Back at Stonehenge, Erin was confirming her craziness by first hugging the stones,
and then standing on the cliff overlooking the Columbia River and impersonating the mentally ill pianist in Shine, a movie I've never actually seen, but don't think I have to after seeing Erin's impersonation.
The next day we went to the beach, where I think Erin was so happy to finally have finished crossing the entire state of Oregon that she lost it completely and literally frolicked in the sand.
Or maybe she just did that because we passed this place on the way to the beach:
We've been planning a picture like this for a long time:
(Get it? Get it? It's funny because she's wearing a Harvey Mudd sweatshirt and I'm wearing a University of Portland one, and we're each going to the opposite school! Ha ha ha ha!)
While I wasn't taking pictures of Erin frolicking so I can black mail her later, I was pointing my camera lens directly at the sun.
I did get one good sunset picture, but that was in the Gorge, not at the coast.
While driving south on Highway 101, I was compulsively fascinated by the piles of giant marshmallows we kept passing.
Until in Lincoln City we found ourselves behind a (grungy) red convertible full of boys who hopefully *didn't* throw rocks at seagulls, unlike the guys we loitered behind on the beach. They were just above this patch of wet sand that I tried to take an artistic photo of:
We had fun, and experiences during the trip inspired both of us to get new novelty e-mail addresses. Erin got immissingashoe, and I got himynameisjoaquina to add to my other address, mynameisntavailable@gmail.com.
Back in Portland, we went up to the University of Portland, and discovered that Erin's dorm has is own fallout shelter! She's already glowing from the radiation!