i got a dirty mind

[montellico]

title: i got a dirty mind
pairing(s): 2min
rating: r
wordcount: ~5300
summary: There's a promiscuous alien named Taemin on the loose in Seoul, and it's up to Jinki, Jonghyun, and Kibum to catch it.
a/n: so basically... Torchwood. I started watching it. And this is the  twisted result. It's not exactly the same as the show (the way my little Misfits universe was lmao) but the main idea is borrowed directly from episode two. If you've watched that episode of Torchwood, you know to expect ridiculousness from this fic xD
OH and the continuation of this has smut lol. So who knows how long it'll be before I work up the nerve to post that.


"Captain, I think you should see this," Kibum said. "Something's coming in, and the energy readings are off the charts."

"Right," Jinki says after a moment of hesitation. "Then I guess we better get out there."

"Fuck," Jonghyun swears, scowling. "It's two in the fucking morning! I was just about to go home. And now we have to investigate some fucking meteorite or whatever?"

"Well," Jinki says with a tired smile. "That's what you get for being an alien catcher."

The van is shiny and black, very official looking. Jinki is behind the wheel, as always, and Jonghyun is beside him polishing a pair of metal tweezers which are meant to be used only for extracting samples from alien life but which Jinki suspects Jonghyun uses for plucking his nose hairs as well. Kibum is in the backseat, typing away at the van's built in computer and reporting statistics to the two up front.

"These readings are crazy," Kibum muses. "I can't believe something so small is generating so much energy. I'll bet it's lighting up the sky - we're really gonna have to book it if we want to beat the police to the landing site."

"Roger that," Jinki mutters, slamming his foot down hard on the gas.

They do manage to make it to the site - a children's playground - before the police. Kibum ropes off the area around the play structure as Jonghyun kneels before the still-smoking space rock and pops open his toolkit. The landing has decimated half the structure, gouging a decent-sized hole in the ground. Jinki is just glad there were no children around.

"Just get the usual," Jinki tells Jonghyun. "Quickly. We can do the analysis in the morning."

"On it."

"Captain," Kibum says suddenly, frowning at his handheld monitor. "Captain, the energy readings - they were going down, but just a few moments ago they spiked . . . and the rock hasn’t moved . . . what do you think - ?"

Jonghyun gives a yelp: the rock has just opened with a mighty crack.

"Ahh," comes a voice from within. "That's much better. Much, much better."

"Who are you?" Jinki calls loudly. "Identify yourself!"

"Hm? Me?" The speaker emerges; it appears to be a human teenager, tall and thin and blond, with dark eyes and plush lips. "I'm Taemin."

"Your race?" Jinki presses. "What planet are you from?"

"Does it really matter?" Taemin says, hopping out from the rock and advancing slowly on the blackened sand of the playground. He's barefoot and shirtless, wearing only a pair of tight black pants. He crosses his arms and smiles. "I come in peace, surely that's all you care about?"

"Wrong," Jinki says. He's not sure exactly what he's dealing with here, but he knows that, as a general rule, the quiet ones are always the most dangerous. He has to tread carefully.

"Hm," Taemin says thoughtfully. "I thought humans were supposed to be stupid? Lazy? Unobservant? And I mean, this planet's security is nonexistent, a total joke, but here you lot are, a regular welcome wagon. I'm afraid I don't quite understand."

"Just understand this," Jinki says. "If you intend any harm to this planet's inhabitants whatsoever, if you do anything that will negatively effect them, I will stop you. And you will regret ever coming here at all."

"Fascinating," Taemin says. "Well, rest assured, I mean this planet no harm. This visit is purely for pleasure."

"Why should I trust you?" Jinki demands. "I've yet to meet an alien on Earth that didn't want to take over the planet. And I've yet to hear an alien takeover scheme that didn't involve extreme violence and brutal subjugation."

"I am completely alone," Taemin says simply. "I am not armed. I've come as a sort of . . . vacation. I promise you I will not hurt any Earthlings in any way. Happy?"

"I'd be happier if you agreed to wear this tracker," Jinki says, holding out a thin metal wristband.

Taemin looks at it and sneers. "I highly doubt you're authorized to do that."

"I am!" Jinki says, but Taemin is already gone, sprinting away into the city on those skinny legs, those legs that carry him far faster than any human's could.

"Later, suckers!"

After the weirdly pretty, human-shaped alien runs away, Jonghyun figures he's going to get to go home. After all, Jinki says that there's no way for the three of them to follow it: they can't outrun it even with the van, they can't track it electronically, and they have no idea where it's going.

"So we can sleep now?" Jonghyun asks hopefully.

"You can nap on the van ride back if you really must," Jinki says. "Come on, pack everything up. The police will clean up this mess." He gestures at the ruined playground.

"You know, Jinki," Jonghyun says as they walk briskly back to the van, "the thing about the word 'nap' is that it kind of implies a very short period of rest. One typically only uses 'nap' when they mean that the person who's napping is going to get up fairly quickly after falling asleep, and - "

"That's right," Jinki says, hopping up into the driver's seat, "that's exactly what I mean."

"Hyung!" Jonghyun whines. "I need more than a twenty minute car ride! I need five hours. At the very least."

"No, you don't," Jinki says firmly, starting the car. He pops open the glove compartment and points to a package of small, plastic bottles. "Take one of those if you want. But I need you awake and alert tonight."

"What are these - that five hour energy shit?" Jonghyun says, turning one of the bottles over in his hand and staring at it with incredulity. "You think this is going to keep me awake? You think I can function off of one of these?"

"Yeah," Jinki says calmly. In the rearview mirror as they pull away, Jinki can see the flashing red lights of the police cars just arriving.

"Okay, remind me why we need to stay awake anyway?" Kibum says, stifling a yawn. "We can't track the creature, so what's the point?"

"We can track it," Jinki says, "as soon as it tells us where it is."

"Like that's going to happen," Jonghyun says. He begins to chug one of the energy drinks and smacks his lips with a wince. "Ugh, this is awful."

"It will tell us where it is," Jinki says confidently. "Did you see where it was headed? Downtown. Even at this hour, there will be people out and about - clubbing. Plus, there's that new apartment complex. This alien wants to mingle. And when aliens and humans mingle, there can only be trouble. We'll hear about it. And we'll know exactly where to look."

"So you're saying we have to wait until it hurts someone before we catch it," Kibum says, frowning.

"It's the only way," Jinki says. "Have a five hour energy drink. This is going to be a long night."

As it turns out, they only have to wait about fifteen minutes before Kibum picks up a hysterical signal from the police.

"I think this is it," he says excitedly, pressing his headset deeper into his ear with one hand and drumming his desk with the other. After two five hour energy drinks and a double-shot latte, he's got more energy than a hyperactive five year old. "There's been a murder in a club, the body's disintegrated, and there's a witness who describes the murderer as about 175 cm, blond, big eyes, of a slender build . . . this is it!"

"Good work," Jinki says, pulling on his coat and spinning the keys to the van around his index finger. "You've got the address of the club?"

"Yes," Kibum says, "I've got everything. Oh, the police should be calling us soon."

Sure enough, the landline rings. Jonghyun snatches it up immediately.

"We're coming already!" Jonghyun says into the phone. "A little patience?" Then he hangs up.

"Dumbass," Jinki snaps, "I was going to ask them to - "

"Whatever, let's go," Jonghyun says. He's had six five hour energy drinks and two chocolate bars and is practically jumping up and down with nervous energy. "Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

The witness's name is Minho, and he looks positively terrified. He's casually dressed, in a gray V-neck and jeans, but his shirt is ripped at the collar and stretched at the chest and his pants are open at the fly. His hair is rumpled, his eyes wide, and he seems to be in shock.

"He told us what the killer looked like," Detective Inspector Jung tells Jinki, "but after that we couldn't get a word out of him."

"Could you give us a couple minutes?" Jinki says. They're in the club's bathroom, the scene of the crime. Jung has his men swarming around, searching for evidence, but Jinki is positive the only two things they need are right in the middle of the room: a small pile of dust and Minho.

Jung is more than a little offended at being asked to leave, especially when Jonghyun sticks his tongue out at him. "With all due respect, I know you have higher clearance than I do, but I must admit I don't quite see the point in you sending us away. Surely my team and I can do more good than harm - "

"With all due respect, Yunho-ssi," Jinki says kindly, "no, you can't. Not right now. You can help by waiting outside with your team, while I work in here with mine."

Yunho continues to look affronted, but Jonghyun shoves him out the door anyway.

"Sorry, dude," he says, grinning. "Protocol."

Jinki is already turning to Minho, who still looks like a vegetable.

"Minho," he says.

No response.

"Minho."

Still nothing.

"Oh, move aside," Kibum snaps, stepping forward and giving Minho a sharp slap across the face. At once, Minho seems to wake up.

"Hey," he says with a frown. "Ow."

"Minho," Jinki says, "we need you to tell us exactly what you saw."

"Why?" Minho asks. "Who are you? Are you the police?"

"No." Jinki smiles. "We're better."

This does little to reassure Minho, but he tells them his story anyway.

"I was just having a drink at the bar. You know, regular night. And then this kid walks in, this goddamn jailbait . . . well, I wasn't going to have anything to do with him but he came up to me, and for some reason I just . . . I couldn't control myself. And so we ended up in the bathroom, kind of . . . you know, getting to know each other . . ."

"Kibum," Jinki says suddenly, "can you get the CCTV footage of this room? And the rest of the club, to be safe."

"On it," Kibum says, typing furiously at his laptop.

"Go on," Jinki tells Minho.

"Well . . . we were in here, and he seemed really horny. I mean, like, really horny. Kept talking dirty. It was . . . well. Anyways. He wanted us to actually fuck, right here in the bathroom, and I said no, we should go back to my place but he just kept insisting, trying to get my pants off and, I'm not gonna lie, I was tempted, but finally I put my foot down. Then he got mad and I thought he was going to try to hit me or something, but instead he stormed back out and I stayed here, tried to get my head straight again, tried to calm down . . . and then the next thing I know, he's back, this time with a girl, and they're just going at it! I mean, literally within seconds he's got her up on the counter - right here."

Minho points emphatically with a shaking finger and takes a deep breath.

"And, um, I won't go into details, but let's just say I saw a lot of things I didn't want to see. And he didn't even care. I left before they finished, but I know that he came out alone because when he did he came up to me again and . . . smirked. And then he just walked out. And then a bit later you all showed up and it turns out he fucking incinerated that girl into ashes and now I'm a little bit afraid for my life."

"It's okay," Jinki says, patting Minho on the shoulder. "He can't hurt you now. Did he tell you his name?"

"Taemin," Minho says quietly. "His name was Taemin."

"It's definitely our guy," Kibum says. "I've got the footage. Look at this."

The four of them crowd around the laptop and Minho winces at seeing himself on the screen.

"Oh, can we not, please?"

They watch Minho and Taemin - who’s somehow procured a shirt since they last saw him - make out heatedly for a while, until they get into some sort of argument, at which point Taemin leaves and Minho spends a minute just staring at his reflection in the mirror. Then Taemin returns with the girl, hoists her up onto the counter, Minho leaves, and, even as Taemin is thrusting into her, the girl dissipates into dust. Taemin freezes for a moment, clutching at the air. Then he straightens up, catches his breath, and saunters out of the bathroom.

"Holy fuck," Kibum whispers.

"Holy fuck," Minho echoes.

"What is it?" Jonghyun asks.

"I don't know," Jinki admits. "But I'd guess - and this is just a shot in the dark - that this is some kind of creature that reaps its energy from sex."

"Kinky," murmurs Jonghyun. "But we still don't know where it is."

"Minho," Jinki says, turning to the taller man. "Did he say anything at all that might have hinted at where we could find him now? Anything at all?"

Minho's brow furrows in thought. "I don't think so, no. There wasn't a whole lot of talking involved, to be honest."

"I picked up on that," Jinki says coolly. "But even the smallest thing can help us. Did he seem at home in the club?"

"Oh, yeah," Minho says. "When he was moving through the dance floor, he looked really natural. Like he lived for that."

"He was a good dancer?"

"Good?" Minho says with a distant look in his eyes. "More than good. Great. Amazing. Beautiful."

"Enchanting," Jinki says darkly. "Entrancing."

"Exactly!" Minho exclaims. "But I still wasn't interested in actually . . . you know, doing it with him. Because I don't go for guys. But he came closer and I guess I just forgot that I'm straight, because . . . well, I don't know why."

"Because he smelled good," Jinki says. "Right?"

"Yeah," Minho says slowly. "Yeah, he smelled so good . . ."

"I know what he is," Jinki says unhappily.

"So," Kibum says, "are we definitely not calling him 'it' anymore?"

"Why would you call him 'it' in the first place?" Minho asks, frowning. "You talk about him like he's . . . like he's not human or something."

"He's not," Jinki says frankly.

"What?"

"He's an alien," Jinki continues. "From a completely different planet. He’s close to human, on the outside, but the resemblance is only skin deep."

"An . . . alien?" Minho whispers faintly.

"Yes. A real live alien," Jinki says.

"So . . . I was this close to having gay sex with an alien?" Minho says, his eyes widening in horror.

"You sure were," Jinki says. "Have a beer, it'll help with the shock. Jonghyun?"

Jonghyun nods and disappears off to the bar, returning with a tall glass of slowly bubbling beer, which he hands to Minho.

"Drink up," Jinki says cheerfully. Minho readily complies, downing nearly three quarters of the beverage in one gulp.

"So . . . fuck . . . what happens now?" Minho asks with a burp.

"Well, now you go home, have a good sleep, and wake up in the morning with your life all back to normal," Jinki says. He's watching Minho intently, which Minho would probably find unnerving were he sober, but as it is he's having difficulty focusing on Jinki's face at all.

"What do you mean?" he asks thickly.

"Well, we just drugged you," Jinki says conversationally. "Just a little amnesia pill. So you won't remember any of this by tomorrow. It'll all be out of your hair."

"That's not - you can't - !" Minho gasps, slurring his words. "You can't do that! I've got to - got to - "

"Got to what?" Jinki asks sharply.

"You can't do this!"

"We already did," Jonghyun says frankly.

"But you can't! I've got to - got to - "

"Minho, what have you got to do?" Jinki snarls, leaning forward.

But the man's wide brown eyes are already slipping shut as he falls blissfully unconscious.

Kibum finds Minho's address from the central database and they drive him home in the van. Then Jinki and Jonghyun drag him up four flights of stairs to his apartment, pick his lock, and dump him on his bed.

"It's almost too bad we had to wipe him," Jonghyun says as the van makes its way back to the base. "He survived Taemin while that girl died, we could have used him as bait."

"Too risky," Jinki says. "And anyways, now we know where to look for Taemin."

"Nightclubs?" Kibum says. "But that's so general. There are so many clubs. How are we supposed to keep an eye on them all? Moreover, how are we supposed to catch him?"

"Well," Jinki says, "that's what we can research now, since we know what he is."

"Now?" Jonghyun says. "But we finished the five hour energy! I need to sleep, Jinki, I really do."

"Fine," Jinki snaps, "you two can sleep. I will be researching."

"Wait," Kibum says. "What is he, exactly?"

"He's an incubus," Jinki says grimly.

"I thought those were, like, mythical creatures," Jonghyun says.

"Incubus is the name of the species," Jinki says with a shrug. "They come from a different world. Their world has humans as well, but they've evolved to be wary of incubi and other humanoid predators. Last time I checked, though, incubi orgasms weren't deadly to the recipients, so that's a bit of a mystery."

"Well, have fun reading up on that," Jonghyun says with a yawn. "I will be in my bed at home, sleeping soundly."

"No," Jinki says, "you will be on the couch at the base, napping lightly. We're starting in on this case again first thing in the morning."

"You suck, hyung."

"Shut the fuck up, Jjong," Kibum says. "I am so sick of your whining. Just leave if you're so miserable here."

"I hate you, Kibum!" Jonghyun yells. "Stop picking on me!"

"Seriously, shut up," Kibum says, rolling his eyes. "You love me."

Jonghyun just flashes him the finger in response.

Jinki smiles.

"You two are cute."

Their next big lead on the Taemin case comes the following night.

"Another murder," Kibum reports from his laptop. "Basically the exact same circumstances as the first. But this time, no witnesses."

"Alright," Jinki says grimly, "let's get down there."

They arrive at the crime scene, but there's no new information. The CCTV footages shows them that, once again, Taemin has fucked and fled. Detective Inspector Jung stands by this time as they go over the footage, looking sullen at their presence. He looks even more unhappy when they tell him they're no closer to solving the case than they were yesterday.

"So why are you even here?" he asks. "I thought you were some super-advanced investigation team. Solve this already!"

"It doesn't really work like that," Jinki says quietly.

"Yeah, piss off," Jonghyun adds.

Yunho looks scandalized, and so they hightail it out of there.

"Classy," says Kibum.

"What? He deserved it," Jonghyun says defensively.

"Doesn't change the fact that you're an immature twelve year old," Kibum sniffs.

"Yeah? Well, you're an immature twelve year old girl."

"Stop bickering," Jinki says. "You both need to get your best disguises ready. Tomorrow night, we're going clubbing."

"You hate undercover work," Kibum points out.

"At this point, we don't have a choice," Jinki says. "So far the only times he's slowed down long enough to be caught are the times he's wanted to get laid. So - "

"Wait!" Kibum exclaims. "I see where you're going with this! You want us to seduce him! That's sick."

"It's necessary," Jinki says. "Sorry."

"Shouldn't be hard for me," Jonghyun says, grinning and shooting a cocky glance at Kibum.

"You're delusional," Kibum tells him sweetly. "No one in their right mind would want to have sex with you."

"I guess you're not in your right mind, then!" Jonghyun retorts.

"Wait, did you two - ?" Jinki begins incredulously. Then he stops himself. He probably doesn't want to know.

For the next week and a half, the three of them go clubbing every night, covering a wide swath of city and frequenting clubs both seedy and refined. Yet they still cannot find Taemin.

"He knows our faces," Kibum says on the second night. "He knows three guys are looking for him. We have to get creative with our disguises."

"What are you suggesting?" Jinki asks.

"I'm suggesting that he probably wants to screw girls more than he wants to screw boys."

"You're not saying we need to be girls," Jonghyun says, aghast. "No, no, no - !"

"Yes, I am," Kibum says calmly.

"I would never pass as a girl," Jinki says almost pleadingly. "Kibum - "

In the end, despite Jinki's and Jonghyun's protests, the three of them hit the clubs decked out as women, Kibum most convincingly so. Jinki and Jonghyun ask him where exactly he got these wigs, these clothes, and according to Kibum, his older (female) cousin was into cosplay as a teenager and she passed this stuff on to him when she went to college. Jinki secretly doesn't believe a word of it.

"I hate you," Jonghyun mutters as Kibum is applying his makeup. "I mean it, I really hate you."

"You love me," Kibum says breezily, and Jonghyun doesn't even bother to retort.

But even as girls they fail to capture Taemin's attention, and the murder count just keeps growing. Kibum has been calculating the most likely location of Taemin's next strike and positioning them accordingly, but they always just miss - Taemin will hit the club adjacent to the one Jinki is covering, or the one across the street from the one Jonghyun is monitoring.

"He's developing a pattern," Kibum says on the last day of the second week. "According to this data, he will show up somewhere within this block."

"If he shows up at all," Jonghyun says. "He's been slowing down, hasn't he?"

"Yeah," Jinki says, with a frown, "he's done nothing for four days. I wonder what this means."

"He's lying low," Kibum says with a shrug. "He knows we're after him."

"But here's the thing," Jinki says. "For an incubus, sex is like food. I mean they can eat real food, but it doesn't provide them with enough energy to live. Without sex, they die. So Taemin is doing this for survival. He has to come out again soon. And when we so much as see him - "

"As soon as we see him, we cuff him," Jonghyun says impatiently. "We know. You've been saying that constantly for the past two weeks."

"Well." Jinki shrugs. "Don't forget it. Those cuffs have been specifically engineered to subdue an incubus. Nothing else is going to stop him."

"Noted," Kibum says. "Now can we get going before Taemin finds another poor girl to screw?"

Minho remembers nothing of the three men, dressed in black leather clothing, carrying sleek black technology, driving a swift black van, who interrogated him the night of the falling star. But he has been warned about them; if they approach him, he's supposed to "play innocent."

Now, Minho isn't particularly clever. He's just about average, intelligence-wise. But it doesn't take a genius to know that if you've got to "play innocent," you are in fact guilty. So for the past two weeks he's been on his guard, his eyes constantly peeled for black leather. He's not sure exactly what his crime is, though he has a pretty good idea, but he at least knows who's looking for him.

Needless to say, he's not expecting his pursuers to be three muscular women staggering down an alleyway in high heels and miniskirts.

So when they ask him if he's seen a blond young man in a gray T-shirt, he doesn't think and truthfully replies that he has.

"Hey," one of the women says, her voice deeper and jaw squarer than the typical woman's, "it's him."

"Minho?" says another, arching an impeccably groomed eyebrow. "Oh, hey, it is. What a weird coincidence."

"Who cares," the third one snaps. "We need to get going, or we'll never catch him."

"It's not a coincidence, though!" the first woman says. "It's - ugh, I need to get out of these damn things" - she peels off the heels and tosses them aside - "it's not a coincidence, I think Minho is somehow still connected."

"Hey," Minho says. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Shut up," barks the second woman, and suddenly it hits Minho that they're not women at all.

"Oh, shit," he says. "Shit!"

"Hold him down," the third woman - or rather, man - says, and Minho finds himself pinned against the wall of the alley by the first one, who is surprisingly strong for being so short.

"Hi," he grunts in Minho's ear. "We met before. Kind of. I'm Jonghyun. Well, I guess if you were to remember anyone, you'd remember Jinki." He jerks his head at the third one, who's frowning. "He did most of the talking."

"Jonghyun," the one called Jinki says. "What makes you say Minho's still connected?"

"Kibum," Jonghyun says. "Do you still have the footage from the first club?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Go to the bit when Taemin comes out of the bathroom. Watch what he does."

Minho's heart sinks when he hears that name - because now there’s absolutely no denying who these men are and what their purpose is.

"Okay," Kibum mutters, peering at the screen. "He's out of the bathroom, he's walking toward the bar . . . he's next to Minho. He's - I think he's saying something to him. Yeah, he definitely said something. Minho's looking scandalized. And Taemin's gone."

"Minho," Jinki says quietly, "you didn't tell us that Taemin said something to you before he left."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Minho says coldly. "Let me go."

"Now why would you have done that?" Jinki continues, his voice deceptively pleasant, drawing closer. "You had no reason to hide anything from us. Unless . . . unless, of course, you were protecting him."

"Let me go!" Minho yells. Jonghyun's grip on him tightens. "Let me go!"

"You're a good actor," Jinki says. "I'll give you that much. But we're going to get the truth out of you, eventually."

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Minho insists, thrashing his arms in a vain attempt to escape.

"We did wipe him," Kibum points out. "He won't be able to tell us what happened at the club."

"But," Jonghyun says, "he will be able to tell us what's happened since then."

Jinki nods. "Put him in the van."

They lock Minho in a holding cell in the back of the van. It's made out of some weird, transparent material that's as thin as glass but refuses to break and makes no noise when Minho bangs his fist on it. He can hear the three of them discussing their plans up front, and as he looks out the darkly tinted back window, he realizes that they're heading straight for his apartment.

"Turn around!" he bellows at them. "I'll tell you where Taemin is! Listen to me!"

But apparently his cell is soundproof as well as indestructible, and he watches helplessly as they arrive at his apartment building and all three of them troop inside. His stomach churns uncomfortably and he prays that Taemin hasn't come home yet, that he's still out in the clubs . . .

But a few minutes later they reappear, Jonghyun carrying a limp figure in his arms, and Minho is joined in his cell by a barely breathing Taemin.

"Taemin," he cries frantically, bending over the slender boy as the van starts up again, "are you okay? Oh my God, Taemin talk to me!"

"I'm okay," Taemin manages, his voice a shallow pant. His eyes are closed, and a light sheen of sweat coats his forehead. "Wrist . . ."

Minho looks down at Taemin's hands and sure enough, there's a foreign object enclosing his left wrist. It looks to be a three-inch wide bracelet made of a thin, silvery metal, and it seems to have melded itself to Taemin's skin. On the underside there's a circular red light pulsing at a slow tempo.

"What about it?" Minho asks. "Do you want me to get it off?"

Taemin nods.

But despite his exhaustive efforts, Minho just can't get the bracelet off of Taemin's wrist. He keeps at it for the duration of the van ride, and the sleek bracelet simply refuses to budge.

"It's fine," Taemin tells him when the van shudders to a halt. The three men up front are discussing what they should do with Minho. "Leave it. Save yourself."

"I can't," Minho whispers. "I can't leave you!"

Taemin opens his mouth to speak, but there's a pause of several seconds as he labors to catch his breath.

"Don't talk," Minho urges. "Listen, I'll get us out of here. I promise. As soon as they open the door I'll - "

It's at that moment that they open the door, and Minho, caught offguard, is assaulted by a strong-smelling damp rag over his nose and mouth and promptly falls unconscious.

When he wakes up he's in a new cell. This one is a real room, with three earthy-looking walls. The fourth is a panel of the same strong, clear stuff that was in the van, but it's got five small holes drilled in it at face level - presumably for communication and ventilation. The room is completely empty, save for a crude stone bench attempting to pass as a bed. Across a dimly lit hallway he can see a cell identical to the one he's in, and staring back at him from that cell is Taemin.

"You're okay!" he yells, relieved.

"Yeah," Taemin replies, holding up two bare wrists. "They uncuffed me. But they also put us in separate cells."

Minho thinks about that for a moment, and then he pales. "So they know."

"They've known for a while," Taemin says grimly. "And now they're going to starve me to death."

next.

more notes: I've said that it's not exactly the same as the show, but there are some direct similarities:
- Jinki = Captain Jack Harkness.
- Jongkey having a nonserious, purely physical relationship = Gwen and Owen.
- Jinki being attracted to his pretty male team member (I didn't write this, but in my head it's there lol) = Jack and Ianto.
that's pretty much it. As for Taemin and Minho, they don't have a direct equivalent in the show. I mean, the idea of there being a horny alien is from the show. But the alien isn't supposed to have a corporeal form. So yeah, I took liberties with this one...
oh and also. Detective Inspector Yunho being totally useless is kind of a shoutout to the cops (Lestrade/Anderson) in Sherlock lol.