JOHNNY AND EVAN PLUS SEVEN - Part 63
“She’s my mom!” Johnny whined.
Diane patted Johnny’s cheek and snickered.
What with too many people in the house issuing too many instructions to one another, bed linen changes galore, frantic searches for extra towels, roommate reassignments among the children, and Evan and Johnny needing to disappear one at a time to train at their separate rinks, mingled with the fact that all three visiting women were fighting Mildred for the privilege of running the kitchen and doing all the cooking, it wasn’t until late at night that Evan was finally able to catch Johnny in passing to say, “I always wanted to go to Harvard Business School and become an international business mogul.”
“I can picture that,” said Johnny.
“Really? Because I think I was insane at the time.”
“Yeah? I collected crystal dragon figurines when I was little,” Johnny countered.
Evan blinked. Then his eyes widened and his eyebrows reached for his hairline. “Seriously?”
Johnny nodded. “I still have all of them, too. Don’t look so twitterpated.”
Evan compelled his eyebrows to relax. He tried to frown sententiously. He looked around the living room and his eye fell on his illuminated trophy display case. “I’ll clear a shelf in there for when you move in permanently.”
“Getting ahead of yourself there, big boy,” Johnny said, turning to go. Evan had the presence of mind to swat Johnny’s ass. Johnny darted out of further reach and ran up the stairs, laughing, leaving Evan to bed down in the converted office off the family room.
Diane and Tara and Patti were lounging on the master bed with Isadora and Laila and Lupe and Miyoung.
“Todas mis hermanas,” Lupe informed him gravely when he joined them.
“Am I not your hermana, too?” asked Johnny.
“Mamacita,” Lupe said.
“Don’t be a brat,” said Johnny, punching her arm lightly. “Hey, Mamacita,” he said to Patti, “what do you and my baby-daddy talk about all the time?”
Lupe laughed at baby-daddy, and Laila and Miyoung laughed because Lupe laughed. Diane and Tara pretended to be scandalized but Patti didn’t bother.
“It’s none of your beeswax,” she said, rocking Isadora back and forth. The baby had one fist jammed in her mouth and she was gnawing on it diligently.
“Tara will tell me when you’re out of the room.”
“No, I won’t,” said Tara.
“What, are you all in on it?”
They all ignored that. Patti looked over at Tara. “Evan is really quite nice-looking, isn’t he?”
Tara nodded vigorously. “He’s less orange these days. I wonder what happened?”
“Fatherhood suits him,” said Diane. “He’s so good with all those kids. They would drive me bananas, but he is so patient.”
“They climb him like a tree or a jungle gym,” said Patti.
“Because he’s so tall,” sighed Tara.
“Dreamy,” agreed Patti.
“And so polite! Did you notice?” added Diane.
“He gave me an extra ice cream cone when Johnny wasn’t looking,” Lupe threw in.
“He’s going to make a very nice husband for some lucky, uh, person,” said Tara.
Johnny rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, would you all shut up before I vomit?”
Patti smiled and got up to put Isadora in the crib. “Everybody to bed, Johnny needs his beauty sleep,” she said.
Lupe complained but Tara cajoled her and Laila and Miyoung off the bed. Lupe was sharing her room with Tara and succumbed easily to the whispered promise of hours of girltalk in the dark. Johnny kissed all of them goodnight and Tara shepherded the girls out of the room.
Diane looked at the giant bed. “Do you think we’ll all fit?”
“Hell to the yes,” said Johnny. “I’m going to pee and when I get back I’m hitting the lights so you’d better all be ready for sleep.”
At two a.m. he woke up to see his mother’s silhouette over the crib. He rubbed at his eyes and struggled out of bed. “No, Mama,” he whispered, “Let me. You go back to sleep.”
In the kitchen, Evan found Johnny feeding Isadora, and he wrapped his gorilla arms around both of them and fondled Johnny’s ass.
“You pervert, you really like my big butt, don’t you,” said Johnny, tilting the bottle of formula so that Isadora was comfortable.
“It’s an awesome butt,” replied Evan, looming over Johnny and being careful not to squish Isadora. He smoothed his hands over the butt in question. “You have the most incredible ass on the planet.”
Johnny squirmed and tilted his head up, and Evan leaned down to kiss him softly. When he drew back, Johnny smirked. “Enough with the ass cuppage. I’m holding my baby.”
“And I’m holding mine.” To demonstrate, Evan squeezed Johnny in his arms, just a little.
** ** **
One day before leaving for Japan, Evan came into the kitchen to find Mildred, Tara, Diane and Patti all making breakfast together. Even Galina was there, since she planned to take Johnny to the rink early.
“I’m surrounded by women,” he said quietly to Johnny, who was setting the table with plates and silverware.
“Isn’t it wonderful?” Johnny agreed.
The doorbell rang. In a few moments Evan came back into the kitchen with a foolish look on his face and Frank Carroll beyond his shoulder. Johnny stopped what he was doing and stared. “Evan?” he said coldly.
“Galina, you know Frank, right?” Evan said nervously.
Galina nodded brusquely at Frank. “Carroll,” she said imperiously.
“Zmievskaya,” Frank returned frostily.
“Frank wanted to talk over things with me before rink-time,” Evan said.
“And you couldn’t have said something?” Johnny asked. Between the estrogen fumes and the tense bitchiness in the air, it was getting colder than a rink full of PMSing ice princesses. Johnny was glad the children were outside, playing on the swings, with Mildred keeping an eye on them.
“You would have said no,” Evan explained.
“Thanks for giving me the chance, bitch.”
“Johnny, don’t be rude,” Patti said mildly.
Frank stepped into Johnny’s space menacingly. “Did you just call the Olympic gold medalist a bitch?”
Johnny turned and froze Frank in his tracks with a nasty glower. “Did you just call my bitch a gold medalist?”
Frank looked at Evan and spread out his arms, are you going to put up with this?
“Frank, I don’t mind, he doesn’t mean anything by it,” said Evan.
“Don’t interpret my words for me,” Johnny said.
“Shut up, Weir, you had your chance and you blew it,” said Frank.
“No!” Galina said. “Not talk to Johnnik like this.”
“And you, my dear lady,” Frank snarled, “you didn’t help him at all. After Baiul and Petrenko you thought you could turn anyone into a champion but you met your match, didn’t you? You let him act like a spoiled child and dress like a girly man and he never got another gold.”
Galina looked horrifically offended.
“Frank,” warned Evan, his face ashen white.
“No, Evan, I’m sick of this. His time came and went and he let it happen. He messed up in Turin and he’s been going downhill ever since and he has no idea how to-“
“Hold on, everyone!” Patti held up both hands. Diane and Tara were cowering behind her. “Mr. Carroll, I can’t allow you to speak about my son that way.”
Frank halted. It was hard to fight against Patti’s calm demeanor. “Mrs. Weir, I apologize for saying it in front of you, but I won’t take it back because I only told the truth. He should have retired.”
“Now I’m going to stop you right there. It’s not your business. You aren’t Johnny’s coach. This decision belongs to Johnny and Galina.”
Galina nodded forcefully. “Da,” she said.
“Patti, I can stick up for myself,” said Johnny crossly.
“Hush, sweetie, I know that but you cannot expect me to stand by and let this behavior continue.”
“Thank you, Patti,” Evan said gratefully.
“Also, I think the pancakes are burning,” Patti added, turning off the stove burner and turning on the overhead fan.
There was much epic glaring among the combatants, and then Johnny set down the juice glasses he was holding with a bang and stomped from the room.
“Honey,” Patti called after him.
Evan cringed. “It’s my fault,” he said, “I’ll go talk to him.”
Johnny was at the far end of the living room, staring out the plate-glass window at the garden. “Was I not clear? We agreed he wouldn’t come to the house,” said Johnny. “Are you trying to make me leave?”
Evan shook his head. “God, no. Of course not.” He stood next to Johnny, unsure where to put his hands. He shoved them in his pockets and shrugged gawkily. “We’re all going to be in Japan together so I thought we should get the awkwardness out early.”
Johnny frowned out the window. He wanted to stay mad, but he had to admit that was a very reasonable point. “You could have warned me,” he said.
“Yeah, I should have,” Evan said.
“I would have said no, of course.”
“That’s why I did it this way.”
“I don’t have to like it.”
“No, you don’t.”
“But I kind of understand.”
Evan stepped in front of Johnny and dared to pull Johnny against him. Johnny went reluctantly but didn’t resist. “This is going to be so hard for us. We’ll be competing against each other - again - but everything’s different from before. We don’t need any extra hurdles.”
In the background, the yelling in the kitchen had been going on nonstop and was getting louder. Galina was speaking more Russian than English. Frank didn’t seem to notice because he was trying to yell over her. Patti’s reasonable voice was almost entirely drowned out.
“Pederas grozen gyrbaw prokazhen!”
“Uh oh,” said Johnny. “That’s not good.”
“What did she say?” asked Evan.
Before Johnny could translate, Frank bellowed, “We’re in America, if you’re not going to talk in English then go back to Russia!”
“Oops,” said Evan.
Johnny snickered. “She’s Ukrainian.”
Galina obliged Frank by yelling in English: “Drop dead, capitalist pig!”
“Oh boy, are we going to survive this?” asked Johnny rhetorically. He leaned against Evan’s chest and wound his arms around Evan’s back. Evan’s hands, unsurprisingly, found their way to Johnny’s ass. Johnny snorted. “Ass man,” he said.
“So?” said Evan. “What do you like? Breasts?”
“Mmmmm, no, I like long legs,” Johnny said, snuggling closer.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. And big… noses.”
Evan chuckled. He tucked one hand into Johnny’s extremely tight jeans.
“Hey, you’d better treat me like a lady,” Johnny warned.
For answer, Evan stuck his other hand in, too, and squeezed both buttocks. “How can you wear such tight pants?” he marveled. That was approximately the moment when Evan realized his hands were entrapped. Not that he minded, because there was no underwear between Johnny’s jeans and Johnny’s smooth, warm ass. “God, this feels good,” Evan sighed contentedly. Johnny wiggled his ass a little to show the feeling was very mutual.
Abruptly Frank and Galina both stormed into the living room, still sniping at each other at high volume. The sounds stopped dead when Frank caught sight of Evan with both hands down Johnny’s pants. Frank’s jaw dropped to his necktie.
Evan blushed deep scarlet and tried to yank his hands out of Johnny’s pants. It didn’t work: the hands were well and truly stuck.
Johnny looked over his shoulder at Galina and Frank and started laughing. “Your face, Frank!” he almost wheezed. He reached down to undo his zipper and give Evan a chance to free his hands. Johnny was careful to give Frank a nice moonshot before zipping up again. Defiantly, he turned around, taking one of Evan’s hands in his.
Galina smiled at him fondly. She was ready to forgive him for his dalliance with the mongoose if it resulted in flabbergasting Frank so satisfyingly.
Frank’s lips flapped but no words emerged.
“You did know, right?” asked Evan. “Why else would Johnny be staying in my house?”
Galina walked up to Evan and patted his cheek. “You good man, Evan. Take care my Johnny.” Evan nodded quickly.
Johnny squeezed Evan’s hand. “You need to go and train, Evan. I’ll see you at dinner, yeah?” He released Evan’s hand, and he and Galina headed back to the kitchen. As he passed Frank, he said saucily, “He’s an epic kisser, too.”
Next part: Part 64