If there’s anything good about me, I’m the only one who knows

[moominpin]

I have been removed from university (not forcibly, you understand) and, in turn, have squirmed back into the arms of Tesco. Like a five-year old child who should have grown out of it years ago I suck at its rather fat breast waiting for the hours to tick by and for the pay check to roll in. I still great authority with a ‘yes, sir’ or an ‘of course

Comments

[bennybunny]

I'm just pleased more of your activities have taken on a voluntary tone. Unlike Grandpappy Gilbert and his socially unfortunate bowel movements.

Anyway, enough of the pleasantries, I was wondering if you could you change your name? Not so much of a hypothetical thing as a business proposition. I'll give you three pounds for every syllable I like. I already have a Kim on my adress accounts and yes, you WERE here first, you ARE a lovely saucy tart, but well, it's feng shui you see, what with my stewarding at glastonbury next week I really need to realign my karmic balance or my feet might smell. Something with a Q? That would be helpful. Quixotic? Queen? You work it through for yourself.
Keep me posted. Hope you're super.

[moominpin]

When taking into account it is a request from you AND it's connected with the vital fact of feng shui, I would be more than happy to oblige.

I am afraid I will have to avoid the obvious (and oh so hilarious) idea of Quim. While this may disappoint you, I fear it would do nothing for the levels of respect and fear I receive (not to mention my social standing. While it may be better for everyone if I was to be considered an outcast the idea of living in a cave floats my boat roughly the same amount as the notion of spending eternity with Bill Oddie...I just don't think we'd get on, it's those loud shirts of his). So instead, I propose Aunty Queenie (Queenie to you of course). Do tell me your thoughts on this.