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[moon_farie]

FUCK this shit. I'm sick of trying to make things work. I don’t want to try any harder to be with my friends, or to maybe feel like part of anything. I can't try any harder to make it work. People don’t want to follow up on friendships, of things they agree to. Why would i think that maybe I could find a group of friends who might fucking care

Comments

[deftonedpiano]

Look, I don't know if you're mad at me or not because you never confronted me if you were. I heard from Barbra that it would probably be a good idea for me to call you today.

You need to calm down and not be like me, because being like me and freaking out like this is going to cause way the fuck more problems than acting mature and confronting people when you're more level-headed. When you blow up, everyone else will blow up around you. This is not a good idea, and I only say that because how many friends have I severed ties with in the past six months? Did I even want to? No, but I went CRAZY and they and I decided hey let's not be around her (me) because she's (me) fucking crazy!!!!!

The only hushed tones you hear are when people are talking about Heather and don't want to upset you. Calm the shit down and actually confront the people with whom you are having problems, okay, or else you're just going to drive everyone away instead of finding the roots of your problems... mmkay?

[moon_farie]

Actually I am very calm. I wrote that calmly. Granted I left last night in a rage. I, at the moment am not going to confront crap, i'm sorry to say. For no reason other then that I dont want to. And please dont tell me what to do, as much as I normally value other peoples opinopns right now I dont want them.

[deftonedpiano]

I'm not telling you what to do. I'm suggesting. I don't know why you wrote that other than to get a response from people. People don't write in LiveJournal for themselves. You put things on display and don't expect some sort of feedback? Seriously.

[echosofeternity]

I understand You do not with to hear other peoples opions and probably ideas. I am sorry for bailing on you last night, until after classes i did not really truly realize just how much i was tired and was hurting. so i again apologize for bailing on the movie.
all i can say is D if you are not truly happy with the people you have surrounded yoruself with there is only one person who can change those feelings. not the people who may be causing them but you doing something about it. talking with people when a bitter emotion is brought up orsomething. I hope you know we love and care about you very much and you have been, are and will be a part of our life and our love for each other, i just hope you know that.

[deftonedpiano]

I second that.

[moon_farie]

Talking with people when I have a problem is what i've always done, weather you belive me or not. Oubviously I havent gotten much accomplished from it if I felt the need to say what I did. That was me telling people that I was going to stop trying, because I was sick of it not making a diffrence. There aren't spacific people to which I needed to vent thoes words to, it was everyone pretty much.

[echosofeternity]

D~ I think both Kelly and I well maybe I should just speak for myself, so I understand how you are feling, believe it or not I actually truly do. I understand your frustration with people and for he reasons for your frustration. I can say to you I have been there and I have delt with it. I know how trying and draiing it is on your mentally and physically and emotionally. And I am so sorry you are feeling this way about people.
D you seem so unhappy with the people around you in your life right now, maybe it's time for a change. but remember when and if you ever walk away what is going to be your guarentee that those people will be there when and if you ever do walk back? Sweetie you seem so lost and unhappy and i am sorry for that but saddly as much as you would like it to change, change has to start with you and end with you.
I love you alot honey, i have i will and i will always continue to walk beside you as a friend and support you when you cna not walk by yourself, i will never walk in front of you and i will never walk behind

[moon_farie]

I know i'm the one who has to change. Do you think I would go through all this expecting things to fix themselves? Naw i'm not that optimistic. I appriciate your condolances and agree with alot of what both of you have said, the anger is still there just more directed at othere people then you 2.

[deftonedpiano]

Do those people know that you have any anger toward them? I mean, besides Heather?