lighten up, it's just fashion
"lighten up, it's just fashion"
...my future roommate, santino rice
i've been wanting to blog about this, but i've kept avoiding it because it's embarrassing to admit i love some of these tv shows i love. ok, i'll readily confess i am no fashionista and haute couture is not my thang. what i'm more into is a sort of slutty kinky gothy chic
. however, i love love love this season's project runway. lately i've built a whole fantasy (yeah, i have a rich inner life) around me getting to choose, befriend, and become roommates with the three contestants who will make it to the final episode, get to create their own mini collection, and face off at new york fashion week in february.
now, if you know me and you watch the show, it would be pretty easy to guess who i'd choose. first, obviously, would be the most obnoxiously arrogant gay man i've ever seen...that freakishly tall, weirdly bearded, balding at 30, poorly groomed for a gay man, yet oh so bitchy
oh.my.god. i love/hate this man sooooooo much! sitting on my couch watching the episode where he opted to wear five inch stilettos to the nicky hilton party, i swear to you i laughed so hard i almost inhaled a carrot stick and peed myself simultaneously. when santino's designs are successful, they are brilliant and wholly unique. they blow me away. but when they are unsuccessful, they are just way-over-the-top disasters. clashing with my fantasy, though, are my real life grave doubts that santino will actually make it to the final three on the show because when any judge dares criticize a design of his, he slams them with defensiveness, arrogance, and a "screw you, i'm santino" attitude that is really ticking off the judges at this point. in last week's episode he did pull back just a tiny bit because he KNOWS they're a hair's breath away from cutting his ass, despite his talent, because of his attitude. and, after all, he really does want to make it to the fashion week face off.
back to my fantasy, though. also sharing the stylish soho apartment with santino and i would be the almost (but not really) leather daddy looking but very nellie sounding and acting
not only is nick a very talented designer, but he has good social skills and manners and an excellent work ethic. he's also wickedly funny, but in a decidedly less mean way than santino. nick is the typical best friend to a fag hag gay. he's the will to my grace, the stanford blatch to my carrie bradshaw. i'd have his baby if i still had a uterus and he had a cup, viable sperm, and a turkey baster.
rounding out the final three for the fashion week face off and my other roommate would be that sweetly beautiful asian babe,
chloe seems very straight, but in my fantasy she's bi and filled with secret lust for me. she's also an excellent cook (making fabulous lemon grass soup and shrimp and broccoli in lobster sauce) and a great laundress (what? me stereotype?). chloe would also be an impeccable housekeeper (someone has to do all the domestic stuff while the boys and i whoop it up) and would do all the food shopping and bill paying. chloe's fashion designs are very fresh, clean, and sophisticated, like chloe herself. but you see, ironically, santino and nick will be better girlfriends to me than chloe. the boys and i will get to do all the fun wacky things and chloe will be the voice of reason, the caretaker, the serious one among the four of us. she is our anchor, our rock. we love and depend on chloe to turn our spacious dwelling into a real home, a warm sanctuary where we can recharge after all the fabulousness of our madcap, whirlwind, big city lives.
yanno, i think i might be able to pitch this fantasy to bravo as a *project runway* spinoff. i wonder if demi moore is available to play my hot middle-aged babe part.
i should go and check on that. so, my darlings, as heidi would say, "auf wiedersehen."
...my future roommate, santino rice
i've been wanting to blog about this, but i've kept avoiding it because it's embarrassing to admit i love some of these tv shows i love. ok, i'll readily confess i am no fashionista and haute couture is not my thang. what i'm more into is a sort of slutty kinky gothy chic
. however, i love love love this season's project runway. lately i've built a whole fantasy (yeah, i have a rich inner life) around me getting to choose, befriend, and become roommates with the three contestants who will make it to the final episode, get to create their own mini collection, and face off at new york fashion week in february.
now, if you know me and you watch the show, it would be pretty easy to guess who i'd choose. first, obviously, would be the most obnoxiously arrogant gay man i've ever seen...that freakishly tall, weirdly bearded, balding at 30, poorly groomed for a gay man, yet oh so bitchy
oh.my.god. i love/hate this man sooooooo much! sitting on my couch watching the episode where he opted to wear five inch stilettos to the nicky hilton party, i swear to you i laughed so hard i almost inhaled a carrot stick and peed myself simultaneously. when santino's designs are successful, they are brilliant and wholly unique. they blow me away. but when they are unsuccessful, they are just way-over-the-top disasters. clashing with my fantasy, though, are my real life grave doubts that santino will actually make it to the final three on the show because when any judge dares criticize a design of his, he slams them with defensiveness, arrogance, and a "screw you, i'm santino" attitude that is really ticking off the judges at this point. in last week's episode he did pull back just a tiny bit because he KNOWS they're a hair's breath away from cutting his ass, despite his talent, because of his attitude. and, after all, he really does want to make it to the fashion week face off.
back to my fantasy, though. also sharing the stylish soho apartment with santino and i would be the almost (but not really) leather daddy looking but very nellie sounding and acting
not only is nick a very talented designer, but he has good social skills and manners and an excellent work ethic. he's also wickedly funny, but in a decidedly less mean way than santino. nick is the typical best friend to a fag hag gay. he's the will to my grace, the stanford blatch to my carrie bradshaw. i'd have his baby if i still had a uterus and he had a cup, viable sperm, and a turkey baster.
rounding out the final three for the fashion week face off and my other roommate would be that sweetly beautiful asian babe,
chloe seems very straight, but in my fantasy she's bi and filled with secret lust for me. she's also an excellent cook (making fabulous lemon grass soup and shrimp and broccoli in lobster sauce) and a great laundress (what? me stereotype?). chloe would also be an impeccable housekeeper (someone has to do all the domestic stuff while the boys and i whoop it up) and would do all the food shopping and bill paying. chloe's fashion designs are very fresh, clean, and sophisticated, like chloe herself. but you see, ironically, santino and nick will be better girlfriends to me than chloe. the boys and i will get to do all the fun wacky things and chloe will be the voice of reason, the caretaker, the serious one among the four of us. she is our anchor, our rock. we love and depend on chloe to turn our spacious dwelling into a real home, a warm sanctuary where we can recharge after all the fabulousness of our madcap, whirlwind, big city lives.
yanno, i think i might be able to pitch this fantasy to bravo as a *project runway* spinoff. i wonder if demi moore is available to play my hot middle-aged babe part.
i should go and check on that. so, my darlings, as heidi would say, "auf wiedersehen."