Rules of the Council
Title: Rules of the Council
Author: Magpie
Rating: pg-13
Genre: Nate/Eliot
Verse: BlackKing!WhiteKnight!Verse
Summary: Parker finds the Rules of Engagement
Notes:Tag to Three Days of the Hunter Job
This possibly misguided attempt at humor is dedicated to PirateKit, whose been waiting patiently for this for awhile now.
Somewhat of a crack warning.
It had been three days since the Hunter job. It was a random weekday afternoon, the entire team hanging out in Nate's apartment per usual. Nate was sorting through the contacts for their potential next jobs with Hardison, Sophie was reading over a script for her next play, and Eliot was cooking something in the kitchen that, judging by his insistence that under no circumstances should any of them sneak a taste test, Nate was pretty sure wasn't meant to be eaten.
That and the variety of ingredients on the counter that had labels indicating that, if swallowed, poison control should be contacted.
Parker was nowhere to be seen, but considering it was Parker, there was no real reason to be concerned. Chances were she was crawling through the air ducts or working on the various rigs she was instaling throughout the building for fast, unpredictable, exits in case of invasion.
Bit by bit they were all using their expertise to make this building into a fortress.
To protect their king. Their king and his knight and maybe themselves.
Hardison had managed to clear out the rest of the other residents and moved into one of the remaining apartments on the second floor. Parker had stolen the key to the cramped flat on the third floor across from the room Eliot had transformed into a training room. Nate was pretty sure she still had an apartment somewhere else in the city but she was spending most of her time in the building.
Sophie was the only one left to move in, and Nate had a feeling Hardison was going to be letting the expansive apartment that took up the rest of the third floor rest empty and waiting for as long as he needed.
Nate took another drink from his coffee and smiled. For a rare day the world seemed to be in order.
"I knew it!" Right on schedule Parker's voice shattered the peace.
They all turned to where Parker dropped out of an air duct, brandishing a yellow legal pad in the air. "I knew Eliot was a member of the council!" She started to flip through the pages and Nate realized, only belatedly, what exactly that particular pad was.
"Is that…" Eliot started, a note of alarm on his voice.
Parker stopped flipping, trailing her finger down the page. "It's the rules of engagement! Obviously it's the council's rules on his relation with Nate!" She looked up at Nate. "Are you a member of the council to?" She shook it off and turned back to the page. "Rule 36: There are times and places to get naked. These places include: Nate's apartment, Eliot's apartment, their apartment. These places do not include the office or any place in the office except for Eliot's office when the blinds are all drawn."
"Woah!" Hardison said, looking up his eyes wide. "Seriously? Is that what you guys… that’s just na-"
Parker interrupted him. "Rule 37: A little pain can be a good thing so long as both parties involved have had a thorough discussion before hand and the Purple octopus has been addressed." By now both Eliot and Nate were moving quickly to snatch the pad from Parker who, seeing them coming, started to retreat to the air duct above.
Sophie and Hardison looked like they were trying to decide between being disturbed and laughing hysterically.
"Purple octopus?" Hardison finally managed. "I… what?"
"I'm guessing it makes sense in context." Sophie added, watching and Nate and Eliot tried to catch the blonde thief. "Though I have to wonder. Do you think it's a safe word or something?" Nate wasn't watching but he could hear the smirk in her voice. "Kinky."
Hardison had apparently decided to go with the hilarity of the situation and let himself be disturbed later. "Who do you think tops? I mean, seriously, neither of them seem really the sub type."
"I don't know Hardison, Eliot has always seemed somewhat eager to do as Nate told."
Both Nate and Eliot stopped their chasing of Parker long enough to shoot withering glares to the other two on the sidelines providing commentary. "We… just… no." Nate managed.
"It's an inside joke." Eliot more growled than said the explanation. "We were talking about Spicy food and there was…" He trailed off, probably realizing that the distraction had allowed Parker to escape to the air vents above.
"Eliot…" Parker singsonged from above. "You look like you need to remember rule 29: Eliot is not allowed to take his anger out on items in Nate's apartment."
Nate rubbed his forehead. "Alright, I see everyone is having their fun. Yes, it's a list of rules. It's a running joke between us. I wrote them down."
"Because you're a control freak who needs rules." Eliot muttered, clearly not above taking out his anger on the owner of the items in Nate's apartment.
"And they're private." Nate finished. "They aren’t the rules from any council Parker. Just things for us to remember to keep things running smooth."
Parker dropped out of the air vent, but kept her distance. "I guess I understand." She admitted. "Some of these do seem pretty important to remember. Like the rule about letting Eliot know you're there before touching him." She absently rubbed her jaw at the memory of the first time she broke that one. "And I really agree with rule 22." She added.
"Rule twenty-two?" Sophie inquired.
"Nate is no longer allowed to wear ugly hats with leopard prints."
"So that’s what happened to all of those." Hardison commented.
"I personally am glad you put your foot down on that one Eliot." Sophie commented. "They were hideous."
"Can we have the list back now Parker?" Nate prompted, distracting her from Eliot who was slowly inching forward.
"No. These are great! We should hang this up on the fridge with cute little magnets. Expect we'd have to cross out the rules about you having sex. Or we could leave them and maybe change a few words. Like rule 45: Nate is not allowed to surprise Eliot with a new toy when he's blindfolded. Though I..."
"PARKER!" The entire team shouted.
"Aww… you guys are no fun. Alright, I'll give it back to you." Nate breathed a sigh of relief. "If you two let me watch you make out." She added with much too much glee.
Nate closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face. "Parker, I'm considering letting Eliot break rule 48."
Parker handed over the list and was gone almost before anyone could register her look of terror.
------
New Rules mentioned:
Rule 22: Nate is no longer allowed to wear ugly hats with leapord prints
Rule 29: Eliot is not allowed to take his anger out on items in Nate's apartment
Rule 36: There are times and places to get naked. These places include: Nate's apartment, Eliot's apartment, their apartment. These places do not include the office or any place in the office except for Eliot's office when the blinds are all drawn
Rule 37: A little pain can be a good thing so long as both parties involved have had a thorough discussion before hand and the Purple octopus has been addressed
Rule 45: Nate is not allowed to surprise Eliot with a new toy when he's blindfolded
Rule 48: Unknown, but enough to scare Parker into submission
Author: Magpie
Rating: pg-13
Genre: Nate/Eliot
Verse: BlackKing!WhiteKnight!Verse
Summary: Parker finds the Rules of Engagement
Notes:Tag to Three Days of the Hunter Job
This possibly misguided attempt at humor is dedicated to PirateKit, whose been waiting patiently for this for awhile now.
Somewhat of a crack warning.
It had been three days since the Hunter job. It was a random weekday afternoon, the entire team hanging out in Nate's apartment per usual. Nate was sorting through the contacts for their potential next jobs with Hardison, Sophie was reading over a script for her next play, and Eliot was cooking something in the kitchen that, judging by his insistence that under no circumstances should any of them sneak a taste test, Nate was pretty sure wasn't meant to be eaten.
That and the variety of ingredients on the counter that had labels indicating that, if swallowed, poison control should be contacted.
Parker was nowhere to be seen, but considering it was Parker, there was no real reason to be concerned. Chances were she was crawling through the air ducts or working on the various rigs she was instaling throughout the building for fast, unpredictable, exits in case of invasion.
Bit by bit they were all using their expertise to make this building into a fortress.
To protect their king. Their king and his knight and maybe themselves.
Hardison had managed to clear out the rest of the other residents and moved into one of the remaining apartments on the second floor. Parker had stolen the key to the cramped flat on the third floor across from the room Eliot had transformed into a training room. Nate was pretty sure she still had an apartment somewhere else in the city but she was spending most of her time in the building.
Sophie was the only one left to move in, and Nate had a feeling Hardison was going to be letting the expansive apartment that took up the rest of the third floor rest empty and waiting for as long as he needed.
Nate took another drink from his coffee and smiled. For a rare day the world seemed to be in order.
"I knew it!" Right on schedule Parker's voice shattered the peace.
They all turned to where Parker dropped out of an air duct, brandishing a yellow legal pad in the air. "I knew Eliot was a member of the council!" She started to flip through the pages and Nate realized, only belatedly, what exactly that particular pad was.
"Is that…" Eliot started, a note of alarm on his voice.
Parker stopped flipping, trailing her finger down the page. "It's the rules of engagement! Obviously it's the council's rules on his relation with Nate!" She looked up at Nate. "Are you a member of the council to?" She shook it off and turned back to the page. "Rule 36: There are times and places to get naked. These places include: Nate's apartment, Eliot's apartment, their apartment. These places do not include the office or any place in the office except for Eliot's office when the blinds are all drawn."
"Woah!" Hardison said, looking up his eyes wide. "Seriously? Is that what you guys… that’s just na-"
Parker interrupted him. "Rule 37: A little pain can be a good thing so long as both parties involved have had a thorough discussion before hand and the Purple octopus has been addressed." By now both Eliot and Nate were moving quickly to snatch the pad from Parker who, seeing them coming, started to retreat to the air duct above.
Sophie and Hardison looked like they were trying to decide between being disturbed and laughing hysterically.
"Purple octopus?" Hardison finally managed. "I… what?"
"I'm guessing it makes sense in context." Sophie added, watching and Nate and Eliot tried to catch the blonde thief. "Though I have to wonder. Do you think it's a safe word or something?" Nate wasn't watching but he could hear the smirk in her voice. "Kinky."
Hardison had apparently decided to go with the hilarity of the situation and let himself be disturbed later. "Who do you think tops? I mean, seriously, neither of them seem really the sub type."
"I don't know Hardison, Eliot has always seemed somewhat eager to do as Nate told."
Both Nate and Eliot stopped their chasing of Parker long enough to shoot withering glares to the other two on the sidelines providing commentary. "We… just… no." Nate managed.
"It's an inside joke." Eliot more growled than said the explanation. "We were talking about Spicy food and there was…" He trailed off, probably realizing that the distraction had allowed Parker to escape to the air vents above.
"Eliot…" Parker singsonged from above. "You look like you need to remember rule 29: Eliot is not allowed to take his anger out on items in Nate's apartment."
Nate rubbed his forehead. "Alright, I see everyone is having their fun. Yes, it's a list of rules. It's a running joke between us. I wrote them down."
"Because you're a control freak who needs rules." Eliot muttered, clearly not above taking out his anger on the owner of the items in Nate's apartment.
"And they're private." Nate finished. "They aren’t the rules from any council Parker. Just things for us to remember to keep things running smooth."
Parker dropped out of the air vent, but kept her distance. "I guess I understand." She admitted. "Some of these do seem pretty important to remember. Like the rule about letting Eliot know you're there before touching him." She absently rubbed her jaw at the memory of the first time she broke that one. "And I really agree with rule 22." She added.
"Rule twenty-two?" Sophie inquired.
"Nate is no longer allowed to wear ugly hats with leopard prints."
"So that’s what happened to all of those." Hardison commented.
"I personally am glad you put your foot down on that one Eliot." Sophie commented. "They were hideous."
"Can we have the list back now Parker?" Nate prompted, distracting her from Eliot who was slowly inching forward.
"No. These are great! We should hang this up on the fridge with cute little magnets. Expect we'd have to cross out the rules about you having sex. Or we could leave them and maybe change a few words. Like rule 45: Nate is not allowed to surprise Eliot with a new toy when he's blindfolded. Though I..."
"PARKER!" The entire team shouted.
"Aww… you guys are no fun. Alright, I'll give it back to you." Nate breathed a sigh of relief. "If you two let me watch you make out." She added with much too much glee.
Nate closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face. "Parker, I'm considering letting Eliot break rule 48."
Parker handed over the list and was gone almost before anyone could register her look of terror.
------
New Rules mentioned:
Rule 22: Nate is no longer allowed to wear ugly hats with leapord prints
Rule 29: Eliot is not allowed to take his anger out on items in Nate's apartment
Rule 36: There are times and places to get naked. These places include: Nate's apartment, Eliot's apartment, their apartment. These places do not include the office or any place in the office except for Eliot's office when the blinds are all drawn
Rule 37: A little pain can be a good thing so long as both parties involved have had a thorough discussion before hand and the Purple octopus has been addressed
Rule 45: Nate is not allowed to surprise Eliot with a new toy when he's blindfolded
Rule 48: Unknown, but enough to scare Parker into submission