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[moondust9358]

Blah. Well, I'm really bad at making serious entries and sticking to them. I almost always feel the need to delete them within a day or two. As you can see. Anyway, damn, I aggrandize situations way too much. That's something I want to work on. People still annoy me, well, a lot of things still annoy me. I guess that's a problem everyone has though

Comments

[syrax]

Sounds like someone is justifying just a tad bit. Maybe the deletion of entries is an attempt to avoid confrontation? Is it a conscious or unconscious decision? In a half-Kierkegaard half-Shakespeare sort of way, the current despair described in the deleted posts is less than the fear of entering an unknown area that seems to be according to limited objective knowledge pretty hopeless. Think about things. You said you were satisfied with the way things were so you didn't need to really be existentialist. I told you you weren't really happy, you just didn't know it yet. You are obviously suffering some sort of despair, it's just being repressed/suppresed (you tell us which). So talk about it.

[moondust9358]

It's definitely a conscious decision. Mainly, I need to realize that there are certain things I would rather keep private, or actually discuss with the person they concern rather than make a mopey LJ entry about them, which is usually unfair and mostly incorrect. The thing is, like I said, I exaggerate or warp situations according to the way I perceive them (which is oftentimes irrational) and however I'm feeling at the time, again without any outside perspective, rationalization, or just general calming down. You're confusing what you perceive to be my ongoing despair with very temporary problems that, for one reason or another, affect me very strongly, and coerce me into writing about them. For example, the situation I wrote about in my deleted entry, it was resolved the next day. Then, I feel no need for the entry to remain, so I delete it. I just need to take more initiative into not repressing things (not really suppressing

[syrax]

Meh, I don't really care about existentialism in people. It's not a mandatory demand to live like spiritualism is, it's merely a right a person has to make their circumstances better. What matters is the context of yourself. It's looking at your own problems and seeing how to fix them, which you said they were too miniscule to really worry about. If there are no problems, congratulations, you're enlightened/one with God. It's not gonna happen

[moondust9358]

I never said there were no problems, because of course there are. Really, they are just much more fixable than I realize, and I just need to take more initiative to fix them, which also stems from my lack of confidence in certain areas.

I suppose it is both repression and suppression, but I am trying to counter the suppression with problem-solving. That's what I need to work on, though. I'm sure you're right, there wouldn't be these recurring problems if there weren't some underlying factor, but I haven't yet determined what that is. Inferiority complex, maybe? I don't know. Maybe you could help me figure it out? Not over the Internet, though. We should hang out soon.