just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me and i can't help it
robbery
yunho/jaejoong, pg, angst
1110 w.
yunho takes jaejoong's heart away.
i wrote this a long, long time ago and personally i don't think it's really good but i still hope you'll read it, like it and of course, leave a comment because i haven't written anything for such a long time :c thank you for all your support ♥
I.
He takes it and he runs away.
I don’t chase after him.
I let him get away.
II.
He grabs my hand and we run, street after street, color after color. He never tells me why we’re running or what we’re running from, and I never question. Suddenly, he stops. I jerk from the impact.
I don’t dare to ask why.
“You tired?” He looks me in the eye but I avoid his gaze. Shaking my head, I try to get my hand out of his grip but he doesn’t let go. The warmth from my palm travels to my chest and I tell myself to ignore it.
After all, he doesn’t know.
That year, I was seven, he was eight.
III.
It’s 10 years later. He still doesn’t have a clue, but he has one thing - a girlfriend. Every morning, she comes with breakfast and he cycles her to school; I watch from my window and let the wind flutter in my face (sometimes I feel my cheeks getting wet after my vision blurs and I tell myself, it’s just the moisture from the wind).
He comes back and sees me at my window. (I imagine, I’m Rapunzel and he’s the prince who visits everyday without fail. We’re in a fairytale, though we’ll never get a happy ending.)
Smiling, he shouts, “Morning, Jaejoong-ah!”
I make a hand sign and he nods. My phone rings soon after.
“Morning, sunshine! Have you eaten? Minhee just sent breakfast, do you want any? I don’t thi-” He rambles on but I cut him off.
I tell him I’ve eaten even though I haven’t taken a bite of anything since last night.
“Really? But it feels like it’s been forever since we’ve had breakfast together! I can’t live without my daily sunshine, Jaejoongie-ah, just eat with me, please?” I know he’s pouting on the other end of the call, I can’t see it but I can hear it.
I give in and tell him I’ll be over at his house in 3 minutes.
I always give in to his requests, don’t I? A bitter smile creeps at my lips.
IV.
She made his favourite - he’s supposed to like it, but he scrunches up his nose after taking a bite and places it back onto his plate.
“What’s wrong? I thought you loved this. I mean, you do, is there something wrong with yours? Have mine then.”
I hand my portion to him but he just waves it away.
“It... it just doesn’t taste like what I like. It doesn’t taste like... yours.” He doesn’t know how much joy courses to my heart because of what he says (he never knows, does he?) and it hurts, the way the truth hits me.
“Oh. Then would you like me to make breakfast for you? I’m sure you’re hungry after all that cy- I mean, since it’s morning. I’ll make some more of this, just the way you like it. Go rest, I’ll bring it to your room.” He’s reluctant to go at first, but I threaten to ignore him for the next three weeks and he finally complies.
I walk into his room, knowing he’d be asleep.
He’s lying on the bed, eyes slightly open and mouth wide, snoring softly.
The corners of my lips tug into a smile.
I shake his shoulders gently and he awakens, eyes bleary with sleep.
“Is breakfast ready?” He gives me a cheeky grin.
“Yes, you lazy pig.”
He eats and I watch, as marigold streams in through the window.
I wonder if he knows that this is what I need every morning.
V.
Time continues to fly.
We’re both working in the same company and he’d broken up with his girlfriend over a fight years ago (she always thought that he was cheating on her but no, he wasn’t - I could make sure of that).
He never knows.
“Yunho-sshi, w-would you like, like to have dinner with m-me tonight?” A random female employee tries to ask him out, yet again.
He shines his signature smile and she thinks that he’ll accept her invitation.
But things always deter from the way you want them to happen in, don’t they.
“I’m sorry, Ji Eun-sshi, I already have plans with Jaejoong-sshi tonight, right, Jaejoong-ah?”
I nod my head jerkily, hoping that she wouldn’t notice my nervousness.
“O-oh, then that’s a disappointment. Next time then, Yunho-sshi. I’ll be going back now.” She casts a downward glance, bows a little and walks away dejectedly.
“Since when did we have plans, Yunho-sshi?” I raise an eyebrow at him.
“Since now, Jaejoong-ah.”
He winks at me and I giggle, raising a hand to cover my mirth.
We have dinner together later that day; both of us single, 24 and 25 years old respectively. We share secrets and laugh over memories of the past 20 years and he cracks a joke.
“We’re like husband and wife, you know? It’s been 20 years, Jaejoong-ah, can you believe it?”
I shake my head as a dull ache strikes at my heart.
He still doesn’t know, he never does.
VI.
Now, we live in the same apartment.
One day, he loses his job.
He comes back red-eyed and I cook him my kimchi jjigae, hoping he’ll feel better. But he sits and stares into his bowl, not making a move to eat.
“Yunho-yah...” I put my hand on his shoulder.
Abruptly, he pulls my arm and presses his lips onto mine, teeth scraping against my bottom lip, our tongues tangling in a war. His hands are on my cheeks, eyes shut tight, just kissing me for the sake of kissing. I close my eyes. (I’ve always wanted this, haven’t I?) A sudden realisation hits me that I’d always been dreaming of him, the impossible, the one who would never be mine. But all I wanted to do, was to feel him for that moment, feel that I was the only one in his world, feel that I was important to him. For a moment, it felt like I was the only thing he could hold onto as he was drowning, drowning in sorrow.
All of a sudden, he pushes me away and apologises for kissing me like that. I smile and tell him, “It’s okay, it’s just a kiss, I mean, we’re best buddies, right? It doesn’t matter, really.” But it’s my first kiss.
He doesn’t know that my smile doesn’t reach my eyes.
VII.
‘Hold up, this is a robbery!’
He takes my heart and he runs away.
I don’t chase after him.
I let him run away.
a/n: i hope you liked it! ♥ C: