H50 fic
Title: That Thing I Have For You It’s Vast And Unaccountable
Pairing: Steve/Danno
Rating: NC-17
Summary: An episode coda to 1x23 ‘Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau’.
Author’s note: Yes, it's been awhile... it's unbelievable how little you get done when you've got too much time on your hands. I thought I get these two codas out there before I rush off to a wi-fi free family holiday and hopefully afterwards I get to work on all that half-finished stuff in my folders. I’m not even sure what this is. Angsty PWP, possibly. Also, no time for beta - sorry.
Disclaimer: You know the drill: not mine, no profit!
Don’t fucking scare me like that again.
Don’t go back to her.
Don’t leave.
Steve doesn’t know how to say any of these things. But he knows how to bite at the edge of Danny’s collarbone just sharp enough to make the other man draw in a stuttering breath.
“Steve?” Danny enquires, frowning slightly, fingers tangled in the unruly mess of Steve’s hair.
Danny’s voice is raw and breathless, and Steve can’t take it. Not after what happened. Not after watching Danny struggle to breathe, panic and pained tears bright in his eyes.
“Don’t Danny, please don’t,” he whispers helplessly.
Which is a mistake. Danny’s nothing if not perceptive. Even in this state. Even with Steve buried in him to the hilt. He looks up at Steve, hand still steady on the back of Steve’s head, and when Danny’s brilliant blue eyes bore into his’ Steve knows he should just cut his loses. He tries to keep his face impassive, nonetheless, slowly thrusting into Danny again and again. He should know better. He always cracks in the face of Danny scrutinizing him like he already knows all of Steve’s secrets; he always gives too much of himself away. And this time he’s barely holding on to the threads as it is.
He half-wishes Danny hadn’t come by tonight, armed with beer and jokes and that enigmatic energy that Steve can’t resist. Steve had his shit together. He managed to make it through this crap-fest of a day even though he hadn’t been able to breathe properly since Danny almost died in a freaking archway. He powered on, took the sight of Danny and his ex-wife cuddled up asleep in stride and didn’t let the facade slip once. He may have almost lost it when Danny hugged him and he clung back a little too tightly, but luckily Sang Min’s sudden emergence put a quick stop to that. He could deal with this; he only needed some time alone, some space. Of course Danny had other plans.
Steve should’ve told him that he wasn’t in the mood. He should’ve send Danny away. That’s never truly an option, though. They watched a game and drank and bantered and laughed. It’s always been easy, this thing between them. So when Danny’s hand landed on his thigh halfway into an anecdote of how Gracie lost her first tooth and well into his fourth beer, Steve just went with it. They do this sometimes - a playful rough-and-tumble leading somewhere else, sloppy intoxicated blowjobs or letting of steam after a particularly devastating case. Friends with benefits is what Danny called it once, although they don’t really discuss this. Steve’s on board with that. It works. Or it used to work. Tonight he can’t look at Danny without feeling his throat constrict.
“Hey,” Danny says tentatively, startling Steve out of his thoughts.
He draws him down gently, barely any pressure behind his touch. Steve goes willingly. He doesn’t know how not to follow Danny’s lead. It scares him shitless sometimes to think that he’d surrender all of his tightly guarded control to Danny in a heartbeat. He isn’t sure how not to lose himself in the process.
Danny’s lips flutter against his’ in the ghost of a kiss. Steve feels a tremor run through him as Danny carefully cups his face with both hands, but he doesn’t pull back. Danny’s steady gaze holding him firmly in place as the other man traces the corner of Steve’s lips with his tongue and nibbles at Steve’s bottom lip.
“Hush,” Danny whispers into Steve’s mouth and presses on, delving into a kiss that is perfect and painful all at once.
A sigh escapes Steve’s trembling lips. The tips of Danny’s fingers run smoothly along the side of his jaw, trailing down his neck and shoulders before roaming everywhere. Each touch light as a feather and entirely too soft. Like Danny thinks Steve might break, crumble into dust under the weight of Danny’s fingers on his skin. Steve wants to tell him to stop being ridiculous, that he isn’t made of glass. Only, he’s not sure it’s the truth anymore. It’s still hard to breathe and his chest feels so tight it hurts.
“I’ve got you,” Danny mumbles, biting back a groan as Steve picks up the pace. “I’ve got you.”
The words are breathed into Steve’s skin as Danny starts pressing butterfly kisses everywhere he can reach. It hardly feels real. Danny looking translucent in the pale blue light of the flickering screen. For an instant there is that horrible sinking feeling that this is all just a dream, and Steve’s suddenly insanely scared that Danny will fade into nothingness any moment now. His fingers dig into Danny’s hips almost of their own volition. Danny’s answering hiss speaks of pain and pleasure in equal amounts. It resonates somewhere deep inside Steve, unearthing a deliciously twisted sense of longing, a hunger that lodges in his throat.
“It’s okay,” Danny murmurs, caressing Steve’s taut arms affectionately and repeating, “I’ve got you,” slowly, willing Steve to hear him.
Steve’s not familiar with this subdued version of Danny, soft-spoken and gentle. The Danny he knows is brash and loud, but right now only the tiny noises Danny makes in the back of his throat - keen and needy - shatter the languorous silence surrounding them. The uncharted intimacy leaves Steve feeling raw and fragile, like he’s being torn apart, all his emotions running too close to the surface. A little bit of himself breaks away under each soft brush of Danny’s lips, each slow lingering touch.
As if he can sense Steve’s turmoil Danny draws him down again, winding his arms around Steve’s damp neck and muffling Steve’s desperate whimpers with his lips. Steve can feel Danny’s erection rubbing against the soft skin of his underbelly. The kiss is slow and sensual, and Danny hums into his mouth contentedly. Dazedly Steve realizes that this is Danny’s way of offering comfort, tender and reckless. The sticky warmth that engulfs him seeps into all the cracks and suddenly it’s okay to feel a little vulnerable, a little unhinged. Steve lets go, sinking into Danny like he’s coming home.
Danny comes with a cry, uttering Steve’s name like it’s being ripped from his throat. He sinks into the couch with a blissful little sigh all loose-limbed and mellow. The sight triggers a primal response; it only takes a few more short thrusts before Steve follows Danny over the edge. He slumps down next to his partner, panting heavily.
They lie there in the dim twilight of Steve’s living room and Steve experiences the weirdest sensation, like he’s floating detached from his body. He should probably do something, explain himself or at least get them off the couch, but all he can do is stare at Danny, who’s looking breathtaking in this state - positively aglow, sated and alive.
I can’t lose you, too,” he confesses, even though he never meant to say these words out loud.
Danny simply smiles at him, looking fond and tired and a little bit amused.
“You are so clueless, McGarrett,” he sighs. “So fucking clueless.”
Steve reaches out for him and then doesn’t know what to do with his hand. He drops it on the middle of Danny’s chest, spreading out his fingers in a fan. Danny instantly arches into the touch, snuggling closer and curling himself around Steve. When he’s finally turned them into one giant naked heap of indiscernible body parts, Danny’s eyes drift shut.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he tells Steve softly, and his chest rises and falls steadily under Steve’s hand.
It’s good. It’s soothing. It’s almost enough.